Finding out I need a triple bypass

[Treeline7]

Just found out I need a triple bypass. Any advice on how to cope with the overwhelming feelings of shock and panic that I have at the moment? Thanks

[LadyZ13]

Hello Treeline, welcome to the community - I'm sorry that you join after such a huge piece of news. It's a hell of a lot to take in and carry with you. 2 weeks ago I discovered I need investigation for a congenital heart defect which came as a shock after 38 years of being very fit and well.

First off, joining this community is a Very Good Start. You will hear from others in your position, be able to read their 'oh crikey' posts from time of diagnosis and see how they're doing now in the run up to and after surgery. Life does adjust to a new normal for everyone and while these early days are overwhelming, it will get easier.

My second point is that it sounds absolutely massive and extremely scary, but it's important to remember just how common heart operations are and how far the science has come. I have a cousin who is a cardiologist and she is almost blasé about heart surgery. Many of her patients have it, the majority sail through it and enjoy a better quality of life as a result, and the surgeons that do the work are extremely well practiced and good at what they do.

Finally, in these early days especially, be kind to yourself and try not to carry this weight too far in your own. Talk to people. If your worries are getting on top of you, write them down, rank them in order of size, commit to talking to a doctor or BHF nurse about them. Make time for a few things to help you put down the worrying for a bit. For me, this was 10 mins meditation a day, and a favourite sitcom.

And ask questions on here. With our medical services so stretched there can be long wait lists for appointments and treatments, and those with lived experience of your situation will be a help.

You're not alone.

[Treeline7 in reply to LadyZ13]

Dear ladyZ13

thank you so much for your kind and supportivv words, they were a comfort. I will try to be calm, easier said than done at this stage and try the meditation. It's very hard at the moment. Thank you so much.

[Hidden]

Dear Treeline7

A warm welcome to you into the forum and the vast knowledge and support that it has offered both me and many others.

How do you cope when the carpet has been pulled from underneath you? there simply is no answer that I can give that can truly comfort you through this first of many stages.

The main thing that I can tell you is that you are not alone and if its help you need then this is the place that can guide and advise you when you are ready to ask the second of many questions that you have.

I say second because the first brought you here to us and what a brave question it is.

I for one wanted to know everything about what was to happen, its procedure and the out come. others only want to know the minimal to get though.

And get though you will, with your loved ones and our help, you will be able to look back on this shocking time and realise that finding out the information that you have, has saved your life and extended it hopefully with a new one.

Take care, we are here for you at every stage

[Treeline7 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for you considered and kind reply. I am a 63yr old male, always been active and eaten healthy. Suppose I tend to overthink and want detail, that me, probably done too much of that already, suppose I need to step back a bit and take each stage as it come. I also worry about the burden I will become on my family, no matter what they say. Thanks for you comments they have helped already, will try to take them on board.

[Hidden]

Hello

When we get news like this we are going to panic and accepting your reaction is normal and that there will be so many that have been told the same as you that are feeling just the same , posts on here alone proves that

I answered your last post and I think it is time we need to come to terms with what we have been told

Talking to close family , friends anyone you can trust as well as talking on here about how you feel you need to let it all out and make sense of it all talking with others is a huge help in doing so

We are all different how we cope but taking one step at a time worked for me not going to far ahead of myself so first taking in a triple bypass was what I needed

For me I do not like to know to much till I have to but talking with others that had been here I found a big help and keeping of Google was a must for me as that tells you the worst scenarios which are extremely rare

I am not sure if you are female , male how old you are how you got to finding this out but the more we know about you and the type of person you are does help when we are answering

For instance I am a very extremely anxious person and I let everyone know and everyone has always been so kind when replying to me bearing this in mind and I think I can honestly say they may have adapted there replies nearing in mind my anxiety but at the same time telling me the truth

The support you will get on here really will help so much as know one knows what you are going through other than someone that has been there before

Just take each day as it comes some days will feel better than others but go with them knowing it is normal

When each stage leading up to the operation comes along know you have here to come and ask what to expect what it is like and we will answer you

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time , stay close to those you can talk to and you will get through this x

[Swalecliffe88]

Dear Treeline7 I echo the welcome words of my fellow hearties above. My triple by pass was 8 years ago now and groups like this were not so well used or known about then. So suffered those few weeks between finding out and being restored to on top of the world with just the support of family and close friends. Firstly you will not be a burden to them! You will only need their practical help for the lead up to your op and a few weeks after. It’s not as though this makes you a lifetime dependant, but I understand your concerns and have said and felt the same I nor anyone else can make you feel different. But your precious to your loved ones and they just want you to look after you too. I can’t stop you being scared either, as to you it is a momentous awakening to mortality . I used the few weeks between for getting my life and affairs sorted. Sounds extreme but strangely cathartic to know you are able to. Then you can put yourself in the hands of the surgeons and say ok do it I’m ready !!! BUT on wakening on the other side of your op. You will have joined our club of millions of survivors who have kicked mortality back in the whatsits 😫😫and said NOT YET I still have a lot of living to do. And you will, after that small period of recovery time be a renewed person. Ok a wiser person that is just gonna be a little bit more respectful of mortality in the future. But I can guarantee you will be a person who feels a whole lot better than you do now. Us hearties will be your crutch till then, your wheelchair through recovery and a lifelong hearty friend for you an those who mortality will scare in the future. Good luck there is always one or two of us awake whenever time your fear takes you over.

