Overwhelmed

[FeelingStressed]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and really just looking for somewhere I can talk to people that might understand how i'm feeling. I was recently told that I have chronic hep b and I just don't think i've been handling it well at all.

Honestly, i'm already quite insecure and wouldn't consider myself to be as self-confident as my friends so receiving this news really has been a blow. I'm still waiting for my detailed results to come through which will provide clarity on my viral load etc., but I just feel like i'm not going to find a man whom will accept me, knowing that I can infect them. I told some close friends about my diagnosis and they keep telling me that i'll find someone, but that's easier said than done.

I can't bring myself to approach/interact with guys because I don't want to start liking them and get rejected. My biggest fears are infecting someone else and being rejected. I feel damaged. I am certain i'll stay alone and that truly scares me. I keep hoping that the hepatologist will tell me they've made a mistake and misinterpreted/mixed up my results, but I know that's not going to happen.

I've had a look at other forums and seen posts by people who are living happy, married, lives and as happy for them as I am, I still can't help but wonder if i'll ever have that too. I'm struggling to accept this so can't see how someone else will.

Also, i've been trying to find support groups in London but haven't been able to. Does anyone on here know of any?

[Catfishjumpin]

Anyone who has had hep b vacination cannot get it from you. Its that simple. It would be a huge mistake to be involved with a man who did not understand this. We only need accountable people in our lives. But you are correct in understanding you will experience some rejection. I had hep c. I had my mother and siblings reject me. Its a lack of understanding on their part. Believe in yourself, like everyone else you will find your own way. Everyone has limitations. Feel stronger.

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Thank you for your kind words. How did you deal with the rejection? That's what i'm scared of most.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

You simply accept it. Its their limitation, not yours. It siunds simple but we respond with our hearts and it hurts. If you can accept it, you are using your brain, your ability to reason. If some treats you poorly, stay away from them. If you need to reply just say you are sorry they feel that way. Anyone who loves you that fears getting it will go get the vaccination to prevent it. I had it because I have hep c. If I contracted it, it would have shut my liver down. Google hep b. Read up on it. It will bring you peace of mind. Best wishes

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Thank you so much. As supportive as my friends and family are, it really does help to talk to someone who can empathise and understand it a little more.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

Yes I am very thankful I found this group. It keeps me reality centered. I did think of you earlier.

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Sorry, just to change the subject a little, I've had a quick look at your profile and see that you'd tried interferon. At the moment I haven't been recommended it by my hepatologist but I'd really like to take it if it will give me any chance of clearing the virus. What was your experience of it like, if you don't mind me asking?

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

Do not take interferon. I think they never offer it now. It did not kill my virus. I took it for a year. It's injections you give yourself. There are new drugs. They work. They will offer you those. They finally killed my virus. Hope that helps and is clear.

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

That's really helpful, thank you! I haven't been told about any other drugs though, so maybe they're not available in the U.K.?

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

Keep posting, I hear people being given Harvoni as well as Ribivarin. Interferon is no longer used. Where are you gettinginformation it is. It was an old treatment combined with Ribavarin. I have also heard here that people are being treatedwith Ribavarin and a drug we call Solvali but you there refer to as The medicine name. We refer it to by the maker of the product. With time you will learn lots more. Ask questions here and at your doctors. They are being paid to treat you. Its their job to help you.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Let me correctsomething, i see its hep b. Not hep c. They may give interferon injections for that combined with another drug. Interferon is never used alone. Its most often used to increase the effects of chemo drugs. Can you google the drugs used to treat hep b.

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Oh, ok. Yeah, I need to do more research on the drugs but so far I've only been told about interferon by my doctor, although it hadn't been prescribed to me. You're right, I'll keep learning more about my options and talk to others with hep b. I'm truly grateful for your help, thank you.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

Truly glad I can help you. I too will look up hep b treatments.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

Hepatitiscentral.com has a page on interferon. It is the drug used for hep b. Its called Alpha Interferon and its injections 3 times a week for four months to a year. I gave myself injections for a year, once a week. I just knew i couldn't do it but then i decided, yes I can do it. I hope you can google the hep b site

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

Oh, amazing - thank you! I'm going to check it out. Did you find it difficult having to inject it yourself?

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

My thinking was for a long time, I couldn't do it but then I made my mind up to do it. I had the nurse give me my first shot, I watched her carefully. After that I gave myself every shot. I usuallyasked some to sit with me while I did it. It must be given exactlyright, you do not want an air bubblein the syringe. I know you can do it. We are stronger and braver than we imagine. Good luck. Write any time you wish. You can also send privatemessages if its something you need to know that feels personal in nature but really here, we all know what this liver disease is like. It createsbucket loads of humility and compassion. I guess thats simply what suffering and loss does to the best of us. Some it makes mean and angry but those folks do not spend any time here. We are a pack of fighters, we fight to dig up our courage to live, to carry on in this life.

[FeelingStressed in reply to Catfishjumpin]

I really hope to be as strong-willed as you. You have truly inspired me, thank you.

[Catfishjumpin in reply to FeelingStressed]

You will be, I heard it in your first post, you were direct and honestand not afraid to say exactlyhow you felt. Aloha

[jeanjames]

I'm sorry you are feeling stressed. I wonder perhaps you need to build on your self esteem. Believe in yourself....I know easy said then done.....but have you got to loose.

Arm yourself with knowledge about your condition - go fro there.

I wish you well. Do keeping touch -I don't do rejection!

Love

Jean

xxx

[FeelingStressed in reply to jeanjames]

Thank you, Jean. I really appreciate it. I know that I need to work on re-building my self-esteem, it's definitely easier said than done as you said!

Hopefully it will get easier with time.

xx

[Lodger56]

Hi, My names Gary. I just registered on this site and I would like say I know just how you are feeling right now. I was infected in 1985 and told in 1995. I was in a relationship at that time, but I got into trouble shortly after with the police and my being infected was printed in the newspapers. My kids were subjected to abuse going too school!! Not from kids? There parents 😞. I have been single since then, that was 17yrs ago. It is difficult but don't give up hope. As other repliers said if you experience negative feedback from ANYONE! Walk away and never give them a second thought. Be patient but more importantly boost your self confidence!!! Good luck

[FeelingStressed in reply to Lodger56]

Oh my goodness, it's terrible for your children to go through that, from parents!! I'm sorry you haven't been able to find someone, Gary. Hopefully we will both find someone that will accept us and not let Hep B define who we are. Take care x