I'm incredibly frustrated and disappointed with the NHS. I've been travelling for work for years (whilst still paying all of my taxes - currently 40%+ in the UK) and didn't know things had gotten so bad. The midwives discharged us sharpish after 2 visits. The health visitor has been ONCE 6 weeks ago and now the only number they've given me has a full mailbox and nobody picks up EVER. The GP is still not doing face to face visits (WTAF?!)
My 7 week old boy has been crying so much these last 2 weeks between 6pm and 10pm and fussing a lot after most feeds. He arches his back and stretches out his little legs too. No vomit, very little spit up, no rash, no diarrhea, putting on weight very nicely (in fact he's becoming a little porker), sleeps well at night (doing 6hr stretches - ssshhhh don't jinx us) so I'm reluctant to think it's reflux or lactose intolerance. Infacol is helping somewhat making him super farty and has improved his crying but I just don't know if I'm on the right path. Maybe it is something else and I'm not doing anything to help him. What a horrid feeling. He's on aptamil organic exclusively.
I just want someone to watch him feed and go through his symptoms or lack of and tell me what's what. So fck it, I'll go private now that the nhs is offering me absolutely no support whatsoever (this on top of a HORRID birth experience). Any recommendations by PM please. Also, has anyone bought private health insurance for their newborns? Thinking of going that way if this is how healthcare is now. Looks like the tories got what they wanted and they did truly decimate the NHS forcing us to go private. Sigh..
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Bella_Bee
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Sounds like your local services deffo have room for improvement, I’m sorry you feeling let down 😞 it’s certainly not like that where I am at the mo.
I think before you go down the route of private assessments etc you should perhaps rule a few things out. You say infacol is making a difference so perhaps it is trapped wind. My first thoughts are maybe a change of formula would help. They don’t all suit every baby and recipes do vary ever so slightly. I care for a baby who started off on cow and gate but that caused issues so the switch to aptamil was made and he was fine on that.
I think at the moment you need to be forceful with the nhs, have you had your postnatal check? Baby must also be due his 6-8week check which has to be done by a gp so that’s a good opportunity to voice your concerns xx
I hate to say, but reading through his symptoms it sounds super normal for a baby his age.Their little tummies are only just having food for the first time and it takes a while especially with wind and colic for them to settle down.
Especially if he's sleeping well, it's probably just a case of riding it out, reflux or silent reflux, you'd have way more vomit and sleep is impossible because as soon as they're flat they're in pain.
Both mine were breastfed and we had exactly the same, so it's not even a boob/formula issue.
My first we walked around with every evening while she screamed, second wasn't as bad fortunately.
It took till about 12 weeks for out to calm down.
With bottle feeding , you could just try checking your teats and making sure they're the slowest available so baby does have to work a bit harder to drink, if you're not already you could try pace feeding and sitting them quite upright. Pace feeding mimics breastfeeding, so that they get the milk a lot slower, bottles tend to be easier for them to guzzle too much at a time.
I've known two babies with Lactose intolerance and they've both had more symptoms than you've described they had very green mucus nappies, very slimey where the gut produces mucus to try and protect itself, they've had terrible skin, ecxma, scaly and irritated and the crying was something else, they were bright red and in a fury all the time. Both mums were breastfeeding and they cut out, dairy, eggs and soya and babies skin and crying got so much better. If you're bottle feeding the doctors can prescribe dairy free milk if baby does develop any more symptoms and you want to tri going down that route.
If you're on Facebook, I've found other mums much more helpful than doctors or the health visitors. I've only seen the health visit once and weighed baby twice with my second.
The nappy lady pregnancy and parenting page is full of really lovely helpful mums and it's not all cloth nappy related talk. There might be mums who have had the same as you and can advise you more.
12 weeks from when it started or 12 weeks of age? Super important distinction!!! Dont think i can last another 10 weeks, nevermind the poor little one 😁😁😁
Thank you for your response hun. Super helpful. I'll check out those Facebook pages. It's just so disappointing that there is no professional support and we have to rely on the kindness of strangers.
