40w and no induction yet

[Migram]

Hi all, I am 40w today and the midwife offered memb. sweep at 41w+2.

What if I don’t want to wait for so long?Why I can’t be induced earlier?!I am so frustrated…( UK based).

Nothing at home works to go to labour.. tried everything.

[Jess1981]

I believe it's the mothers choice entirely how she chooses to birth her baby. That's what the midwife told me. I asked to be induced and my midwife said that would be fine but if need do get a consultant to agree it as legally she couldn't. I was induced at :39 weeks. But my baby was measuring very big so that might be why they agreed! Maybe you could call maternity and see if you can get an appointment to see a consultant to agree induction if that is what too want 🙂 good luck with it all Xx

[Migram in reply to Jess1981]

Thank you for your reply.

Yesterday when I asked her what if I want to be Induced before 41 weeks? She replied that the protocol in uk is to do the first membrane sweep at 40w plus 10 days.my baby is back to back and she said slightly bigger. So after her visit I am looking now for Acupuncture to induce the labour.I feel that I don’t have a voice here…Just waiting like an idiot for days to pass.( sorry for the language).

[Seb9]

Is there any medical reason that you want to have interventions like an induction over going into spontaneous labour?

If your pregnancy is low risk and there's no medical need for intervention then you probably wouldn't be offered an induction as they come with their own set of risks, which you'd need to decide if it was right for you. Inductions can mean you're more likely to have need further assistance like ventouse or C-section.

It's quite normal to do over your due date and quite often inductions for low risk pregnancies can go to up to 42 weeks, which I'm sure feels like forever when you're waiting for a baby.

I've had two inductions and while they're were very positive experiences, I had to have them because of slow growth and gestational diabetes. I definitely would have opted for spontaneous labour if I could have.

It might be best to speak to your midwife about your concerns and see if they can offer you some reassurance and advise on your next steps.

I found using the BRAIN acronym really helpful and a way for me to advocate for my needs. You could do one for both waiting until spontaneous labour and for induction, then when you speak to your midwife you can explain why what you've have chosen is best and advocate for yourself.

Benefits - What are the benefits to your and baby?

Risks - what are the risks associated with the choice?

Alternative - Is there another way?

Intuition - What you feel is best to do?

Nothing - What happens if you do nothing?

Good luck with it.

[Migram]

Thank you Seb9.

I want to have the baby before 41w as his bones on skull will be firmer and as he is back to back will my labour could be long /painful or he could stuck there and that makes me very anxious for rushing for c section . Also I don’t want to be in hours of labour and at the end end up with c section if things are not progressing due to the factors that I mentioned.

I am 37y and my pelvic bones are not so flexible as sb who is 20y for example.

I would love to have spontaneous birth but who can guarantee that it will start before41w ?

My midwife was straight forward that she will come to visit me next Tuesday and that’s it.

Also I don’t understand when she measured me with the tape and it was39cm why she is not refer me for an ultrasound?We haven’t seen the baby since 36w.

I asked her if I can be referred and she replied there are no risk factors to refer you. I feel frustrated and like I don’t have control of my situation at all.

[Ell493 in reply to Migram]

I feel frustrated for you. It's worrisome. You should be having more ultrasounds. My doctor said it's higher risk after 35 years old. Can you find doctor to help you?

[Migram in reply to Ell493]

Thank you for understanding EII493.

This is what I mentioned to midwife that I am 37, still it wasn’t a worry for her protocol. I booked a private ultrasound today to check the baby.

[Ell493 in reply to Migram]

Oh good! I hope everything is well 💕

[Seb9]

It's probably a good idea to speak to your midwife about your concerns about baby being back to back and their skull bones. I don't think babies skulls firm up for quite a while after birth like several months. They have very soft skulls and the skull is not fused to allow for them to come out.

If you're very concerned about the back to back and skull bones, and ending up with an unplanned C-section you could always request an elective C-section. Your midwife will talk you through your concerns but if you want a C-section you may need to be fairly firm in your wishes and advocate for yourself.

I found a good hypnobirthing book that helped me a lot, I used more of the advice on advocating for myself than any of the breathing or relaxation techniques, because of that I felt far more in control at my second induction. I didn't end up feeling rushed and my daughters birth was amazing.

The hypnobirthing book also helps with being prepared for changes in scenarios, such as spontaneous labour, ending in a C-section so that you know what you're ideal scenario is, but that you're prepared for any changes to that and able to adjust to a new scenario with confidence and control. So if you did end up needing a C-section, you could still ask for your needs to be met like delayed cord clamping, immediately skin to skin, for no unnecessary chatting or your playlist of music playing etc.

[Migram]

Thank you Seb9 for taking time to reply.

I spoke to her about my concerns when she visited me on Tuesday ( I was 40w) but she said our policy in uk is to induce 40+10 days. So my concerns are not an indication for her to refer me for induction.

