Pushing limits again!: Hello fellow e... - Encephalitis Society

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Pushing limits again!

OldGnome profile image
29 Replies

Hello fellow e-peeps!

As December has once again gotten here too fast, so has the holiday season!

This year I have decided to do something I have not done for over a decade; attend my Company's Christmas party! Unfortunately, my better attire appears to have shrunk whist in storage. (I refuse to believe that I have gained weight, as the real reason! 😆)

So, off to the stores I went, obtaining one piece at a time, of acceptable attire that would fit me. This was quite a challenge in and of itself, but I did it. Unfortunately, the new dress shirt needed ironing and I do not own a clothing iron, so I will have to hope that the wrinkles won't be too bad.

I will be in the midst of approximately 200 people who will be most talkative, to say the least. I hope I am able to handle all of the quickly-changing discussions with so many people!

In the worst case, I can simply apologise and make a quick exit. The event happens tomorrow, for me. 2 December at 6PM!!

I still can't believe that I am going to attempt this. In April of 2018 I was in a coma for 3 days with encephlitis/meningits. I couldn't even remember my birthday at that time. And now after many difficult challenges, I am giving this major social event a go!

Hope all here are finding satisfaction in dealing with all challenges that come with life after contracting encephalitis. Even if I end up failing, at least I had the ability to try. And that's something. I was not able to try until now, and I am thankful for that.

Onward and upward, one and all!

OldGnome

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OldGnome profile image
OldGnome
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29 Replies
kayjay2 profile image
kayjay2

good for you shopping like that!

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to kayjay2

Hello kayjay2!

It was great to be able to get out and shop, but not so great to find that larger sizes of clothing were not in stock! 😆

Hoping that things are going well for you and your sister!

OldGnome

Gandalf2 profile image
Gandalf2

Hi OG, a great post, bravo and good luck with your venture. Come to think of it most people are nervous and apprehensive in that sort of situation. Fingers crossed.

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Gandalf2

Well, it's all over and I made it!! I stayed for 3 hours and had a lot of discussions, sat down to eat with everyone, and had some great laughs, too! I can't believe I actually "held it together" but most surprisingly, with minimal effort! This raises the bar to a new level for me and tomorrow, I'm not going to believe I was actually able to do it!

Some of tonights discussions have led to establishing a better friendship with a certain person at the job, too!

Towards the end of the 3 hours I stayed, I knew I had had enough, though. I could have stayed for the last 2 hours of the party, but that's when the rest of the night was turned over to the DJ and dancing/alcohol consumption were all that were going to occur. Since I've nobody to dance with, and I never drink/drive (Not even ONE!) it was time for me to go. Actually, a lot of people also left when I did.

So all in all, it was an unexpectedly great time.

I know I might have some more "bad days" ahead, but I will mark this day with a checkmark in the "victory column"!!

For anyone who pushes a limit, I wish you the same victory!

OldGnome

2Dads profile image
2Dads

onward and upward indeed, you will never know if you don’t give it a crack. Hope it all goes well on the day but if for some unfortunate reason you aren’t able you have tried. I’m thinking you will be successful, enjoy.

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to 2Dads

Thanks for the well-wishes 2Dads!

It all went unusually well, and now I am looking forward to future events.

I absolutely LOVE the "profile pic" you chose! I feel a lot like that after pushing myself too far!

All the best!

OldGnome

GreenBamboo profile image
GreenBamboo

Hi OG,Another milestone for you, fantastic! And you enjoyed it not endured it.

This is a truly difficult situation on so many levels, you must be buzzing. Your story has set my day up with a smile

When you think back to where you where at the beginning of your E-journey to last night it is phenomenal.

This story is an inspiration to the who are at the starting line of their journey, thank you for sharing 😁

What's next on your "to conquer' list?

I have booked a trip in May next year to New York, I am so excited and apprehensive at the same time...Will I really be well enough...how will I cope with the travel....have I really come this far to be able to do it. Your story has spurred me on.

Have a fab day

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to GreenBamboo

Hello GreenBamboo!

I actually DID enjoy myself, although it was quite a lot for me to deal with. The strange "head buzzing" sensation and dizziness manifested themselves again, but not so badly that I had to leave. So that tells me that I am still not where I should be, with regards to healing.

Being able to manage the major problems, are the difference, though. I am becoming less and less of a recluse, but slowly and carefully. My condition of solitary confinement is easier to deal with, when I know that if I plan accordingly, I can do things that "normal" people do all of the time.

