Scared of cervical screening (Virgin/suspected Vaginismus)

[SisterWinter]

Hi I'm new and hoping to get some advice or support from others like me.

I'm F29 and my friends are begging me to get a cervical screening done. I've never had one. I put it off because I didn't want the first thing in my vagina to be a medical tool.I've been with my fiance, M35 for 5 years and we are due to get married next year. We have never had vaginal penetration sex. We have other sex and have a really great sex life.

I DO want sex, I enjoy it but the idea of anything inside me, terrifys me and causes great discomfort.I have difficulty exploring my vagina, and focus only on external stimuli. We have tried to go slow and use fingers etc but I don't like it. It's not painful but it's tight and uncomfortable no matter how much lube we use. I hate it.

I realized I might have vaginismus when I googled how I felt. Does anyone else here feel the same? And if so have you had a screening done? How do you get through it. I want my partner there, cause I'm scared. it looks super invasive and I don't want a speculum in me. But cancer (cervix) runs in my family through cousins so I should be safe and do it. I'm just scared.

Any advice out there?

[Perido]

Hi

I was 10 years overdue for a smear test when I was diagnosed with a stage 2A cervical cancer in 2017. I was OK with smears when I was younger but any form of penetration became very difficult for me when I became menopausal (sadly I elected to stop going for smears). So I can very much understand and empathise with all the problems you describe around having a smear test.

Since my cervical cancer diagnosis/treatment I've thought a lot about what might have helped me through cervical screening and I've also had some professional help with problems around vaginal penetration. So here are some ideas:

1. Using vibrators may be a way forward for you. I specifically recommend the Jo Divine website: jodivine.com/

Have a good look round this website because there is a lot of good information both on sexual pleasure and sexual health. The company is headed by a lady who used to be a nurse and she is passionate about sexual issues - including vaginissmus.

2. Another option is to consider HPV self testing - you can buy kits on line.

3. Get an appointment with GP to discuss your fears around the smear test. Maybe referral to a women's health physiotherapist or a psychosexual counsellor might be relevant.

4. There are 2 gynaecological cancer charities who offer information and support, including helplines, for cervical screening:

Jo's Cervical Cancer Trust at: jostrust.org.uk/

The Eve Appeal at: eveappeal.org.uk/

Hope there is something here that might be helpful?

[SisterWinter in reply to Perido]

thank you for your advice, I'll look into it. I didnt know you could do at home kits. that might be my way foward.