[outofwhack]

Might I say relax! There is no point worrying yourself. You have nothing to do as you can't do the surgery yourself. You are lucky because you have been found and will be fixed

[Mrbojangles]

hi Treeline,

My father had a triple bypass years ago and within a month he was back golfing, drinking Guinness and barking at lorry drivers.

He maintained it was like having a new engine and lived another 20 years quite happily.

Considering how science and medicine have evolved since then i think you will be in good hands.

Stay safe.

👍👍

[gorillaqueen]

Hello I so understand how you feel I’m having a triple bypass this coming Friday (4th) It seems I’m unable to think about anything else, disturbed sleep, can’t concentrate it’s on my mind 24/7. I’m angry and completely overwhelmed. Arguing with my hubby over the most stupid trivial mundane things and so scared. I’ve always been a positive person and don’t like making a fuss but now feel this is changing me. All I can say to you is you will definitely get the support and help you need on here everyone is amazing. I’m trying to relax with breathing exercises, meditation, listening to classical music or in my case any music helps. Relaxing in a nice warm bath with candles and music is another good one, going for a walk. Just make time for you. Do you know when your surgery will be ? I do hope this helps good luck and your not alone. Take care X.

[Handel in reply to gorillaqueen]

You'll be a new lady following the op and will enjoy Christmas and have many more happy new years to come! Lots of love Jan xxxx

[gorillaqueen in reply to Handel]

Thank you so much all the help and support on here really helps. I’ve just read your reply to Treeline7 and the bit about the surgeon made me laugh which is definitely a good thing X.

[Handel in reply to gorillaqueen]

Hello gorillaqueen. I think most surgeons have a weird sense of humour. Ours certainly did and I have to say, he put our minds at rest.

My hubby and me wish you all the best. Hubby has a dental appointment on November 4th and sort of wished he could swap places with you!!!!

We'll be thinking of you on Friday and don't forget to let us know how you're getting on. You might have a few questions when you're back home. Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxx

[gorillaqueen in reply to Handel]

I agree in a weird way they do put our minds at rest. Tell your hubby I will definitely swap and thank you both for your kind wishes Xx.

[Handel in reply to gorillaqueen]

😂💕💕💕 Honestly, you'll be fine. Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxx

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to gorillaqueen]

So gorillaqueen your renewal date is coming up this week 😃I do completely understand how you are thinking about it constantly. I did exactly the same I am sure my daughter spent her time looking skyward every time I spoke as it was my only topic of conversation. whether it was being frustrated at what front opening bra to get, to buying front opening nightdresses to telling her where to find financial stuff should things not turnout right, to all manner of nonsense things that I would never let worry me normally. You are just being exactly the same as every one of your fellow hearties were that have gone before you. Or that are on the same path now. And if any of them say they did not worry and feel apprehensive or even scared stiff they are not being honest with you or their selves. Unless of course it was an emergency op then of course no time to think. I said above your renewal date, because that is what it is. In just a few weeks you are going to be feeling so good about yourself, for having been so brave, for just being able to do things again without fear or pain and to be just feeling so well and alive. Trust me I am a survivor Yeah 🤪🤪!!

[gorillaqueen in reply to Swalecliffe88]

Thank you again this is so helpful. Everyone is always telling me how strong and positive I am but I feel so vulnerable and stressed at the moment. You have hit the nail on the head regarding wanting to put things in order, It’s so difficult having conversations with our families as no matter what age they are we never stop being their mothers. I was so hoping that I would not need a bypass and could have stents, If I’m honest I’m still trying to find a way out of this regarding medication stents whatever. Maybe I’m being silly but as the day gets closer the worse I’m feeling. Joining this forum though has helped so much and I keep trying to think positively, reading everyone’s stories on here has really given me a lift I love some of the humour everyone has been amazing. I’m going to try and speak to my cardiac nurse today who is lovely and also practice what I preach regarding relaxation. Thank you again, take care X.

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to gorillaqueen]

Well whatever you get to have on 4th my thoughts will be with you. I don’t know much about stents. But know more about medication and although easy for me to say now. I know I would go now for the complete package of new plumbing. But of course we can all be very wise with hindsight and you are the one who knows what is best for you mentally. All the very best 👍👍

[gorillaqueen in reply to Swalecliffe88]

CABG is what I’m booked for and that’s what they’ve said I need. So I just need to accept it get on with it and stop trying to jump ship. Easier said than done as I’m sure you understand. Thank you X.

