Expressing / breastfeeding / formula

[Sandytoes20]

Hi, I am a first time mum to a beautiful little girl who is about to turn 3 months old. I exclusively breastfed until she was 8 weeks old and then began to introduce a bottle with expressed milk. It started off with one a day (usually at night before bed) and then slowly increased to 2-3 a day. I mainly wanted to give expressed milk in a bottle to see how much she was getting as although she is putting on weight and has wet and dry nappies, she was dropping percentiles more than I would like and not being able to see my health visitor or family has made it a lot harder and I’ve questioned a lot about what I’m doing and if she’s getting enough,

Overall she is a very happy baby, but I am struggling emotionally with breastfeeding/expressing. Some days I find it hard to express and can only get a few ounces which makes me stressed, frustrated and worried she isn’t getting enough. I also find the length of time she is on the boob quite hard sometimes and get stressed and irritable when I can’t move or if my back starts to hurt.

I would LOVE to carry on breastfeeding/expressing as much as possible to give her the best natural nutrition possible, but am considering introducing a formula bottle 1-2 times a day to top her up and to try and help my stress/frustration levels.

I feel quite alone with it all, especially not being able to meet new mums in the early stages and would love to hear if anyone has any advice and helpful tips.

Thank you in advance for helping me!

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Its so tough, I have just decide to give in to the hours I spend on sofa, I can't even really watch TV as I need to keep and eye on my girls reflux and latch... The hours surprisingly fly by with very little else done!

Remember the baby is much more efficient at getting milk out than the pump. So the pumping is not necessarily a sign of your supply. Also what time of day are you pumping might effect it. How much has she dropped in percentiles, is it really that much of a concern? I know the HV etc can stress out mums etc with weight...

Out of interest can you not move because she kicks off if you move and she falls off? Or is it the position you feed in? I do cross cradle and sometimes try and get up and walk about a bit - it takes practice, I have to do laid back for the first part of feed because of fast let down.

Have you tried the breastfeeding helplines- NCT and national breastfeeding?

There's nothing wrong with formula, but do whatever is best for you and baby, and feel comfortable. combination feeding is a good option in my opinion. I find 1 bottle of formula and the breast BF much easier than what I was doing intially which was 2-3 bottles expressed and the rest BF

Good luck!

[Seb9]

I think the first four months are the hardest when breastfeeding, as they get bigger and feed more efficiently and can hold more they go for longer during feeds, I also think lock down doesn't help as there's no distraction, we did swimming and baby sensory in those first few months and it was a break from just feeding, changing, sleeping.

I've never really expressed much, I never really enjoyed it or could find the time to do it, so we just used little ready made bottles for the occasional bottle. I figured if I was breastfeeding 99% of the time a bottle every few weeks wouldn't be a, bad thing, when I've got friends whose babies are on formula fill time and they're doing great, I don't see formula as a terrible thing, it's just that breast milk is convenient, free and tailor made for my baby and we've had a really easy breastfeeding journey luckily.

Now my baby is 10 months, she only feeds maybe twice in the day and twice at night, and now I love those times when she wants to sit with me and snuggle up for a feed.

Hope you find what works best for you guys x

[MissAP in reply to Seb9]

Interesting about an occasional formula bottle. I might try that, not a bad idea. thanks x

[GemX81]

You have to do with whatever you feel comfortable with. My first Son I ended up exclusively bottle feeding. I had wanted to breastfeed but my nipples are flat and he struggled to latch. He had trouble regulating his blood sugar at birth because of drugs I had been on to lower my blood pressure so we ended up bottle feeding. I tried expressing and topping up with formula but then I got a terrible infection and had to go on 2 different antibiotics which affect breast milk. Which I also needed 2 courses of. I tried to keep pumping to maintain supply but with coping being a first time mum and keeping track of when to take antibiotics something had to give and I stopped expressing. My little boy is now 5 and did great on formula.

My second one I decided to combination feed. He would have a mix of expressed feeds and formula and that worked great for the first few months and then we just decided to go for formula exclusively. And he's now a running around, chaos causing 13 month old! There are pros and cons to both but I think you just need to work out what's best for you and will work for your family.

[MissAP]

I feel your pain. I have also been exclusively BF my 14 week old and am forever wondering whether he is getting enough. He is also dropping percentiles. was bang in between 50th and 75th until week 9 and then dropped to bang on 50th for another 4 weeks only to drop below 50th this week (week 14). it is also the very first week he has not put on weight at all. Coincidentally I had to cut dairy out of my diet from week 9 as the dietician suspected an allergy and suggested cow's milk first. It did help my LO being less windy and sleeping better but his poops are still pretty much the same very watery and explosive and I wonder whether that might be to blame for his poor weight gain and not my milk or diet. The dietician suspects another food item might be causing his poops being so watery and explosive and is now proposing that I cut wheat out as well. She is also not concerned about his weight and says that we shouldn't weight him every week but once a month instead.

