An epiphany: Of course the second child will be different!!

[rmh2012]

All my life, I've listened to people musing about how different I am from my older sister, and how other second children vary from the first.

Now, mid pregnancy with my second child, I'm finally beginning to get some insight into the 'why'!

I am remembering (wistfully!) that first pregnancy ... sleeps whenever I needed them; a large glass of water in attendance wherever I sat in the house; singing in the shower to the little one on a daily basis; playing lovely music for the little one's benefit... the list goes on.

Now I compare that to my current pregnancy... my 18 month old is increasing fast on her feet, which means I am increasingly fast on my feet (despite getting bigger by the day - nay, by the minute it seems!!); every glass of water is utilised for finger painting purposes; every nap my daughter takes leads to an internal battle - should I nap? or will this be the only chance to vacuum for the next week?!; showers ... what can I say about showers ... my daughter needs to be unconscious for me to have a shower on my own, so less singing and more saying 'careful' and 'watch your feet' and 'really, that's not a bath toy'; and music ... well, instead of Clannad the new bubba will be far more familiar with the theme to Bob the Builder!

I know that my daughter responded so sweetly after her arrival to the particular song I sang daily in the shower, so I know this new baby is listening and absorbing ... but absorbing what?? I'm not quite sure what impact all of the chaos will have on the little one, but I'm sure he'll have a vastly different start in life than my daughter.

I just hope it's the laughter he hears the loudest.

R

[Againagain]

Do you know, I feel just the same! I'm 17 weeks with baby number 2 and barely remember that I'm pregnant most of the time. My daughter is 19 months and keeps me very busy. Like you say, there is no time for special songs or the all important sleep, but I like to think that our little ones are listening to the bustle of family life with all its laughter (and tantrums!) and I love the fact that the baby will know my daughter's voice already when s/he is born. When I do think about the arrival of number 2, I'm grateful that this time round we will have more confidence about what we are doing and that having a 2 year old around as well will make the whole thing less intense. This new baby might actually get used to being put down...

I hope that you're keeping well and managing to get some rest and time to yourself and the bump.

L

[rmh2012 in reply to Againagain]

Once my new bubba hit 21 weeks, I started noting distinct responses to voices, and his favourite time of day seems to be evening read on the couch with his big sister

And we've been deliberately working on a night time sleep regime that doesn't involve falling asleep on my lap or handfuls of my hair. Big time resistance for a week and a half, but responding really well now. Much easier on all of us (definitely easier on my neck!!). I'm hoping the new arrival will accommodate early bed times easier because his big sister is already in a good routine.

Time to myself and the bump ... not so much (all my family are long distance). But getting enough rest most of the time.

Congrats on #2!! Hope you enjoy the journey as much as we are. Lots of fun on the way.

R x

[jbs4333]

It makes sense why we are different from our siblings doesn't it? My sister is 16 months younger than me and, while we have lots in common, mum says our temperments have been different from day 1. We are very close but I have always been more independent - my sister was very bonded to me since the day she was born, Maybe because she could hear me like your little ones can with their big sisters!

Well I'm due in November with my first so being all vigilant with ths pregnancy - I do hope to have more though and looking forward to seeing how different it is the second time round!

[rmh2012 in reply to jbs4333]

It's amazing and a privilege to see bonds like that between you and your sister developing from scratch. A very special time.

Congratulations and good luck with your first. I'm due in November too!!

R x