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to gorillaqueen]

Yes I totally understand. And all the platitudes I have in my vocabulary will not make it really any easier for you. I like you came to the same conclusion I can’t change the cards I’ve been dealt. So just got to grit my teeth and get on with it. My daughter would also tell you what my first words to her were when being brought out of sedation. She phoned to find out how I was and nurse held phone to my ear for me I was still quite groggy but remember well. First thing I said was “ I DID IT” daughter said “ yes mum you did and I am so proud of you and so happy I have you back. “ like you said we never stop being a mum. I did it for her in the end and so pleased I did. Take care X

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to Swalecliffe88]

Hello been thinking of you today. Hope it when ok. Don’t expect to hear from you for a while but just thought I’d let you know you were being sent good luck and happy thoughts. X

[Swalecliffe88 in reply to gorillaqueen]

Hello wrote a post to you yesterday sending you lots of good luck and thoughts for your big day. But think I ended up just replying to my own last message 🤣🤣 hey ho can’t be good at everything LOL. Anyway hope all went according to plan and although don’t expect to hear from you yet. Let us all know you are ok when you feel ready. 🍾🍾 Here’s to start of new life and recovery x

[Pingpongu3a]

, Hi Don't worry it is the best thing that can now happen to you, I had a triple bypass in 2004 after ah eart attack, then some top up stents in 2009, Attended cardiac support rehab group for many years until covid struck and closed a lot of facilities. Now i am 83 and walk the dog every day, garden on a regular basis, and this afternoon I will attend u3a table tennis group and as the oldest one there, play for two hours, then later this evening sing in a choir.

Life is good ,so don't worry a whole new chapter will open up for you.

[Handel]

Hello Treeline7. I can only echo what my husband went through. He was 67 when the shock diagnosis came in 2018 and until then had done all the right things like eating properly and walking loads etc.

His breathing became laboured and that's when investigations started. That was in June 2018. He was originally going to have a triple bypass but ended up having a quadruple. As the surgeon said "I might as well repair another bit of pipe work while I'm in there!"

Your family will want to help so don't think you're being a burden at all. you won't be out of action for long after the op.

Hubby has his op in the middle of November and was flying to watch horse racing in Ireland on December 27th 2018 (with the blessing of the surgeon and doctor (and the insurance people!!).

He had the op on the Monday and was home eating beans on toast on the Friday. My only regret was putting Sky Sports on his hospital TV on the Thursday!! He didn't get to watch much at all!

You'll probably have loads of questions and so will your family, so keep on posting!

I would advise that you show your family the many replies you will get as this will help calm their fears too.

In the words of my hubby's surgeon "I could do this op with a blindfold on and one arm tied behind my back - you'll have to wait until you wake up after the op to find out!"

Lots of love. Jan xxxx

[Beardie100]

i agree with outofwack...be grateful that they have diagnosed your problems and know how to fix you. Now, focus on getting yourself as fit as you can to have the op and have the best recovery you can.

[Heyjude31]

Hello Treeline7, not much to add to all the other hearties, I am just over a year post bypass x 4. The best advice for me would be, be kind to yourself, take the meds and do as you are told! Softly, softly and your recovery will be great. It takes time and patience with ourselves and our loved ones. Accept all the support you are offered grab it with both hands. When you are offered Cardiac rehab, please make sure you take it up, it has been the best thing for me! Wonderful people with shared experience.

No lifting more than half a kettle for a few weeks. Gentle walking, I think I was sitting in a chair eating the day after, albeit little amounts. As other hearties have said, the surgeons do these operations every day and call them routine! My surgeon and his team will forever be my heroes.

Today I had a brisk walk for about an hour after volunteering at the local BHF shop, for a few hours., for the first time. Iwas so chuffed when I did my first sale!

Take good care, we are with you all the way, Judi 🤗

[reidmar]

I think most of us on here had the same shock in various forms and levels but the way I looked at it was it’s a better position that it’s been discovered and somethings being done about it to aid and improve the situation. I went from an exploratory angiogram to find out what was causing my quick deterioration in health to not being released from hospital such was their concern, quickly followed with a quadruple bypass in exactly 2weeks such was the poor results they found, so in some ways i didn’t have too long to think about things. I found out much later that my poor wife was called back on the day of test to be taken into a room and told the news that I wasn’t coming home as they were so concerned that I was at severe risk of, as they apparently put it, “I would hit the ground and not get up”. (And I thought I was the only one effected). Best advice I can give is talk as much as possible about concerns you may have, try to remember that these guys are doing this day in and day out (almost routine for them) and try to be thankful of being given extended time for life to be lived. Wishing you well and improved health for the future. Take care.

[sampaloc0624]

look at it as a lucky chance to get yourself fixed and correct what ever was wrong before. Wishing you successful procedure and good recovery

[E16Pat]

Hi I know how you feel, I herd 6 weeks ago now I’m waiting, like you getting very anxious, kept myself fit, are you taking medication, I really understand how you feel, please try and keep positive and take care

Pat Mr

[Treeline7 in reply to E16Pat]

Thank you. The waiting makes us anxious, keeping fit is important and a focus. I am taking medication, I understand how you are feeling too. Take care and thanks for getting in touch.