Work issue

Hi all

New to this but not to RA -i've been diagnosed about 6 years and on the usual meds-MTX injections,naproxen,plaquenil and pain dullers.i'm normally fairly well but for the last 3 mths i've had a few flares.My problem is that although most of my workmates are fantastic there is 1 man who feels that he is in a competition re illness.He is deaf in one ear but makes snide remarks about my illness and the help my colleagues happily offer (and for which i am grateful).It's as if he is jealous of my RA!! I have to say i would happily swap with him at the moment! Any ideas how to deal with him would be gratefully recieved

Nice to meet you all

Julie p

7 Replies

Hi Julie p. Hello and welcome to the site. We all try to help each other as much as we can with the problems which arise with RA (many and varied!).

I have a friend who is similar to the man at your work. Whatever I'm suffering from, she had it the week before! The one thing she hasn't got is my RA. I would willingly give it to her. If anyone asks how I am, she then buts in with how bad she has been with headaches, colds, sore throats etc.

You could tackle him head on and ask him why he is being like this or you could just ignore it. The other way would be to get one of the very good NRAS booklets off their web site about RA and present it to him in front of your colleagues saying something along the lines of " you have shown such interest in my illness, I thought you might like to read this!"

It may be his deafness is causing him problems and he doesn't hear that well. Have you tried the sympathy approach with him at all? You know something like "It must be awful to have hearing problems - can I do anything to help you and perhaps we can help each other?" Nothing like taking the battle to the enemies camp!

Anyway, hope those suggestions help (or not - LOL). Let us know how you get on and we look forward to seeing you again on the site.

LavendarLady x


Thanks for the advice -i think a lot of people have colleagues and friends like this.He does get plenty of help with his disability ,i just think he likes being centre of attention!!

Thanks for the welcome and i hope i can contribute now i've found the site



Hi Julie, Lavender Lady,

Sorry I haven't any advice to give but wanted to butt in as I thought LL reply was great; think I'm going to be taking some of that advice myself when i go back to work, especially for the expected bitchy comments I'll go for the

" you have shown such interest in my illness, I thought you might like to read this!"

I'm glad your other colleagues are supportive, I have a fantastic lady from my HR who's supporting me going back to work (i've been on maternity so has been a year!)

Be good to hear how it goes Julie :)


Hi Julie,

I've experienced this myself so forcefully in my last job. It became so much a battle of wills that I was glad to take voluntary redundancy in the end. I could no longer manage my job physically, and no one disputed this. However, I had previously applied to Access to Work, assessed & approved for equipment. Everything became a competition, then. I personally found it hard to accept that dyslexia came under the same format as my RA, but that's how it applied where I worked.


I too am very lucky to have lots of supportive colleges but also have just the one bitch.

I work the hours my ra allows me so some days it could be six hours other days it might only be two before the pain and fatigue wins,this bitch had the cheeto tell me she should have also been able to go home as she had an Iogrowing toe nail which was making her tired cause she hadn't slept well, she was in severe pain with it and she struggled to walk , so I told her I also had an ingrowing toe nail however I'd forgotten about it because compared to my ra pain it didn't come anywere near close. It shut her up at the time but she continues to try her best I'm convinced she is jealous I may ask her if she wants my reduced pay packet, and would love to give her my suffering just for ten minutes.

Hope you find a way off sorting your bitch out even if its a male one.


have some female dogs were I work too!.. get the odd snide comment including some today.

Yes julie like you I have the reduced pay packet.. It amazes me how spiteful people can be .. I worked longer monday because we were so busy.. only an extra half an hour which was manageable. but one of them went to my manager and complained saying alison does what she likes.. so today when the patients were queueing and even though I wanted to help I left.. nose. cut and face could apply to that person..!! so spiteful we were so busy today but after that person made a big fuss about me workinG longer monday it Was s+d it!..

I wish my manager handnt toLd me I have a fair idea how it may be! but not sure

Knives in back..!


you know i consider myself really lucky to still be able to work (albeit reduced hours) and to count 99.99% of my workmates as friends.I looked at him today and actually felt quite sorry for him as he is not very popular and decided that i'm just going to smile sweetly when he makes his comments and get on with it

Really appreciate all your replies and hope you manage to sort your own work colleagues out -i didn't realise this was so common


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