Born with cleft lip and palate

[Woodysteveo69]

Hi I'm 48 born with a cleft lip and palate.had my first surgery at the age of 30.my parents have never been there for me.in fact my mother was ashamed of me cause of my appearance.i meet a beautiful woman 18 years ago she love me for me.also I have a fantastic stepdaughter.who is go in to be first time mum in March 😀😀😀😀

[Natsteveo Administrator]

Welcome aboard Woodysteveo69 I hope you find comfort here and have a chance to speak about your experiences

Love Nat xxx

[Padmeister]

Hi Woodysteveo69,

I myself have never had surgery as my unilateral cleft has indeed altered the skull plates inside my skull and has altered some white matter and thinned my corpus callosum, the only reason to alter my appearance would be futile as I have been married and have a son and daughter, I cannot say I am happy with my craniofacial appearance or the nerve damage ( The glossopharyngeal nerve, known as the ninth cranial nerve ) that has impaired my sense of taste, smell and left me with a hypernasal tone this is historical and there is no undoing what has come to pass, to deny who and what I am is to deny my life before my motorcycle RTC and as this did shape me, I grew to like who I am and was. I have accepted that my life was not as others but overcame this neural tube defect, (albeit when I was 25) and had realised I was not the same as others my age I did not know why I was different until my TBI following a high speed motorcycle RTC and with the attention and care I received only then was I diagnosed. My children are not impaired as unlike my mother we did not smoke or consume alcohol, I say this as rural Ireland (republic) in 1964 knew very little of things. I was offered mental health support at the JRHospital in Oxford but at 36 I declined as I thought it was going to help as I had already shaped by my experiences in life and brain damage cannot be undone and to waste NHS monies would be futile as remain only me and want nothing to alter, I can see I have rambled on but this is as I want to help others and try and explain to others what how this has impacted on me. I began my career ten years later than others my age but exceeded my goals as I became a motor vehicle engineer, a MOT examiner, had a car, motorcycle and class two LGV licence. All the best to you

[Woodysteveo69 Volunteer in reply to Padmeister]

U seem a very strong person thank u Padmeister

[Hidden]

Hi Woodysteveo69

How absolutely awful that your parents let you down so badly and your mum was ashamed of your appearance.

Stick with your 'new' family who love you for who you are. That is real love. Hold your head up high and be proud Woodysteveo69.

I wish you well with your new Cleft Support Group and your future Grandbaby,

Lottie x

[Woodysteveo69 Volunteer in reply to Hidden]

I really appreciate it thank u Hidden

[Hidden]

You're welcome