Quickie hello

Hi all, I'm a 60 year old granny who has an eating disorder & try as I might, I cannot control it!

I have fibromyalgia, depression & angina, as well as memory problems, but it's my diet that is causing me most grief.

For quite a while I've had a problem swallowing my food (& even drinks sometimes) I've been checked, have had various tests but they cannot find a cause. I now have virtually no saliva nor any taste buds so eating has become a nightmare. I began skipping meals because I have no appetite at all, but then will eat something like a soft dessert in the evening followed by chocolate. Now however the chocolate is being literally shovelled down. At times I choke on it, but still I eat it, until I'm unable to push anymore in. Then of course I feel dreadfully sick! This leads to another problem because I have a lifelong phobia about vomit, so I lay in bed just trying not to be sick.

The following morning I pray for forgiveness & promise myself that I will be stronger but of course I'm not!

I 've asked the gp for help but he isn't really interested, I believe he thinks I'm an attention seeker, which I'm not. I realise that this is a way of punishing myself , I've had a pretty difficult life but have come safely through it. Life is now easy & calm. I should be enjoying it, but I'm hating myself instead.

I know about healthy eating etc & in fact I buy lots of healthy things but they go to waste as I can't face eating them.

Well, that's a nice simple introduction- sorry, I forgot I was only meaning to say hello

Anyway, it's nice to be on here, I look forward to getting to know you better

Cobweb

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