my partner is obsessed by accounting, saving,o... - OCD Support

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my partner is obsessed by accounting, saving,order, lists, perfection I think he suffers from OCD how can I deal with it?

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Hi,

Although I am not a medical expert, with my knowledge and understanding of OCD I would answer yes, what you describe very much sounds like it might be OCD compulsions, but it would only be diagnosed as OCD if he had proceeding obsessive thoughts/fears and anxiety, so the first thing you can do to help him would recommend a formal assessment and diagnosis from a trained health professional, your GP should be able to make a referral through the NHS.

The good news is that if it is OCD then it can be treated, and controlled through to complete recovery. The treatment we recommend is a talking therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which is available through the NHS. CBT is sometimes used in conjunction with medication, depending on an individual situation and personal choice about taking medication.

If you need some self-help approach first for him, there are loads of resources on our website. A fantastic OCD book I would recommend for you and him is called Break Free from OCD, and is the best OCD self-help book I have read to date, this is a link to it: ocduk.org/break-free-from-ocd But of course, self-help is not the same as good therapy.

Kind regards,

Ashley

on behalf of OCD-UK

ratsone profile image
ratsone

Your partners personality maybe that they like order but also if it is affecting their life where they can't live without doing some of these things then it could be ocd. There is a point where accounting is good for you and when you do it because fear makes you.

If your personality is different then you will not want to keep lists. Try to keep what you want to do with your accounting separate from what your partner does. You don't want to be co-dependent.

If your partner is willing to make changes then see if they would see a therapist.

WarpPig profile image
WarpPig

Possibly, it could simply be his nature. His doctor ought to make the diagnosis.

If it does prove to be OCD,then it's not so much you that has to deal with it, but rather support him in dealing with it! The big thing is to give him confidence, so that his compulsions don't get in the way of things he wants to do or start to control his life. Lists, saving and so on are all good things, as are wasing your hands or checking your door is locked - OCD is when these good, healthy, sensible practices get out of hand.

lucybundle profile image
lucybundle

Hi there. Sounds a lot like OCPD - Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Try this link:

google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j...

I've recently realised that my lovely man suffers from this. I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) which means I'm terribly difficult to live with! And also ADHD, which is the polar opposite of how he is - being disorganised, messy, no time management etc - which must be absolute torture for him, as everything is planned meticulously and militantly! I think he also suffers from mild OCD (which doesn't seem to get in the way too much) but the OCPD realisation has definitely helped me a lot in how I deal with difficult situations we find ourselves in and, slowly but surely, I think it will help him to understand himself better and be able to be happier generally. I just have to remember that he does now see that things could be different for him/us (I showed him this link and asked him to do an online test), so I have to let him take things at his own pace with it and not pester him daily about how he's going to deal with it etc!!

Hope this helps :-)

Lucy.x

lucybundle profile image
lucybundle

This is the online OCPD test:

psymed.info/default.aspx?m=...

It is obviously not a diagnosis or anything, but it just might highlight your partners symptoms as something that can he can 1) recognise and see that others have these tendencies and 2) actually be seen as problematic to others (sufferers of OCPD do not tend to see there 'way of doing things' as an issue, just the most efficient way of doing things, where as it is actually extremely difficult to live or work with someone with OCPD as it is nigh impossible to live up to perfectionist expectations!)

x

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