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My dtr is now in yr11 and we have recently been told she is dyslexic, she is very upset and feels a failure we dont know how to help her?

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fordsteeem5
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wgiles profile image
wgilesVolunteer

Hi l really feel for you and your daughter, l have been through this 4 times now with each of my children.

Check out Dyslexia Action website lots of info on there.

Tell her there are SO many dyslexic people that have acheived their dreams and goals.(google famous dyslexic people you/she will be amazed just who is on there)

That she will get to where she wants to go it will just take a little longer but there is help out there espcially in further education/uni.

Its not the end of the world infact dyslexic people have many skills that others dont we are artistic creative able to think out of the box as are brain works in a different way doesnt mean its the wrong way just means we have to be creative in finding ways we learn/work best.

All the very best to you and your daughter.

Alis profile image
Alis

I wish we could get away from this idea that to be dyslexic is to fail! Encourage your daughter to recognise that all it is about is being wired to learn in a different way. It's actually good to have dyslexics around - they often see things from a different angle. The problem that dyslexics have is that non dyslexics have established ways of assessing, learning etc and they are in the majority so dyslexics are adapting to a system that doesn't naturally suit them - it's rather like having to function in a different language - you can speak it but it's always a bit more of an effort. My two dyslexic children often say that In a world where dyslexics ruled, their dyslexia wouldn't be an issue at all.

WeeDude profile image
WeeDude

Dyslexia is not a learning difficulty until it isn't recognised and supported just a different way of learning. I found the book "The Gift of Dyslexia" very helpful and it is written by a Dyslexic for people with Dyselxia so is very easily accessible! Be positive and you daughter is more likely to follow suit - read up on it and find out what support is available in your area.

paddingtonbear profile image
paddingtonbear

Find what she does best and encourage her to develop knowledge and skills in this/these areas, to help keep her confidence up. Dyslexics are often very talented just not in a traditional way.

I wonder who has told you your daughter has Dyslexia? It doesn't sound like you have had access to a detailed report from a specialised Teacher (with AMBDA) or a Psychologist who are qualified to diagnose Dyslexia and would endeavour to explain strengths as well as weaknesses and ways of using support strategies to get around difficulties. If you haven't seen a detailed report please ask to view it, if it is just a Screener, then it won't tell the whole picture and is not an official diagnosis.

In any case, if your daughter is Dyslexic, she may be experiencing frustration because Dyslexics often have a higher ability compared with reading/writing skills so they are aware of their difficulties and frustrated at the effort it takes them to communicate in those ways. Support should be available at school, in particular ask if she can be assessed for exam arrangements, and consider using a laptop in class if this is easier for her. If she is planning on going to University then encourage her with this, she may need an assessment for a DSA (Disabled Student's allowance) (depending what assessment has recently been done) and there seems to be much more support, including financial to buy useful equipment when at University. So hang on in there!

lwall33781 profile image
lwall33781

Encourage her,and always be positive.She is most certainly not a failure.I was diagnosed with Dyslexia when I was ten years old, I have a HighSchool Diploma,I have also completed three years of College.That's not failure.

fordsteeem5 profile image
fordsteeem5

Thank you everyone above for all your comments, they have all been helpful, and it is nice to know that there are people out there who can help.

mathewlisett profile image
mathewlisett

its so strange how your daughter has the automatic response to feel ashamed of this subject at her age. most teachers and even the education board after 30 + plus still dont understand what dyslexia is, so it stuns me to how she could understand a matter and therefore be ashamed of it.

But it also shows that if at this age they are being ill informed during school time, then it shows the schools still in 2012 need to stepup and create a change, after all its all about education of knowledge yet with dyslexia and many other formats of learning, school are failing big time to recognize this.

if anything, have a normal chat with her if you indeed are a family that does this, and have a chat about who has dyslexia in the working world. And i say this becuase when i did my writ up to help somebody via twitter , i found out that einstiend was deemed thick and usless becuase of his dyslexia, yet he ended up being part of the education system. we have people like robbie willaims, tom cruise, kara Thornton and over 30 + plus that have come to light over the past year.