12 weeks from birth, thank goodness!! I think the stuff I read the first time round, PURPLE crying best covered what I was going through. I think when we used to raise babies in the past you had so much more family and friends support, it takes a village and all that, but now there's been this push , that we should all be so independent and spring back to our normal selves with kids just slotting in.
If you ask for help you look like you're not doing well.
When really we don't have the first clue what the first few weeks of having a baby looks like, apart from fake Instagram perfection!!!
Don't get me wrong doctors and health visitors have a really important place but I have learned most about babies natural development from other Mums and Grandma's in real life and on the net.
Good luck, it does pass and eventually you look back and it seems like such a wonderful time, you go wild and decide to do it again 😉
Hi Bella, I’m having a similar experience, my son is 9 weeks with awful acid reflux. I added my son to the policy my work offers (I appreciate I’m very lucky) and we’re seeing a specialist next week. You need a paediatric gastroenterologist who is willing to see infants. Happy to share details of the one I’m seeing after next Monday when I’ve seen them.
The support for women post childbirth is pretty dire. Im lucky I can afford to access private care but after depression, a tongue tie, a failed breastfeeding journey, and a recurring c section infection which my GP doesn’t seem to give a crap about, I feel pretty let down and fear for those women stuck for months chasing down help. I’ll be writing to my MP to describe in detail how bad things are, if just to make myself feel a little better…x
Ohhhh this sounds similar to my little boy twin! He’s also 7 weeks and we had to go private as we just weren’t getting anywhere with the GPs, HV or midwives. They said his symptoms would pass but I knew they weren’t normal and okay… i had his twin sister to compare him with!
He was diagnosed with a cows milk allergy, severe reflux and tongue tie. His symptoms were very severe, he would choke to the point we’d call 111 and once almost an ambulance. His breathing becomes very laboured, he throws up his feed, he didn’t poop for days and was crying (still does a lot of the time) all day, sometimes everyday. Pulling his knees to his belly, not sleeping because he was so distressed. His skin was incredibly dry and he was losing weight.
We are taking him to the doctors Friday for other symptoms that are still causing him distress (finally found a doctor that would listen and is happy to write us a referral). I found perseverance with doctors has helped us get the help we need.
You know your baby best, and whilst colic can be common, there may be things you can do to help him. I use infalcol and pro-biotics too. I can’t say if they help but his change in milk (he’s on prescribed DF milk) has helped somewhat.
I haven’t managed to read the other replies but mine is/was the same. She wouldn’t let us out her down between 6-‘midnight. Fine during the day etc. it’s the witching hours apparently. She seems to have turned a corner from Friday. Hang on in there, hopefully only a few more days for you as I know youre about a week behind me. Excuse typos abs grammar, hopefully you get the gist. Trying to juggle my 8 weeks old.
We found that the premade aptamil helped a lot (rather than making up a bottle with powder) also bicycle legs lots and winding. It does pass though and when I looked it up seemed common for that age. I was hitting a brick wall getting help for sons eczema recently so I feel your pain on the healthcare system front but I managed to get a GP appointment after phoning constantly for weeks and messaging health visitor. Perhaps contacting your local MP about the health visitor not giving you working contact details would be an idea? It’s different every health board I’ve found but their visits are few and far between but if I text mine she does respond between 1-3 days later so they should give you a way to get in touch!! You should have ab 8 week assessment coming up (you and baby) although mine was over the phone but at least a chance to discuss. I hope it calms down soon 🤗 xx
I think that sounds normal if it’s just between those hours in the evening. My little boy had reflux and it was all day/night. It was worse during those hours but my NCT group used to refer to it as the witching hours and all of them did it. If it’s only just started, it could be a leap? Look up wonder weeks, it’s eerily accurate give or take a week or so either side. My little boy’s started on his birth date rather than his due date.
It sounds like normal colic at that age. For us it worked very well putting her down for the night a bit earlier, around 7pm. She was way less fussy and calm when left alone to sleep.