I don’t want a a cection I just want to give birth before41w .Baby is fully developed now.

As the days pass his bones will become stronger and firmer on skull and I am afraid that I will end up with a cection after so long..Thank you for hypnobirthing techniques. I had my hypnobirthing course and really enjoyed it.I meditate every day but since I reached 40w it’s true that I can’t relax and think about labour every day. Looking into natural ways of inducing labour at home now. I will keep them trying.. what else can I do… I was looking into accupanture as well .Thinking to book an appointment and try.

[KiboXX in reply to Migram]

Just wanted to give you a little bit of reassurance regarding back to back births . My first was back to back and despite my best efforts during labour she wouldn’t turn and I still had a natural birth with just gas and air. I was 35 at the time.

I’ve had one induction and one spontaneous natural labour and I much preferred going into labour naturally. If I could choose, I would absolutely pick that although my induction experience was a positive one.

Wishing you the best of luck xxx

[Migram in reply to KiboXX]

Thank you KiboXX for your reply. And thank you for telling me your positive experience with back to back labour.

I also more than anything wish to go to spontaneous labour. 40w+1 today. I think by telling me the date from the beginning of my pregnancy that it’s going to happen on the 28/9 my mindset was there all the past months.Now it’s obviously making me stress every day while I pass more and more that date. Plus my parents are doctors ( live in another country ) and I have extra pressure..

[Migram]

*acupuncture

[Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

I also wanted to add that both of mine were back to back spontaneous labours both after 40 weeks. No sweeps or any form of intervention and there were no issues with either births. Both in my 30s and their skulls are soft for so long afterwards it doesn't happen over night or even over a few weeks. Also its worth being aware that nhs dates are frequently wrong. My 2nd arrived at 41w 2 according to the nhs and she still had the little hairs over her body more related to being early and also because I had been tracking when I ovulated I knew it was wrong. I guess this is why hypnobirthing teach its a birthing month not a specific day or week. Baby knows when they are ready to come but you do need to relax for it. Can you contact your hypnobirthing instructor ours offered sessions to help relax nearer the birth if needed?

[Migram in reply to Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

Goid morning Claire, thank you so much for taking time to comment. I feel better now knowing that you had also baby after 40w.

Thank you for reassuring that baby’s skulls are still soft at that time. (My parents really stressed me up yesterday by telling me all these info. )

I will contact my hypnobirthing instructor today and ask her for mp3 for the final days.Thank you for reminding me that is not about “the date” , I mean I knew it, I was so happy and positive when I did the course in my 8month. I need to change again my mindset. I will do my best for me and the baby🙏🏻

Have a lovely day.

[Emdog87]

Morning, just reading your comments about the concern of giving birth as the head will be fully developed. I had my 2nd at 40 weeks plus 15 days, she didn’t want to move. I had the sweep and in the end they broke my waters. But my labour was fine with her, all natural with no interventions and she weighed 9ib 3,

I know it’s frustrating at this stage. It’s not fair that the midwife won’t give you a sweep now though. With my first I had a sweep at 39 weeks but with my 2nd they only offered at 41 weeks.

Good luck xx

[Migram in reply to Emdog87]

Goid morning Emdog87, thank so much for taking time to reply.

Wow! Well done!Such a positive experience. I can’t imagine how frustrated you we’re waiting and waiting for 15days. But what a lovely ending to this waiting!

(Same I don’t understand why after 40w they don’t offer at least a sweep. )

I hope I will go to labour spontaneously soon🙏🏻.

[Emdog87 in reply to Migram]

Some babies just don’t want to move, but the advice I had was to try and start labour was just keep moving - walking, also going up flights of stairs (slowly) but try doing 2 stairs at a time to try and open your pelvis. Also try to spend more time standing that will help baby put more pressure on your cervix - gravity is your best friend at the minute. Sadly it didn’t work for me, but that was the advice I was told. It did help me dilate though so at least I didn’t need to be induced, I just had my waters broken but my body did the rest.

Good luck. X

[Migram in reply to Emdog87]

Thank you for your suggestions!

I guess my baby like to be back to back. When I do my exercises he is just still. As soon as I stop and stand or sit that’s it, he becomes very active again.

I do walk every day but around 30 min, the pressure down there and urge to pee is what makes me want to go back home soon. We have stairs at home but I didn’t know the trick going up two by two. I was going upstairs like side by side, step by step.

Very good progress at the end for your delivery! Well done !

[Bella_Bee in reply to Migram]

This has nothing to do with anything but you've reminded me of all the worry I used to feel when I didn't feel the baby move for a bit. It was mostly when I was on the move. He would then have a dance party at 3am. Get used to it for your 4th trimester. 😁

I chose an elective c section and was quite firm about it but I get what you're saying about feeling like you dont have a voice or fighting for your choices. I hope all the wonderful replies have reassured you and that all goes brilliantly. ❤️

[Migram in reply to Bella_Bee]

Thank you very much for your support Bella_Bee.

