Hi there folks, I am sorry to have been absent for such a time, I hope this finds you all well, or at least as well as you can be, and certainly better than I have of late.
Unfortunately my mental health has taken it's toll on me and I have not had anything I have wanted to say, but then it's not all about having something to say, I am happy to hear(although I wasn't even up for that for a good while there); why are we so cruel to our selves at times, why is That hardwired into each and every one of us.
As I said in my last post how ever long ago that was, I have completely fallen away from my Pain Management Programme, though things do pop into my head from time to time and I try getting back on the horse; I am definitely more mindful than i was prior to completing the programme.
Part of the programme focused on getting rid of negative thoughts, which I did seem to get a handle on, and I do quite well turning self negativity around, I am having real trouble turning someone else's negativity. Seemingly I am not a good, daughter, mother, wife, friend or person, and it's totally thrown me off balance, I always thought I was an ok person, doing all I could for others, trying not to ask for too much from others, treating others as I wished to be treated; now i feel as if i haven't a clue who I am or who I should be.
On trying to work through this negativity I have become more withdrawn, i can't seem to let the words flow to be able to talk to anyone, when I want to talk the words get stuck in my throat, i feel sick and I just want to cry.
This has been grinding around my brain for about 2 years now and i really feel it's having a detrimental affect on every aspect of my being, I have contemplated speaking to my GP, but how does one explain, where do you start. If anyone has any advice or opinions, I'd love to hear them.
Thank you in advance should you have anything you would like to contribute, and Thank You so much for taking time out of your day to hear me.
Stay safe, keep well and be strong.
