friends

[Stelmick]

i have an autistic son 24 who desperately needs a friend i just don't know how to make it happen any ideas thanks

[DorrieReynolds]

Broadly, supporting friendships takes effort and time. Whatever interests and abilities your son has, use these as a basis for supporting him to find friendships with similar people. Also think about anyone at school or college your son may have connected with in the past and see if they can reconnect. Your local council may run inclusive sports or other activities which your son could join as a starting point. Mencap also may run activities in your area.

I don't know you or your son but I have experience of advising parents and I find that many parents expect friendships to just happen. They usually don't and your son may need you to transport, help to communicate and organise events/meet-ups for any friendship to start and be maintained. There may be groups near to you where you son could meet others. Here's a link which may help:

choicesupport.org.uk/about-...

With best wishes

[Galwaybay2 in reply to DorrieReynolds]

As above. Joining groups is the start of your son's own network and often the way the whole family connect to an inclusive community. This takes time, there are no shortcuts.

In our area we are lucky to have a vibrant Special Olympics group with many varied activities for all abilities. There are social groups supported by EveryoneActive, who run the local sports centre, and Mencap who organise trips. In your position I would begin by contacting the council and leisure centre and try a few things so that it's not too much at once and then persevere to give him a chance to settle. Once in, you will meet families who are a few or many steps ahead of you in the LD world, who can link you to more and later support you and your family in many ways as you come up against new things and transitional points. The first steps can be daunting, but as in all things with our children, he needs you to fight for his inclusion until he doesn't need it any more. I used to feel that my son's siblings could have everything my son could not, but now they joke that he has a better social life than they do! He really could not have found these things for himself. I saw the arc of his life the other day walking around town when we were stopping every few minutes to say hello to people he knew in shops and cafes. I joked with him that he must be someone off the telly! He just feels good about himself and his life. what more could any parent hope for? However, it has taken time to reach this level of celebrity! In the early days, making sure your son has access to as much as possible will help later when you need support and funding from social services. Best of luck.

[White25]

What area do you live in, they find it hard to make friends, is there no groups you can go to, they usually have autistic societies in some boroughs, is he living at home.

[LymeBay]

Not sure where you are but in my area there is a 'Friendship Club'. All sorts of events happen such as pubs/discos/picnics/walks. Many young adults with all sorts of abilities and disabilities attend and strong friendships have been made. Also a few romantic relationships! If you haven't already I'd put the feelers out. Either your local council, a social worker, local disability groups. Somebody may know of something in your area.

[deborahcoxsuckle]

Mencap run a small daily group for people with LD's in my town and from seeing it its a great group and friendships have developed. See if there is a Mencap group in your area.