You have booked a trip to New York for next year?? Do you mean the city (Manhattan) or another location in the state? I am curious as to why you would take a trip there, as well! That's a very ambitious trip if you are planning on going to the city. In my younger years, I spent quite a lot of time there on the weekends, since it was a 3.5 hour drive from where I lived in Massachusetts. It was a "straight shot" travelling on Interstate-Route 95, so one couldn't get lost too easily. Of course this was in the days when cell phones/navigation systems didn't exist, so the trusty paper Road Atlas was marked using a yellow Highlighter Marker, and we hit the road. Ah, the memories!!

I don't really have a conquer list item at the moment. In reality, I didn't expect the latest event to go as well as it did.

If I did, it would probably be a ridiculously unattainable goal, like travelling to the UK and becoming Prime Minister!! 😆 I do not believe I am tall enough or remotely royal enough, to be King, so Prime Minister is the best I could do. I would probably attempt to visit the e-peeps here, and show up at G2's house in the quickest Caterham 7!

When you get a chance, I would like to know about your trip to NY! You can always send a personal message here, if you feel it's something you don't want to appear on the main page here.

Wishing you a marvelous upcoming week!

OldGnome

GreenBamboo profile image
GreenBamboo in reply to OldGnome

Hi OG, Write that "conquer list' list and put be Prime Minister of UK at the top, being on our 3rd this year there's always time for a 4th by the end of this year 🤣

2nd on the list 'become a member of the Royal Family', as sadly the RF ate imploding with their current antics and there may be space for Old Gnome yet😂

I am going to NYC with my 14 Yr old daughter & mum. We chose NYC simply because my daughter & I have never been abroad together and I wanted to do this before she flies the nest in time. NY is my daughters choice.

My mum lost her husband a year ago and so this will be her first holiday abroad since, so a wonderful girls trip. I am pleased that she is coming to spend time with her but also so if I am not that good, my daughter will still be able to go out with my mum.

It will be a 'tourist' trip seeing all the wonderful typical places; Statue of Liberty, Empire State building, Central Park (& station) ...I would like to see everything depicted in the movies. Of course also paying our respects at Ground Zero.

I would be really interested to learn of the lesser known sights or experiences that you could recommend?

Sorry to hijack your post!

☺️

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to GreenBamboo

Hijacking a post? Nope, not to me! I am glad to hear from you!

I might try to send a REAL letter to the King and ask him if it would be a good idea for me to try for a position as PM!! It will never be read and probably be thrown into the rubbish bin without being opened, but it would be a fun goal to set! How many people from other countries have written to the Queen or the King of England with such a request?!

However, if I were to become king, all of the inscribed items from King George VI could be dusted off and brought back out, since GR would mean "Gnome Rex"!

It appears that the goings-on with the quick replacements of prime ministers and the antics of the RF are just a sign of the times. It seems like the entire "civilised world" is making us e-peeps appear to be the comparatively normal/sane ones! It all seems to be like a huge game of "tug of war"; when the rope goes too far to either side, events happen to bring it back to center. Here in the U.S. things are anything but ideal, as well.

Hopefully, my silly remarks gave you a smile or two and for the moment, I will switch gears to your trip to NYC. I can't believe you will be able to do such a thing and I am a bit jealous too! 😆 NYC is indeed the City That Never Sleeps. It is really its own little world and is unlike any other city in the U.S. that I have been to for many reasons.

I am actually thinking a lot about the things I did and the places I went to and am marking them down on my dry-erase board until I have enough of them to send a proper "must see" list! I am planning on sending you some useful info via the Chat page, since the message will probably be lengthly and not belonging on the main page, here.

One fun tidbit; there are over 24,000 restaurants in Manhattan alone which means it would take you 65 years to eat at a different one every day!

Thanks for helping me exercise my memory and remember the fun times I had many years ago. And please stand by for what will hopefully be some useful tidbits for your visit!

OldGnome

Wygella profile image
Wygella in reply to OldGnome

old Gnome for Prime Minister! I’m preparing my banners. 👏👏😂

Paula-38 profile image
Paula-38 in reply to Wygella

This conversation has really made me laugh. 😂

Remos profile image
Remos

Old Gnome - you old dog!

