Build up to Christmas and beyond

[Davel831]

Hi All

Well it is coming up to that time of year, and with a child with FAS we seem always to have highted issues.

Our adopted son who has FAS likes structure and repertition , when it comes to the season break he goes completely out of his norm.

We are just wondering do other carers , adopted parents see this pattern as well? If so would you mind sharing your strategies to ease the situation.

BR

D

[FranHarris]

Hi

We are special guardians to a sibling group of 4. All of them have been diagnosed with partial fetal alcohol syndrome. Prior to becoming their Special Guardians we were they're foster carers. All I can say from experience as a foster carer is that Christmas is a horrendous time for all children that have come through the care system. It is a time when being part of a birth family is pushed down they're throats. We are all expected to be happy and joyful with food and presents in abundance. The reality for most of these kids with or without FAS is the complete opposite. We know that the day they go back to school after the autumn break will trigger the start of the Christmas countdown behaviour. The three youngest are at primary school and we have found it useful to warn the school and to try and get the teachers to keep it low key for the 3 of them and to gradually introduce changes. The youngest one has no idea we are not his birth parents as he is not able to comprehend that possibility he therefore does not know of the disabilty he has. The other 2 girls are aware we are not their birth parents and also of the FAS. We have found it useful to talk and explain very simply to them why they have difficulty with the change in routine at Xmas. Their older brother is 19 and Christmas is also extremely difficult for him. Again we encourage him to talk to us and we sit down with him and explain over and over why his behavior changes. Add into the mix that all 4 of Attachment Disorder and it makes for a challenging time of year. Luckily we have 4 adult birth children who are able to step in and help prevent meltdowns and ease the situation.

[Davel831 in reply to FranHarris]

Hi Fran

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and thoughts. We can certainly relate to some of the issues you have described.

We will be thinking of you at this Christmas , as we do with other families of FASD children.

Kind regards D