Politically Correct Rudolph

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...

Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved


Original: Had a very shiny nose ...

Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a

nasal appendage of a bright maroon lustre.

Original: And if you ever saw him ...

Translation: Consequently, if circumstances

were to present themselves that he ever came

into your view,

Original: You would even say it glows ...

Translation: You would most undoubtedly

remark at to its illuminable qualities.

Original: All of the other reindeer ...

Translation: The multitude of other members of

the population in his ecological community,

Original: Used to laugh and call him names ...

Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled

boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable

pseudonyms -- the objective of which was to

lower his self-esteem and make him miserable.

Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in

any reindeer games ...

Translation: They also excluded him from

participation in leisure activities consistent

with their species.

Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve ...

Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth

of December in an unspecified year...

Original: Santa came to say ...

Translation: A mythological, supernatural being

inherent to western culture (who symbolizes

the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings gifts

to children) arrived through the super-saturated,

humid air.

Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright ...

Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due to

his extraordinary nasal characteristic.

Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Translation: To stand at the forefront of his snow

vehicle with the express purpose that he navigate

through the nocturnal mist.

Original: Then all the reindeer loved him ...

Translation: At that point, the multitude of other

members of the population in his ecological community

who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and

dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their

disposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial,

amicable relationship.

Original: And they shouted out with glee ...

Translation: They consequently exclaimed with great

exaltation and fervor,

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...

Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a

maroon nasal appendage,

Original: You'll go down in history!

Translation: You shall most certainly be recorded in

the annals of time, and your memory will be

preserved for posterity!

5 Replies

  • *Likes*

  • Rotflmao!

  • Me also likes, PS Chris can see from the Off Topic section, that either your new net book is becoming addictive or you are just simply very sad and have nothing better to do with your time right now. Mind you I am very sad too right now and can't be bothered to do anything else, so thanks for the entertainment keep it up.

  • netbook addiction...do they do rehab? lol

  • Woody

    Wired for Offbeat and Odd Delights for You.