It is all becoming a little too overwhelming now for me and I'm now seriously considering how to go forward as I already feel I am sofa bound with my LO feeding on demand sometimes every 1.5h during the day and also the diet changes, it's hard enough with no dairy, I now have to make up a plan to cut wheat out as well and potentially eggs - it really is hard.

I also express milk for his night bottle and lately he has been downing 210ml no problem, which makes me wonder why he's not gaining much weight if he goes through so much in one sitting. So then I worry that he might not be getting quite enough during the day. Although both our HV and the dietician say that he is definitely getting enough milk and if he needs more he will feed for longer.

With expressing I find I can only express a large amount first thing in the morning as I last feed around 9pm, then he has a bottle in the middle of the night and then I feed him again at around 6-7am, which is when he is satisfied with one boob only and I express the whole lot from the other which makes about 120-180ml in one sitting. I use Spectra S1 pump which I found extremely good as compared with my first silicon pump that was only able to express about 50ml from the same boob at the same time in the morning, Spectra gives me about 100ml more and less stress during the day to express more. I still express a little more during the next two feeds (this time with the silicon pump whilst feeding for the easy of it) to make around 210-240ml a day. I was never ale to express much in the afternoon/evening and this is when I always give him both boobs to make sure he had enough.

I am now considering quitting the night bottle and only feeding from the boob as the bottle is that extra hassle to warm it up in the middle of the night and was only introduced to get my LO used to feeding from both bottle and boob. Now that that's established I think I need to make my life a little easier as I honestly now feel like a milk machine! I have some frozen milk but I do like Seb9 idea of giving an occasional formula bottle when being out and about. I might consider that going forward to make the whole process less stressful.

So as you can see you are not alone with your struggles. It really is not easy and each baby is different so it's very hard to compare one to another. I guess the key is to find something to make your life a little easier as frustration does not help anything. And don't beat yourself up about introducing formula - bottle or breast you're the best!!!

xx

[Sandytoes20 in reply to MissAP]

It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, although I wish neither of us had these worries or concerns. Ours started out on the 50th and remained on that for 2 weigh ins, dropped to 25th and now sits on 9th. I think I’m going to introduce a bottle of formula a day to start with, just to see if it makes any difference to her weight gain and sleep blocks. She was so good at sleeping with 6-9hr blocks at night, but now I’m lucky if I get 2hrs before she wants comforting or feeding. I hope your journey goes ok and your change in diet helps. Take the little wins where we can 🥰

[Music1]

I must say, it's the hardest thing I've done (Breastfeeding). I have hypothyroidism and used to worry non stop about whether little one was getting enough milk etc.

I was always told 'what you express will never be similar to what they can drink. They can drink so much more as they are more effective. Also, I would get more at different times of the day. Drink plenty of water, snack a lot, watch lots of Netflix and just get comfortable and try to enjoy the time spent together. It's hard when you feel uncomfortable or just feel like you should be doing something else or worrying how much they are or should be drinking etc. I wish someone had told me to 'let them drink when they want. Don't worry over how much or how long for, don't keep a record of what breast how long and timings etc'. It will stress you out too much and in the end I couldn't wait to throw it all away. It meant nothing.

In the end (at 5 months) I ended up breastfeeding twice a day and bottle feeding once to supplement and top up anything he wasn't getting. I used to pump after just to maintain the milk. He started to put on weight. I felt sooooo guilty. However, he loves his bottle milk. Daddy used to heat up the 'expressed milk' too much so he wouldn't drink it. Then it would get tipped away and I'd start again. Everyone I knew was bottle feeding so I had no advice either.

Please don't be hard on yourself. I can honestly say "It's the hardest thing I've ever done" and I've been through and experienced a lot. Nobody will fully understand. I went to BF forums, meetings and all sorts. Many women just said 'they had too much milk' which would make me worry more. I had a whole list of questions once and the woman couldn't answer any of them. You are doing your best and at the end of the day percentiles don't mean much - just enjoy bonding. You'll never get the time back. I wish I hadn't over stressed as much as I did. My Health Visitor just thought I was close to a mental health breakdown and all I wanted was some reassurance and answers. None of which I got from her. Best wishes. You're doing an incredible job xx

[Cheekymunchkins]

I really think better to spend more time breast feeding than pumping which has always felt like a waste of time. I gave mine formula between months 3 and 5 and then phased it out again. Sometimes it’s easy to just offer a bottle, they maybe gulp it down and you know they’re nice and full. Give yourself and your boobs a break for a few hours. It really doesn’t have to be all or nothing it’s not going to hurt either one of you. Stick them on a boppy to nurse also I think it helps you both feel comfy and in a nice position. And honestly I wouldn’t stress too much if you say she’s a happy baby then she’s most likely not hungry.

Watch some good movies, cuddle up on the sofa and take some cosy time for you, and most of all don’t be hard on yourself.