They don't understand

Just wondering how others explain how tired emotionally and physically you get with COPD. I still work I work alot of hours because I have to. When I get home it's all I can do sometimes to make dinner forget washing up. I can't explain it to my grown up kids though. In one way I'm glad they push me to do more but in another I just wish they would understand I'm worn out. I think because I've always just got on with things and coped they think I can keep going but sometimes I am just worn out. Moan over lol.

15 Replies

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  • cOPD comes under invisible illness ,if you had your arm in a sling they would see you had problems ,do try to get them to help you

    Take care

    Dorothy

  • It can be hard can't it? I think sometimes we can give the wrong message too by trying to do too much so people think we can carry on the same. Here's a link to a good explanation you could print off to show your family, called "Sick Lungs Don't Show" - hope it helps.

    copdsupport.ie/copd-support...’t-show

  • Thanks for the link O2, sure I've seen the link before but never gone to it or read it - it answered many questions for me!

  • Thank you x

  • It's called passive resistance. You just don't do it. Tell them in no uncertain terms what this condition does to you and that you need help. I still have the same problem with my own family who have grown up with my bronch and only knew I wasn't well when I rarely took to my bed. In one way it's good that families don't view us as invalids but they do need to be taught to 'tune in' to times when they have to take some of the load.xx

  • In our children's eyes we never get old or sick. I get tired of being described as a independent old so & so. I'm not independent, I just don't get offered any flipping help!!

    My dog understands, because she's getting old herself. ;-)

  • High bloomin five! 👍

  • Try the spoon theory.

    butyoudontlooksick.com/arti...

  • I have given that some thought and you know what? I think I am an independent old git after all. :-(

  • Did you decide that for yourself with no help from family or friends? 😜😂

  • Like a lot of elderly people I've been pre-programmed with automatic responses like "Yes I'm fine, thanks", "No I can manage, thanks". I can hardly blame them if they stop asking or offering after a while, which is what has probably happened.

  • Your story is the same as most of us Don. I know they love me, so it could be worse. Children, young or old, think you will be superman till the end :)

  • Lol. Beat me to it.

  • lt might pay you to have a blood test to check you vitamin b 12 levels. l also have copd and have suffered from extreme fatigue for a long time but for the past few months it has been getting to the point where l could hardly get up. l put it down to the condition and getting older (l am 65) l was also losing my appetite, l put that down to not being active. l got the results of my blood test yesterday and sure enough it was the vitamin b 12 levels. my doctor has put me on folic acid so hopefully that will sort me out. l am not saying that's the case for you but it might be worth while getting tested.

    no matter how old the kids are l think that they struggle to accept that a parent is ill and getting older, mine are the same and its so hard to ask for help.

    take care x

  • You are doing too much! If your family are living at home they must help around the house more. I hope you feel better soon. Lilian xxxxxx

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