I’m a trans guy and I don’t know what to do with myself

[Yoyojoe624]

Hi there, my name is Joe and I I’m a trans guy. I’m 16 so still love with parents. I’ve been out to my family and friends for well over a year now, and everyone has been very supportive. Well at least that’s what they say, my friends are great and try to use my pronouns all the time, even if they mess up by accident, they will always correct themselves. However my family tell me they support me but have NEVER used my pronouns, I try to remind them nicely but they just say it’s hard for them, I spoke to them the other day about it, and they said they might never be able to call me ‘he’. I’m leaving my school In a few months to start somewhere new so I won’t have the friends I have now anymore. I also have depression and anxiety and I don’t know what to do!!

[LDAutie]

Hi Yoyojoe624,

I know your post is 8 months old but in case you still visit I just want to say I have been there to and I am now accepted and most of the time called he, and Most of the time they use my legal name.

It is a shame your not in the UK as There is a free and very easy way of changing your name,without getting a solicitor involved,my gender Identity clinic specialist who I’ve seen a few times gave me the Web address before prescribing me testosterone.

keep on pushing through for a couple of years,try let it go over your head if it’s a genuine slip up.it’ll take your parents a while to adjust as they go through a period of “loss”.

I do wonder if there is a support group for parents of trans kids in your country,as over here in UK we have a charity called Mermaids, it may be worth contacting them to see if they know of an equivalent.

You coud sit your parents down (whoever is the calmer of the pair woud be better)have a tea/coffee with them,and say you have found this group of parents who are going through the same things they are,and if they have any questions or concerns about your gender identity that they can’t approach you about,they coud then bring this up with their parents support group.

Or,if you were feeling confident enough,attend a ‘In person’ trans/trans male group yourself and when you get to know everyone,ask the facilitator if there coud be a day where you all bring your parents,relatives or friends in so they can ask questions.

I used to attend a mencap ‘In person’ LGBT group,it was for LGBT folks who have any level of intellectual disability,and one day I asked if I coud bring my parents along-both in their late sixties I think at the time,they came and they were taught we are all the same as everyone else,this actually helped my parents accept my trans side.

If your parents are unable to accept you are who you are,which is always a possibility then you need to step back and wait till they mentally process what they are thinking, for some people unfortunately they will never accept their kids being trans, gay etc,but you will always have the LGBT community for backup,and I know it’s not the same but the community can be so family like anyway as so many of us have not had an easy life,some far worse than others.

If you ever want to chat I am always around.🙂