Does the heartache of bereavement eve... - Bereavement Care ...
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Seems that most of us feel it doesn't get any easier! When you love someone it never dies and the pain of loss never dies!
I have to say, I am in agreement with Evelyn. Some learn to cope and move on with life and I suppose we all have to cope to a certain degree but for many, it doesn't ease.
Thank you for you reply.
Chloe
I agree
Thank you Auddonz good to hear from you.
Chloe
Chloe, Personally I am going to start therapy in hopes that will help me.
Auddonz (Audrey)
I personally am finding it so very hard to let go. I am still feeling guilty that I could not stop what happened despite being told millions of times, there was nothing I could do.
This time of year is not helping either as next weekend marks the six month anniversary of losing my baby sister and also eight months since losing our dad. We have lots of family birthdays coming up and we have just completed the sale of our childhood home. So missing them both and our mum, who passed away last year, so badly.
Today, we have been invited to a memorial service at the hospital Intensive care unit, where my beautiful sister passed away, so I am completely over whelmed.
For me personally, it is as raw as when it happened.
Oh my dear...it is still too soon yet for you to heal . I'm not saying it ever gets easy mind you...but some time in the future you will find yourself remembering all of them with less pain. God Bless you...
Thank you Gram214 
x
Thinking of you JOLLYDOLLY Its been hardly any time at all and I understand what you are going through. I do hope it starts to ease in the near future
Thank you Kitti1, It seems forever but only like yesterday. Is it like that for you?
I am a little more weepy at the moment as today marks a anniversary for me with my health, (I am lucky to be here) but I have always thought, I was saved to care for JennyWren, now I have not got that anymore - so with Christmas approaching and everyone saying how festive they feel, makes me a little sad.
Hope you are ok and coping well? Take care xx
Hello JOLLYDOLLY
I have been so hoping to hear from you on the forum, please do copy and paste your post onto there, there's so many who care and would like to support you. You've been through such a painful time and after today,you must be so full of painful emotions {{{Hugs}}}
Chloe
In the last 26 years I have lost mother, grandmother,, father in Law, uncle, aunt. husband and cousin. Time dulls the losses, but a memory such a a photograph or a song. will bring it back into sharp focus. I am now the Matriarch of my family, so anyone else will be younger than me.
My dad used to called me the "Matriarch" I took it as a back handed compliment and with a smile as when he said it initially, he was not being very nice about certain things born out of frustration.
However, he was ok in the end and was thankful for all that I did.
I am guessing I am now the Matriarch as I am the oldest, in my childhood family.
Take care
Hell there Midori
It's good to hear from you. So many losses! yes, time dulls the pain but it's amazing how it comes back in an instant, when you are reminded. Now, you have a big responsibility being the Matriarch,enjoy it, please don't be worried about it.
Chloe
In the last 5 years both my beautiful sons have died 6 months apart one 49 and one 47
I have lost my partner. My best friend of 50 years and her husband and my brother
No it does not get better and I don’t think it ever will
Cathl
Bless your heart Catcon01,
You have lost so many people in your life. I am so sorry for your losses, especially your sons - that must be devastating.
I have never lost a child, but my sister Jenny who has Down Syndrome (I can't say it past tense), was my life and like a daughter to me for 53 years. Losing her so suddenly in May, was like losing one of my daughters. I gave up work to initially care for my mum and then her. So now, I am lost. Trying to find a new "normal"
My heart goes out to you. I am always here if you want to chat but send you a huge hug.
Oh Cathl catcon
That's just awful, I'm so sorry. To lose your sons and partner, well words fail me, I just want to give you a {{{hug}}} and now your best friend and her husband, life's so cruel at times, I find it so hard to come to terms with it, the pain you must be feeling is indescribable.
Come and chat with us soon on the forum Cathl.
Chloe
I could not select an answer from the options listed.
Perhaps the heartache changes without getting easier, just different.
I don't think it gets easier you just learn over time to live along side of it.
That is an excellent answer..I love that ! It's so true...you live along side of it indeed.
Hi my name is Julie I lost my 19 year old son five years the 17th of November this year he was my only child at the time I now have his little brother who he never gt to meet it does get a little easier but God itz hard I hve memories and pictures anniversaries are always hard same as birthdays
The pain of losing a loved one will always be there, but the first initial very raw pain of loss does fade in time.
Hi bikergrove
There are so many elements to our emotions as we travel through the pain of bereavement, that every experience is unique as an individual.
Chloe
I lost my Husband 4.5 years ago, for 2.5 years I seem to get on with it, just sad, GP put me on antidepressants, which didn't agree with me, just made me worse, now I have a lot of anxiety.... I am very lonely and missing him badly, don't have friends... I gave up my job to look after him helped him with his hobbies, then when he passed I didn't just loose him I lost the looking after him as well live on my own..... My kids worry about me, lost so much weight.... I so miss him, I don't know what to do with myself anymore.... The pain is so bad
Hilary , things do improve and you must work at every day .Plan your diary with something good for each day . Do you love dogs . They offer unconditional love and someone who cares and understands how you feel . I am going through my second widowed .
Hello hilarybarnett11
I'm very sorry to read that you are suffering, please do post on the forum to chat with others, our members always give each other support{{{hugs}}
You gave your all caring for your husband and lost yourself in the process, we all need something, anything to call our own but many of us do the same thing, it's totally understandable.
Chloe x
for me ive learned to live with it better but as soon as I think about my son having 90 skull fractures I'm back in the mode like it just happened.
Oh kenster1
How you have managed to pull yourself up, I'll never know but what I do know is that I admire you so much. You are bound to experience the terrible distress you felt when it happened and I can't even begin to think how bad that was. Stay strong my friend.
Chloe
thanks chloe.even got robbed of donating his organs due to the accident.it was that bad.
I feel the pain of losing a loved one changes. For me it is always there in some form. Sometimes all encompassing sometimes on the backburner and every place in between. I feel a part of me has gone, disappeared although I am starting to catch brief glimpses of my high spirits. Now they are always followed by the most crushing life draining low.
In six days time it will be the third anniversary of my partner's passing. I cared for him at home with the help of daily visits from the most wonderful 'end of life' carers, district nurses and a fabulous GP. My partner passed away at home as he wished.
These last twelve months have been the hardest, waiting for counselling. The pain feels as intense, my love for him still grows, I miss him more and I yearn for him so much. I have also started to have days where I feel I am starting to live once more, little things like finding beauty in nature. Small positive shoots are evident whether I choose to acknowledge them or not, they are there. Life without my partner frightens me but I have managed to get through three years............... one day at a time.
Lottie xx
You have been through so much heartache and pain Hidden as so many of our members but everyone of you suffer differently. Since your loss, the frustrations of trying to get the support you need have been insurmountable but you have somehow managed to get through this barrier and you will again.
Stay strong and grab those shoots every time they appear and hold on to them longer and tighter than ever before.
Chloe x
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