Overwhelmed

[Seabird55]

I'm new here - just registered. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and feeling really overwhelmed. It doesn't feel real yet and at the same time I feel so unprepared. There seems like so much to do and buy and get ready for having our baby. Friends and family with babies have so much stuff! I don't have anything yet and wouldn't even know where to start! But I feel like it is too early to start getting things because if I do then something bad might happen. Almost like I've counted my chickens before their hatched! Also want to get the room prepared, paint and buy new things but shouldn't as it feels wasteful and not very environmentally friendly. Then go round in circles again because it feels too early but then want to stop feeling so unprepared. Feels like I've got a really important exam that I haven't revised for! Now feel like I'm rambling! Any reassurance would be much appreciated. Thank you.

[Abs1403]

congratulations on your pregnancy first of all! It can be so overwhelming and especially when well meaning friends can be telling you everything they use / have / think you'll need.

when I had my first we got a first baby grow after our 12 week scan as a bit of a celebration and to mark something was really happening! I then 'window shopped' for weeks until after the 20 week scan when I went a bit mad stocking up on everything from the little things like nappies and wipes, to the bigger nursery furniture, pram and car seat. I found using the time between scans helped me to focus on what I really would need, what I wanted and gave family time to tell us what they wanted to buy. First babies get spoilt rotten by grandparents and buying for a new baby can get expensive if everything is brand new so my advice would be take your time, accept the gifts if family do want to help contribute (our inlaws got the pushchair, my parents contributed towards the nurseryfurniture ) and also look at some second hand items as new babies aren't cheap!

Ultimately its your choice when you start getting stuff but definitely worth shopping around. I'd also say get the essentials and worry about the nice to haves once baby arrives. What one baby loves another will really dislike and they're all different.

The bounty app has a really helpful list of things you might need so worth downloading that and taking a look if you haven't already

Good luck

[Noclueaboutbabies]

i feel the same. 14 weeks with my first, partners mum keeps asking about what I will get first but I have told her it's to soon to think about. We are just putting money away so hopefully we can afford what we need. But I won't be looking until after 20 weeks at least, thats just for my own piece of mind though, everyone else may be different. Also the amount of people I have heard say they wouldn't buy all the expensive stuff or brand new if they had another, put things into perspective. Congratulations by the

[suysuy]

Hi there and congratulations! I normally don't write any replies or follow this forum but saw your message on the digest email and I was like oh my it was me! 2 years ago! I can't believe I have an 18 mo healthy and brilliant daughter, time do flies but what I wanted to say that you're not alone feeling this! -i just don't know how to write replies in a structured manner so sorry about that -

It's always hard to make choices especially when you have pregnancy hormones running in your veins. Some of the purchases I made, I still regret, some were just the right thing we needed but believe me, it will all be clear after the baby comes.

One thing that works for someone might not work for you. All babies and their family dynamics are different and you'll buy/obtain stuff on the way. There's online shopping, same day deliveries even if you need something urgently so do not worry! You don't need to be prepared for everything.

Babies in their first months don't need their own rooms, he/she'll be only needing your touch, and a safe environment, nothing else. You can still arrange the nursery on the way when your LO is growing with his/hers changing needs.

What I would suggest is making lists, not just one list. Make many. Like what you want the nursery look like, what you think you may need ie. pumping gear, what you can have as hand me downs or second hand. What are the best products mums suggest online. Which ones are the safest, efficient etc. Do your research. Each time you want to buy something just note it down then look online reviews, ask other mums what they think and go check it on stores rather than buying now.

I know you feel like you need to get prepared but scared if something would happen. It 's scary and you cannot foresee what would come but you can plan ahead. And if you feel like you need to buy something just buy something small (I got a set of pacifiers for her when I was just 10-11 weeks pregnant which she didn't use at the end ). So buy bibs, onesies, muslin cloths but don't go crazy. Just to keep your urges in control, buy something that will definitely be used or you won't loose money if it's not used (you can make a list for that!).

And by lists, you can take screenshots of what you want and put it in a designated folder, you can write them down, make Amazon wishlists, draw, whatever works for you. Just get it out of your system!

You may have heard from many other mums that time will pass so quickly, you won't even remember how was being pregnant. That's true, it does fly when you're focusing on your sweet LO but then again I remember how I felt, how anxious I was and I was always looking for ways to reassure me. So it'll pass, hang in there and find ways to relax yourself. A relaxed mummy makes relaxed babies and you'd definitly want a relaxed baby

Hoping you the best on your journey from the bottom of my heart!

Kisses and hugs from a 18 mo mum, who still makes her lo sleep in a travel cot as she couldn't decide on a crib... (JK she loves sleeping there so we didn't bother )

[FiiFii93]

Hi!

I'm kinda in the same boat as you... I am currently 7 weeks and don't really want to think about getting anything for the baby in case anything does happen. My partner and I are just trying to stay positive and going week by week. I can't wait for the 12 week scan. I feel it will all sink in then once we hear its little heartbeat!

I'm trying to stay stress free after moving to a new city and my partner opening up a pub, and planning a wedding too which we agreed to postpone another year!

I think my advice would to be a positive as you can and make a list of the things you want to buy so it's not all rolling around in your head as much. I am a big over thinker and making lists helps me to focus.

I'm very grateful that morning sickness hasn't hit me too bad... getting some nausea here and there but we have a whole house to unpack and think about a new pub too as we live above it!

Good luck!! Exciting times lie ahead!