Introduction

[Homecomer]

Hi I'm Nina age 65. Sometimes lonely and returned home to England from Australia 10 months ago

[sassy59]

Hi Nina and welcome to you. How long were you in Australia for? I do hope you get to make new friends. You certainly can do that on the forum. Xxxx

[Kimidog]

Hi Nina

I'm from Ireland aged 69 I hope you make friends soon which I'm sure you will . I'm sure you miss Australia and the different climate cx

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Homecomer and welcome to the forum. Please stay on the forum where you will make new friends. Also, your local library is a great source of information for groups and events in your area. I like your photograph. Do stay in touch on this supportive forum and let us know how you are doing. Thank you and best wishes.

[Hidden]

Hi Nina, you are a lovely looking lady. I've experienced some of the challenges you face on returning back to UK after a long absence, having lived for nearly 20 years in a Caribbean country and there's no doubt that, although it's always a challenge to make a big move, it can be very isolating when you are older.

I think the first thing is not to expect what you left behind. Before I even got back at the age of 63, people were saying "you'll find the UK very changed", and of course it was. Some things (mostly things from my past) were very familiar but society, manners, laws, everything else, had changed, and I felt just as 'foreign' as I did when I first arrived in my Caribbean home.

Don't ever expect to put Australia behind you. Some days I cry for the things I had to leave behind, but I try to concentrate the things which are better here, and there will always be at least a few.

You must go out and about and find people, because they aren't going to come to you. I tried reconnecting with old friends, but it just didn't work. They were used to not seeing me and as the old saying goes, 'too much water had passed under the bridge'. Even family has largely cast me out, no matter how hard I try and they tend to overlook me when holding gatherings etc., almost as if they are thinking, "ah, well you went away and abandoned us: don't expect us to put ourselves out for you now".

I'm 69 now and I've settled for life here rather than loving it. Just as with the Caribbean, there are very good things and very bad things. I have accepted that there will always be a part of me that wishes to return back there, even though I can't do it.

And although friendships have been formed, they are not the deep and meaningful ones I had when I was young.

But I wish you well and definitely think your best plan to cope with any loneliness is to seek out groups of people, through clubs and activities, so that you are included and that keep your mind and body active.

Stay well and happy, and a very happy Christmas and good wishes for the coming New Year.

[Premieji in reply to Hidden]

Hi - Callender was my maiden name. My father came from Grenada to Uk to join the RAF in the war years and married an English girl. One of the first mixed marriages! Are we related? There's loads of "cousins" over there or dispersed to Canada and US, as well as Britain of course.

[Hidden in reply to Premieji]

Hi Premieji - Sad to say we aren’t related, as Callendersgal is just a screen name and not my real one. But interestingly it has Caribbean connections. I lived in Barbados for many years as I was once married to a Bajan. I chose my screen name based on an address I lived at whilst there. Because I’ve had 2 mixed marriages with Caribbean men, one of whom also came to UK just after WW2, I’m really interested in the history of those guys who had such a hard time when they came to the aid of their ‘mother’ country. I’ve just watched the TV adaptation of Andrea Levy’s book ‘Small Island’ on Netflix so I was reminded of it all again recently. It’s so true that Caribbean names are dispersed all over the place, and even if we aren’t related, it’s a pleasure to make the acquaintance of someone with Caribbean connections.

[Premieji]

Awww, so nice! Yes, lovely to make contact. I have an aunt originally from Grenada (now living in Jamaica) aged 93.5 who regularly hops over to family in Toronto. I have visited all over the Caribbean and Toronto to keep contact with my Caribbean family, but was born and grew up in UK. I have a wonderful English husband, 3 amazing kids and now 5 beautiful grandkids. Life is great! Hopefully the world will become more accepting of differences of all kinds. Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!