What an achievement! 3 hours in a busy noisy environment having to hold numerous conversations. That’s progress indeed. The very fact you’re still working at any level is amazing.

I truly miss work but know I will never be able to return due to the inevitable stresses which come with it. I also still find it difficult to talk with ex-colleagues when they call to check how I’m doing. For some reason I feel “embarrassed” that I’m no-longer the person they knew. Crazy I know but hey-ho (Onwards and Upwards).

Anyway, very well done. You truly are the Worlds Strongest Gnome!

Must be all those lupins.

Take care old friend - Remos.

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Remos

Remos! How have you been?!

Hopefully, not attempting to face the peril at Castle Anthrax!! I cannot speak of my adventure there very much. I was also rescued at the last minute! 😂 (By the way, Zoot says "Hi!")

~And now for something completely different~

Even though I am only working (2) 4 hour shifts per week, the benefits of doing so are indeed manifold. My Company does a lot of nice things for its employees and the annual Christmas party is just one of them. Last year I would not have attempted it; it was still very difficult to report to work, even with the minimal hours I work! Nowadays, it's getting easier and there are even times when I would likely be able to work an additional 4 hour shift!

And now I will switch into more serious thoughts. The fact that you still hear from ex-colleagues is highly significant, in my opinion. It means that you are a person of value to them, which is a great thing! When I fell ill, most people simply discarded me and essentially left me for dead. The ones who stayed in allegiance are the ones who I can depend upon.

Work is a good thing, but as you say, if it is too much of a burden, then it is not a worthwhile endeavour. And really, it's just work. I am sure there are numerous things you can do to fill any void that the job loss created. The trick is finding them, and being able to do them. (Easier said than done, as we both know!)

Feeling embarrassed is something I am also mastering. Most often, I make a "big deal" out of things that to others, don't matter or are not worth making a fuss over. I have to admit that I have also had to loosen the reins of perfectionism that I hold for myself. I still have high moral standards, etc. But I have to learn to "loosen up" and not be so judgemental of myself, with regards to comparatively unimportant things, like mismatched socks, a stutter, or even a temporary memory loss. (I forgot someone's name at the party yesterday in mid-discussion!)

True friends are real friends and although you might not be exactly the person they once knew, there is obviously enough of the "old person" intact. The person who led them to like you in the first place!

Some years ago, I went though a program that helped with dealing with anxiety. One bit of wisdom I never forgot was the results of their extensive study of people, in general.

20% of people will like you, no matter what. 20% of people will NOT like you, no matter what. 60% of people will change their opinion; sometimes they will like you, sometimes they won't.

So, I like to keep this in mind. It's easy to spot the 20% who won't like you no matter what. It's weeding out the remaining 60% that can be tricky. The "wishy washy 60%" are not always easy to detect. They are generally either self-seeking charlatans, or simply insecure people.

The 20% who like me no matter what, are the people who I call my REAL friends. Their behaviour, support, and help make it so. The other 80%, can really go jump into the Thames and take a long swim, away from me!

Good gracious, this post is very very long!! I better move on before you fall asleep after reading it!!

Hoping you are having some interludes of enjoyment, as the holidays approach, and in general!

Your friend from across the pond,

OldGnome

Wygella profile image
Wygella

That’s fantastic! Well done. I know we’re about the same post E gap apart but the most I’ve managed so far was about 15 people at my husband’s company summer meal. And you are right, that memory still warms me and encourages me to do more. This post cheered me right up.

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Wygella

Hello Wygella!

I am very glad to hear that my post cheered you up! Just your saying so, actually makes my day a better one!

It's great to hear that you were able to attend a gathering of 15 people! The trick I am learning, with regards to large crowds, is to simply focus on a small group. Then I move onto another small group. Last night I went to an area with tables with people I knew better, and had some brief discussions with them. Then I moved to another table and repeated that. It's like eating a pizza; we only eat ONE piece at a time, not the whole thing! And sometimes I have to take an 8 slice pizza and cut it to 16 slices; smaller pieces are easier to deal with.

Unfortunately, I now want a very large pizza, and there is none here! 😆

Wishing you more and more success in your dealings with post-e!!

OldGnome

Wygella profile image
Wygella in reply to OldGnome

Thanks OG. That’s really good advice. I got a bit overwhelmed like you after about 3 hours but I’m still glowing with the success. Sounds like we’re both trying to push a bit more as we get well past our 4th anniversary. Here’s to our continued moving forward.

