My mom passed less than 2 years ago, ... - Lung Conditions C...
My mom passed less than 2 years ago, her insides completely deteriorated. I want to know how long she was this bad before she passed?
Sorry you have not had a reply yet. Sorry to hear your mother died. This is a strange question and I don't know how to respond. It would depend entirely on her illness and what she died of. Only her gp or specialist could possibly know this. Can you ask them? No one here can answer this.
I ditto what was said above,none of us can help with this.
So sorry to hear of your loss,take one day at a time xxx
When someone you love dearly dies there are often many questions that won't go away. coughalot is right, only her gp could answer that. I went through similar thoughts when my mom and then my dad died. It may be worth you talking to your gp, counselling may help you find the answers you need. Good luck. xxxx
Hi, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. It's so hard when a loved one dies and we search for answers. I too am wondering if you need some help with the long proccess of grieving.
Because you have come to this site then it must be a lung related disease that your mum had?
There are so many connotations and variations to lung disease so it would help to have a few details from the doctor.
A friend of mine and her sister lost their mum 3 years ago, she had been mis diagnosed (treated for indigestion when she had cancer of the gall bladder). They got the medical records eventually but gave up the fight because one sister was against it, she works for the NHS. They decided to let her rest in peace
I dont know if there is a legal limit to how long you have access to a deceased's medical records. I wish you all the luck in the world.
PS. Things are different over here in the UK. We don't have the high litigation culture as the US and we have our often wonderful NHS, free to all & only pay for prescriptions over 18 & under 60 years.
I would think medics are extremely careful over there, no?
Thanks to all for your response, I'm new to this site and don't really know what I'm doing. I am having a very difficult time dealing with the loss of my mom! We were extremely close, my best friend in all the world!! She had health problems for around 8 years before she passed. She went through a couple major surgeries and several minor ones. It was all caused from blocked arteries to her stomach plus she also had asthma very bad, was on breathing treatments several times a day and oxygen at night. She was also a diabetic.The day before she passed, she went in to have a stint put in, for the 3rd time, this was outpatient surgery, she was to come back home the same day. But something went wrong so they took her back into surgery and dicovered that her insides were completely deteriorated and there was nothing they could do. By this time, her blood pressure medication was the only thing keeping her alive! My sister, my stepdad and I had to make the decision to let her go as peacefully as possible. Hardest decision EVER!!!! They took her off all machines and all medications, 20 minutes later she was gone!! My sister and I held her hands as she took her last breath!! For months before this happened she seemed to have been much better, she appeared happy and pain free most days, which is why it is so hard for me to deal with this STILL!! June 28th will be 2 years and it's constantly on my mind, I just don't understand how she could in such bad shape and no one knew it! According to my step dad, even the doctors didn't know she was so bad until it was too late!!!!
My dear Gigi,
What a traumatic time this was. Also what courage you had to take this decision, and you did!
I don't think anybody can answer the how, unless a coroner was involved. I'm not sure of the procedure to ask . the hospital is probably the best place where you could get an answer.
Now, that you let go, by holding your mum's hand to say good bye.
It's time for you to find a bereavement group. Cruise comes up to my mind. But you may have a local group too (churches have some too and are very comforting, as they really know what a person goes through)
The BLF helpline 03000 030 555 from 9am to 5pm weekdays can perhaps guide you to where you can get the information you want and the bereavement group you need.
My thoughts go with you and hope you can find a satisfactory solution that will enable you to go forward.
hi gigi, so sorry to read your story, and is clear to see how much your mum meant to you, and how that loss has affected you.
i just want to share a little of my experience
my mother died recently on the 31st january this year. she was 82. she had on going health issues, but right up till the week before she died she was living on her on, and the day before she was admitted to hospital she had driven herself off to Asda for her weekly shop.
her main issues were around congestive cardiac failure. she had been a smoker all her life, but stopped about 5 years when the CCF became more acute and she was hopsitalised. we thought we were going to loose her then, but she had a really good 5 additional years, for which we are grateful.
i suspect that she hid a lot of her health issues from me. i am an only child and live about 60 miles away. i kept in contact with her by phone and visited at least once a week. but like i say, i think its possible that her health may not have been as great as she would let me believe. that being said, she still was looking after herself, cooking and her fridge always had 'healthy' food in it (LOL aside from the 10 cartons of haagandas ice cream we found in her freezer!!!)
anyway, the week before she died she took herself off to A/E having had a massive gastric bleed that came from no where. the medics stabalised her, and for a day or so i thought she might pull through. then her heart and kidneys said nup, no more, had nuff. she died peacefully the following morning
the night before we left her in the ward, with instructions that we wanted a call if any change. we got that call around midnight, and we got there within a couple of hours. she was now in intensive care with all sorts of attachments. doc called us in and said we are doing blah blah blah.
i had both my adult children with me, and i looked at them and said do you think this is what grandma would want?
the medics discontinued medications etc and she died 4 hours later with us all around her bedside
hardest decision i ever made. so i understand what you are saying gigi. i miss my mum dreadfully. the old girl was spirited and feisty, and was a stubborn old bugger. but she was my stubborn old bugger, and i loved and respected her for that.
the thing i keep coming back to is quality of life, and i guess this i what i am wanting to share with you and leave with you gigi. mum did have on going health issues, i suspect that they were deteriorating quietly in the background, despite what it might have looked like.
IF (massively huge if!!!!!) the medics had managed to stabilize her again she would never have gone back to her wee butt and ben, and that would have destroyed her.
hard hard hard though it has been i can recognise that the decision i made wasnt about me and what i felt. it was about my mum, and for my mum, and what she would have wanted. for me, i did the right thing
her health had deteriorated, even though the external appearance didnt necessarily evidence that deterioration, and sometimes this can and does happen. so i focus on the life she had, what she meant to me, hubby, kids and their pards. we all have unique and special memories of her, and those special memories of the feisty stubborn old bugger are what i want to keep.
no one says the grieving process is easy, and god knows it isnt. but i am 2 months down that road, and doing what i can to heal and repair that massive hole i have in my heart.
gigi, i wish you the strength and the courage to face that grieving process, and hope that as time goes by you can remember your mum as she was and what she meant to you
love
carlam
xx
What a lovely post carlam . I lost my dad at 19 and my mum when I was 37 .Being an only child, I found that the " girl " in me had now finally gone . Can anyone else relate to that.?
