Government have decided their Anti pollution and clean air efforts need to be paid for! Due to great movement to improve air quality it is going though parliament to pass a exhale tax. It has been found after years of research that the average human exhales 15 times a minute. This has found to be detrimental to the environment as it is all the bad things that are coming out. So to help clean this up the money will partly go to improvident to air quality 10% and the remainder to the higher wage bill of the MPs and to clear the bar bill. The amount that will have to be paid by all humans over the age of 18 will only be 1p per exhale. This will also be controlled under licence by WONGA as they realise a few people that are not MP's may not be able to pay the £78,000 required to pay this tax bill and may need a short term loan to keep the tax man happy.
Once this goes though parliament it was leaked by an insider that they are at the green paper stage of the Flatulence And Rectal Trauma Act (F.A.R.T.A 2014) which will not allow people to break wind in the workplace or public buildings and will have the same fines in place as the smoking laws!