Now I want pizza and it’s only breakfast time!! 🍕🍕

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Wygella

Actually, I found out that they make things called "Breakfast Pizzas" that have eggs, bacon, etc on them instead of the usual tomato sauce/meat/cheese toppings. I think I'll take one of those, too!! Any time is pizza time!! The only one I won't eat is the "Hawaiian Pizza" with pineapple/ham on it. Nope, I'll pass on that one! 😝

The success after making it to 3 hours is definitely reason to feel like a champion of sorts!! Strangley enough, the very next day, I received a phone call with an invitation to ANOTHER Christmas party, so here I go again!! This happens on the 17th!

Wygella profile image
Wygella in reply to OldGnome

ha. I love the idea of a ‘Things I’ve achieved’ section, as you suggested to Paula. Like you, I’m at the stage where things like fatigue have lessened a lot, but still get me. 3 hours of conversation and I need to wander off to give my brain a break and recharge it are now almost normal and I work mostly quite cheerily round them. People also say to me things like everyone puts their washing up liquid in the fridge occasionally! (Do they really? 🤣). But I know 4 years on how far we’ve both obviously come from those first months and years so we really can cheer others on

Still think I prefer the eggs and bacon traditional breakfast then pizza lovely pizza any other time! (Sadly I’m intolerant to dairy, but you can get some ace dairy free too)

Finally good luck on 17th having done it once I’m guessing there will be less nerves before hand and really hope you have another great, achievement filled, time.

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Wygella

Let's see if I make it for the 17th! I had to call off of work on Monday, feeling very poorly. Turns out, I somehow got Covid AGAIN!! And I am a CDC card carrier, proving I was fully vaccinated!! So much for the vaccine theory! I would have been better off taking a gin/tonic! 😁

Rule Brittania!! 🇬🇧

Wygella profile image
Wygella in reply to OldGnome

Oh no! Hopefully having gone through the jabs routine this will be a mild bout and won’t knock you backwards. So so sorry. But please know you’ve cheered us all up on here with these posts and now we want to try and cheer you up back!! X

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Wygella

Supposedly, the latest variant isn't as bad and since I already had Covid, I have at least some level of developed autoimmunity, according to the medical people. I place very limited trust in what they say, though. I am in day #3 of my "Covid Chapter 2" and am already off the the recliner and have begun simple tasks like doing the dishes, and descaling my coffee maker. So I am hoping to be back to whatever "normal" is for me, a lot sooner this time!

Actually, I talk to a lot of people do some of the same things that I attribited to post-e, like popping something in the freezer, instead of the fridge, forgetting to put a filter in the coffee maker, etc. I am starting to see that we e-peeps may be being a bit too hard on ourselves, and need to treat such things as being trivial, since they really are!

I am certainly glad that the posts here have seemed to provide quite a bit of cheering-up and even some inspiration to others. I like to joke around quite a lot, but when it's time to be serious, I can be very much so. Some might perceive that everything in my life is always improving and going just perfectly. I assure all, my life is anything but. But as is said, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! And that's what I try to do.

In my abundance of spare time and whilst under the influence of Covid, I thought of some things to help (or maybe not) get my the votes needed to become PM:

1: Abolish the TV license fee. There are a lot of old traditions and such. This one needs to go. There are far more effective ways of keeping BBC on the air.

2: Change to driving on the right side of the road instead of the current left side. This is solely for my convenience and will ensure I don't get into trouble whilst driving my Caterham 7 around. (I know this one won't pass; I suppose I will have to get used to using a gearshift with the left hand!)

3: New BBC show starring yours truly: Cooking with the PM! I will go to lesser-known places all around the UK and cook with local residents using ingredients that are chiefly known to that area of the country. T-Shirts and other things could be sold, with the proceeds put right back into the BBC, taking care of the license fee.

Well, I better get going before I write too much more of this silly subject.

Wishing you the best and don't forget, you are having a good day if you don't crack your eggs into the coffee filter basket!! That's what pans are for! 😆

OldGnome

Wygella profile image
Wygella in reply to OldGnome

Well done on the Covid recovery. I’ve had the wretched thing 3 times now and as I can’t have the jab at the moment due to eye and hospital issues hopefully I have plenty of immunity!!