My baby was the same I was so scared for her and she had constantly different poo and even blood in her stool...I was told its colic...I stopped eat food what makes babies gassy and started to give my baby gaia probiotics it helped her with reflux and with her poo...and gave her simeticone as well I stopped drink milk...we had still problems but she definitely felt little relief...even now when she started solid food she had problems with her tummy....so I still carry on with gaia and simeticone
Arching back and traumatic birth - sounds like the perfect job for a Cranial Osteopath. They honestly work wonders - my boy was the same and it was magic! X
Buy some gripe water - in our experience it’s vastly better than infacol and if that’s already making a difference it’s likely it is just some colic which this will help immensely with.
Update: so the pediatrician told me (8 week check up) it's most likely a case of silent reflux (given no vomit, ever really) but that if the crying was tolerable not to start him on baby gaviscon given potential side effects. I'm even more confused than before. My boy definitely has issues with feeding given his crying after most feeds and arching his back but there will be days when he will burp immediately then be absolutely fine. He is happy spending all day cooing and smiling and playing on his back. No bad breath, no vomit, eats well (always wants more but he's already on 5 ounces ×6 in 24hrs), sleeps better than ever, has put on weight nicely. He does hiccup around 3 times a day though. Is that a lot? Interestingly, his one nighttime feed at 3am is always without any problems. I actually look forward to waking up for it.
So assuming it is silent reflux, do you have any tips that can help?
He's already:
feeding sitting up practically
sleeping on a slight incline
getting burped a lot (though he fckn hates it)
I hold him up for 20mins after his feeds
He's often on a swinger at home with his back @ 45 degrees
Taking infacol before most feeds and gripe water after if he's particularly irritable. I feel like infacol might be helping but then we will have an awful day which feels like 10 steps back
What am I missing? Osteopath? Probiotic drops? Does anyone have experience of either?
We have had such an awful day. He had his first vaccines at 4pm and has been crying ever since because of them I assume. But even before every single feed was very difficult. I'm soooo worn down by it. I've held my baby screaming, purple in the face, for around 4 hours in total today. Good god, this is hard.
You're honestly doing everything you can and it's really normal baby behaviour. You can spend all the money on infacol, gripe water, osteopathy etc and they'll still cry. Unless it's really horrendous reflux and you need to use the baby Gaviscon he'll just grow out of it. It really sucks and it is the hardest thing to get through, but it just gets less and less as the weeks go on.
Can you get anyone to help you so you can get a break? The lack of sleep and crying nearly broke me, with my first. I told my husband I thought I'd had a stroke one afternoon ,because I was so tired I couldn't send a text message because the words were all jumbled. I was ready for him to take me to the hospital, but he convinced me to try a little nap first.
Cheers hun. I'm flying solo so not really though my parents are an enormous help during most days. It's the mindfuck of it all and enduring the screaming that I hate the most. The physical side of managing a baby is a walk in the park. Thank you for your message though, really. I really needed to hear some comforting words after such a shit day. Xxx
Bloody hell, You're doing amazing to be doing this by yourself. I found it incredibly tough those first few weeks. I used to put baby in a sling and just bounce up and down in front of the TV, I would have lost loads of weight if I hadn't been eating 2 packs of chocolate hobnobs ever day stress eating!
I did find that Gnarls Barclay, Crazy music video on YouTube, was like hypnosis to my baby and played on repeat I could drink nearly a whole cup of coffee in between crying.
Taking her outside also used to help sometimes, the change in temperature and different lighting.
Have you looked at a maternity nanny or nurse? They might be able to come and give you a break overnight or just in the evening, so you can get some decent rest. Self care is so important, your resilience gets so low when your exhausted. Are you going to any baby groups yet? I went to baby sensory and swimming from about 5 weeks with baby and talking to other knackered mums was so cathartic, and some I've even stayed friends with who I really got in with, we were the ones who went for coffee and cake after classes😀
Good luck and it will get better, my 2nd is now nearly 8 months weaning and sitting up and I'm only now admittingto myself i don't have a newborn anymore! They change so fast.
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Am i being mean?
My 14+ month old boy is waking constantly in the night and crying out. He's fine after I put the dummy back in his mouth. I'm sooo tierd. 
Breast feeding emotions
Anyone else having problems with their other halves taking time off work?
