To diagnose or not???

I have always thought that my ten year old son thinks differently and to my shame I have found this very frustrating at times. Recently other family members have suggested that I look into an ASD diagnosis to ensure that he receives adequate support in high school. I have always thought that I didn't want to put a label on him as he appears to cope well at primary school, he has friends and appears to cope socially however he does worry about things. He likes routine and becomes very emotional if his routine changes. For example if I tell him we are going out for the day at the weekend he's fine but if I spring it on him then he gets upset. It is very difficult to get him to do homework however if the topic is of interest to him like history then he becomes obsessed with the topic and researches and talks about it continuously. I recently read an article about a man that was diagnosed in adulthood and he spoke about how hard it was for him at school and how he always felt different and that there was something wrong with him! This lead to anxiety and depressions as he began adulthood and it really hit home that maybe not getting a diagnosis is the wrong thing.

Any advise would really be appreciated.

2 Replies

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  • It's a tricky decision to make. If you think it would really be beneficial to him then look into a diagnosis but remember that when he's a man he will have that label and be classed as having a disability. This could affect his career choice or if he wanted to adopt etc. I think most of my family are on the spectrum a bit and we've all got anxiety and other mental health issues but it doesn't really matter what the cause is. Good luck

  • I would say that you ought to get a diagnosis as when he is older other young people can be very unkind and make fun of him. He could suffer psychological damage as a result or even be physically attacked by bullies. To understand one's own condition is key to coping with problems that can arise. My foster son seemed quite happy in his interests and way of life but eventually told my friend how he felt and said that I knew but did nothing to help him. Basically he thought I could see into his mind and knew how he struggled but was not interested in helping him, whereas from my observation, he was just living his life in a slightly different but happy way. We tried to get help for him then but Psychologists said that he was 'eccentric, and he'd always be that way' as at the time people in the UK had not heard of Asperger Syndrome. Given the correct help at a young age would have helped him, I'm sure. He was not diagnosed until 27 years of age and by then had suffered greatly and lost out on the right education even thought he has a very high IQ. Miriam

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