Why have i mentioned this, well it shows that theres not a single thing to eb ashamed about but proud, enhance the way she learns, encourage that and let her do her thing. heck i was told 2 years ago that there are even lawyers who deal wtih dyslexia, these are people that NEED to know a lot about law.

AndyShelley762 profile image
AndyShelley762

hi, if you Google famous dyslexics you might find a few people that will give you hope and inspiration for her, i know it helped me at that age and even now, best of luck

Dyslexichick profile image
Dyslexichick

Tell her that its better to know. Now she has a reason for her difficulties - it is not her fault and she is not being lazy! When I was diagnosed at 17 I was relieved because I finally understood why I found certain things difficult. But I suppose its different for everyone... Remind her that many brilliant minds were/are also dyslexic minds-dyslexia.com/famous.htm

mobile112 profile image
mobile112

If you have Skype yes. In 2 hours your daughter can read with her ears and write with her voice. Training is free. I have trained some > 1,000 all in jobs, some upgraded their jobs - went to UNI, have a good life, nice families and what have you. I have done this for 10 years. My Skype is FlemmingAst DK - my e-mail is fa@mobile112.dk and my mobile is +452 2 15 4579

Take a look at the Dyslexic Carpenter on the Danish cable News from 10 years ago with English translation on mobile112.net first page.

I keep in contact with all I have trained to learn as I am Dyslexic too. My father deleveloped this method when I was 4 years old. Pen and paper and pictures and a tape recorder. So I spent 45 years thinking about designing

this solution that simple I can use it. That takes a lot of coding.

The app talk's to you when you press an icon. You start with the Lite at USD 1,90 and say a Nokia Android or iPhone or iPad or Tabet or Windows on a PC, TTS is installed and talking keyboard i 1 USD. There are good Nokia Android phones at about USD 75. Look for 5 Mega Pixel camera and a memory Card that can be incerted and storage the may Pictures, papers and books like e-books.

Text, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, web pages and any other eletronical information is spoken - text is shows and word are marked as they are spoken as Word per Word - paragraph - sentence or the complete text you selext.

rosannalenci profile image
rosannalenci

Hey!!!! tell her she will feel awkward for all her life.. but then if she researches inside her she will find out.. that awkward was a word invented by people with the typically left brain way of learning! The options are limitless with dyslexia! the higher the difficulty the bigger gift she must have!!! if you are in some EU country or US you are lucky cause education is also designed to give options for rightbrained people!

Find out with your daughter what is her most outstanding ability! normally this ability is the way she will manage her dyslexia!!!!

if she is music oriented thsi might help,.. if she is tridimensional then she must learn that way!!! if she is graphic that is her learning methodology!

I developed mine without knowing I was dyslexic! imagine I was told I was dyslexic when I was 17 alerady! my math teacher found out while seeing me cry desperately whiel I was answering a math test! it turns out equations and numbers are my demon! lol

It was encouraging to see him after that making me pass to the blackboard and solve equations in public.... while in the blackboard next to mine was a classmate doing the same! I found out thta dyslexia is a different solution planet!!!! all I did was so extremely different from what others did... but at teh end as the teacher said:- she is right but she did it differently... not using a formula but making one of her own-...

tell your daughter to study herself... how she remembers things...

I have developed some material and techniques.. I could help her out ... but mostly help her find out her strength

dyslexia is mostly related to writing... but it is a box of surprises... good and annoying ones.. ahhaha just tell her to relax and find out why do we need her to be as unique as she is!!!

Agatha Christie was dyslexic... she had problems reading what other write... but not writing it!

austinsmrs profile image
austinsmrs

My son is 11 and severely dyslexic. Children only feel a failure when they are struggling to keep up with their peers and their self esteem starts to kick in. Give them the right tools and help and she will flourish. Visit the schools SEN teacher and you will find there is a lot of help out there. Embrace the dyslexia I was gutted when my son was confirmed as having it by way of a Educational Psychologist, he is now flourishing in a specialist dyslexic school funded by the Local Authority and is now realising his potential. He thinks outside the box and I would say his dyslexia is actually a gift. Good luck