Also being serious for a moment, you’re right. It’s important not just to sound like we’ve got it cracked and are always improving because the reality is it is still an up and down adventure. But when I think back to the beginning oh my goodness I’ve come a long way. I think after over 4 years we know that we will never be who and what we were pre E but that’s ok in that we can now see what we are and will be and adjust accordingly. Rather than (well in my case) fighting against it.

Now. Your campaign. Scrap the driving on the right. That’s definitely not a vote winner.

However. Cooking with the PM? Hell yes. Bring that one on!!!

Keep improving.

Paula-38 profile image
Paula-38

Hi OldGnome,

I agree with Wygella and Remos.

That's incredible! Well done!! Such a remarkable achievement having so many conversations in a really busy environment!

Most of my post E challenges were when I was growing up because I had it the day after my first birthday and so I must have had the longest after effects i.e not knowing a previous life or what life without the effects of encephalitis is like.

Apart from my profound OCD, most things are much better than they were when I was growing up.

This post has cheered me up and I'm so happy for you! 😁

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome in reply to Paula-38

Hello Paula, how have you been?

Yes, it's been quite a busy time for me lately! Attending the party was a great thing for many reasons. Besides being a previously unattainable goal, it was an opportunity to socialise and also to assess areas in my post-e journey, that still needed improvement.

In a nutshell, I got to see how much I had improved, and how far I still needed to go. And if I have reached my peak of improvement, then so be it. I will do as much as I can and be thankful and happy about it!

However, I am realising that I almost need to let go of my tale of having the big-e in 2018, when speaking to others. People have told me that they would not have known that anything was "wrong" with me at all! I spoke with some older co-workers and discussed my memory problems and forgetting things. They told me, "It's called getting older, you'll get used to it like us!"

Essentially, they trivialised (in a good way) a lot of the things that were bothering me. As I have said, I am learning not to make such a big deal out of a lot of things, and am also learning not to be so self-judgemental and perfectionistic.

I am very glad to hear you say that things are much better than they were when you were growing up! I've never had to deal with OCD, but hopefully you can manage it to the point where life is quite enjoyable!

I love to hear stories of success, regardless of how trivial they may appear to be. I believe I might be inspired to start a post regarding successes of the month, or something like that!

Wishing you the very best, Paula! Hope to hear from you soon!

OldGnome

Paula-38 profile image
Paula-38 in reply to OldGnome

Have a look at your emails.

HSE_Survivor profile image
HSE_Survivor

A night out with colleagues is an amazing achievement! Definitely be really proud of yourself.

I tried it , but there is no pleasure for me meeting in the evening due to the rapid onset of fatigue. I know some colleagues couldn’t understand my need to go home early which made me appear like I wasn’t enjoying their company.

These days I only meet up with family and close friends , because they adjust arrangements to accommodate me. We had our Christmas family reunion yesterday with 18 of us meeting up at 3.30pm. I happily kept up with the chat, and then no one was offended when I headed off home at 8 o’clock .

OldGnome profile image
OldGnome

Hello HSE_Survivor!

The fatigue is by far, the worst thing I have to deal with and try to manage. So I know exactly what you are talking about. What really disrupted me, was staying at the party when I am usually taking my mandatory nap on the recliner. I pushed myself, knowing I would "pay the price" the following day. But at least I knew what to expect so that I could deal with it. The fatigue is what keeps me from being able to return to work full time, as well.

I have worked at my company since 2006, though. And my supervisor, the human resources director, and even the owner of the company himself have been told, by me, of what happened. So if I had to leave the party early, nobody would have been offended. The owner himself was extremely generous in even allowing me to return to work my very limited hours of (2) 4 hours shifts, Mondays and Fridays. Not many people, especially in today's world, would have done that.

I was hoping that the fatigue would begin to fade to the point where I could begin to work my way back into returning full-time. Unfortunately, that does not look like it will ever happen, at least not any time soon.

It sounds like you had an outstanding time with the family event, though! This is something to be very happy about, in my opinion. Here I live in solitude; my family is down to a handful of people living over 500 miles away, so I never see them. We are not a "close family" anyway, so things are what they are. If you have a supportive, close-knit family, that is a priceless reason to be happy!! 😀

Enjoy all that you are able to, and I hope the Christmas season is a good one for you!

OldGnome

Bevpw21 profile image
Bevpw21

I hope that your Christmas party was ok!!! What a lovely inspirational post. It makes me feel like I can try things and to have an escape route if I need it! 🥰Thank you!

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