Any suggests on getting a VI motivated?
He has daytime driving privileges but doesn't feel comfortable leaving the house. Sends 16 hours a day on his laptop playing Facebook games. He does mow the yard, but that is about it.
I work fulltime and have to come home to cook, clean and everything things else. After being at work all day, I just want to relax and enjoy the pool. He won't come out and join me, just sits inside, playing solitaire.
Hi BoopfanIs your husband's sight loss recent? Losing sight later in life is traumatic, and like a bereavement; you grieve for the person you used to be, the life you lost. It can take years to work through that.
Whether it's recent or not, from what you you say in your post, it sounds like depression to me. It's not that unusual, sadly; if you don't know other people who are coping with sight loss and getting on with their lives, it can feel like there's just no future in which you can do the things you used to do. But that's not true - people with sight loss can do all kinds of things, they just need to find new ways of doing them.
I'm in the UK so I don't know what services are available to you in the US. Here we can access mobility training which would help with getting out - sounds like your OH still has some useful sight, and making best use of that to build up his confidence out of the house can be a game changer.
Are there any local social groups for people with sight loss? Even if he won't go alone, you could go with m at first, or if you can make contact with them, someone might agree to get in touch with him and let him know this is not the end of everything...
How about friends - if someone loses sight, friends often don't know how to handle that, and they stop getting in touch. More isolation. Maybe you could persuade an old friend to get in touch and invite him out.
Ultimately, he may need some external help for his depression, such as counseling. Again, I don't know how you go about getting that over there.
He's still the same person he was before his sight loss; he's just forgotten how to be that person, and doesn't know how to be that person in a new way. But there always is a way.
I have a blind husband, he walks, has a guide dog, travels alone and is very sociable. He is in charge of washing the dishes and clothes and shopping. But he's had sight loss all his life - it's his normal. Just telling you that so you know it's possible.
Good luck, I think you need to find some help with this.
Jaxta
Thank you for your very thoughtful reply. He is definitely depressed. He lost his retina in both eyes, second eye was three years ago. He has turned to alcohol, more than previously as his way of coping.
We have a local outside concert venue, I have tried to get him to go as he loves music. His excuse for not going is that it won't be enjoyable because he can't see the band. He used to love to cook, rarely used a recipe, but his excuse now is that he can't read the directions. Of course, I have many magnify glasses for him to use so that is just another excuse.
He has a appointment with his primary doctor next week so I believe, I just need to go in with him and ask for a referral to a therapist.
Patti