[Bigblueskies]

Hi Migram

Just to add to all the great replies, I had my second baby after 40 years old and he would just not come when he was due. He finally arrived at 41+2 weeks literally hours before I was so fed up I was going for a c section. I never wanted to have induction interventions, it was either a birth at home or a c section for me.

My labour was at home and it took 3 hours, my baby was huge at 10lb 5oz but I had no tears or any complication and I needed no pain relief. I was 42 years old. I was so nervous that it would be difficult but it was easier than my daughter who arrived at 39.5 weeks normal-sized, 2 years earlier.

But I do empathise with being fed up being pregnant and wanting to have the baby soon! I remember that well. It is a matter of days and each one feels like a month.

Please don’t worry about the size of the baby or the skull bones. But if you are really fed up being pregnant then you can go into hospital any time and ask them for an induction there and then. Your midwife doesn’t have to approve it in advance or anything. However if your baby is still not in a birthing position it might just mean that they are not ready quite to be born, which might make it all a bit longer and more painful for you.

It is completely your choice when and how you give birth but the last thing you need right now is information that makes you more and more nervous of the birth as the baby is growing. Our bodies tend to grow the babies they can birth, not always but generally.

Good luck, I hope it all goes well! ☺️

[Migram in reply to Bigblueskies]

Hi Bigblueskies, thank you for your reply.Your story is so inspiring and encouraging for me! Thank you for writing it down.

Ok I will try to relax and if I will reach “that” point I will go to the hospital.I really hope my body will go into labour by itself and he will make his appearance while I am calm and not stressed and afraid.

Have a lovely day.

[Sparklylife]

I would discuss your thoughts and questions with them and see what they say. They may have reasons.. you may have reasons. But you need to voice your wishes.

Wishing you all the best!! 🧡

[Migram in reply to Sparklylife]

Thank you Sparkylife! My next appointment is next Tuesday, I will be 40+6days. I already asked her when she came to visit me this Tuesday and she said there is no indication for induction now.

I explained my concerns and even asked her to refer me for ultrasound to check baby’s weight and she again replied I can’t refer you. Everything is normal from her side.

I will update …Have a great day!

[Sparklylife in reply to Migram]

Oh I am sorry they are not listening to you properly! At least like you say - do an ultrasound for your peace of mind! And then maybe would be easier to accept their reasons.

I hope you are ok! And hopefully labour will come on for you soon! In the meantime - maybe a good old romcom or comedy on Netflix! A curry and good old dance around the kitchen! Hopefully your little one is here safe and sound soon! Xx

[Migram in reply to Sparklylife]

Thank you, yes at least an ultrasound! To see him , to tell me his weight, the function of placenta… Why is so hard? Is it better to live in agony for me everyday and just wait for the sweep at 41w…I honestly don’t understand…

I put some music today and hypnobirthing meditation mp3, bounced on my birthing ball and went for a long walk. Tomorrow I will call and book an appointment with acupuncture.Maybe it will work🙌

Have a lovely evening.

[DancingFrog in reply to Migram]

Just so you know it’s not recommended to bounce on the birthing ball but to just rotate your hips around whilst sitting on it (in circles, back and forth, spelling out letters etc), this helps baby’s head engage on the cervix properly which produces more oxytocin which is needed for labour. I really wouldn’t set your heart on the 40 week date, it really is just a guideline as every woman is completely different, we all have different cycles so babies are always going to come at different times and it’s very often for that to be at 41 weeks or 42 weeks. Definitely don’t listen to those who are scare mongering you with stories of skull bones hardening and placenta failing, your body knows exactly what it needs to do to keep your baby safe until it’s ready to make its appearance. Maybe try looking into some affirmations to give you some self confidence, such as “I trust that all will unfold in the way it is attended to be”, “my body is designed to give birth”, those types of things. Don’t forget induced labours sometimes have a higher chance of needing interventions such as forceps delivery etc, so if you can be patient with yourself it really will be the best for yourself and your baby to let nature take its course. I hope your baby makes an appearance soon and that it all goes safely and calmly.

[Migram in reply to DancingFrog]

Thank you so much! I feel so much better after my reflexology session today! So relaxed 🙏🏻

[Migram]

All the comments made me feel so much better about my “delay”. I was reading them this morning and started to cry… the empathy 🥹💕

I feel so grateful for all your positive posts.

I will definitely update you how the things will go with my first (back to baby boy) who didn’t come on 28/09 but received so many positive thoughts for a safe delivery.🙏🏻

[Ell493]

You shouldn't be going this long. It can be dangerous. My cousin almost lost her baby due to swallowing meconium at 41 weeks. I would tell her you insist on being induced now. Stand up to her.