Attachment

[jododo]

Does anyone know much about attachment? My son is 6 and there are issues.

[ZacsmumLou]

Hi jododo, I trained as a counsellor and work with children and parents mostly supporting them around their attachment.

(I also had ppp last year)

Could you explain a little bit more maybe?

[Hidden]

Hello Jododo,

I have a professional background as Pedagogist (teaching and learning, children and adolescence from 0-18). Therefore familiar with attachment theories and practice.

Maybe you could explain a bit more & ZacsmumLou and I could describe our experiences with subject matter, which may relate to your question...

Take care x

[jododo]

Thanks so much for replying both of you. It's rather a long story and I'm just off on hols until Saturday so not sure quite when I'll get into it

[ZacsmumLou]

No rush, have a lovely holiday 😊

[Hidden]

Yes, jododo...all in stepping stones and have a fabulous holiday. x

[jododo]

Hi, sorry to go silent, it's been a bit mad round here!

So basically my son has had referrals to paediatrician and CAMHS a couple of years ago, assessment for ASD, and a year of play/psychotherapy. He's also been getting a lot of SEN support at school. His behaviour and our relationships have greatly improved but we'd kind of been left in limbo with CAMHS work having ended, no diagnosis, and basically told to go back to paediatrics if anything changed.

We recently had the annual review with school SENCO and I asked her opinion on the root of the issue. We have a really good open relationship so I trust her. Upshot is, attachment issues. She's leant me a book and I've been reading up on reputable websites, and it fits like a glove. It also fits the way CAMHS treated him though they never said (or I never understood) exactly why.

Me and my husband are both in a much better place now, but we really weren't well particularly for those crucial first 3 years, and while he was physically well cared for we can't have been as dependable as he needed. I'm trying hard not to beat myself up. I had PP then depression, husband had depression. Thanks to time, meds, and (in my case) a heck of a lot of psychotherapy to face up to childhood abuse, we're doing a lot better. He clearly is attached, just not as securely as we would want.

So the question is, what do we do about it now? All the advice I can find on the subject is aimed at adoptees.

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Hi Jododo - hope you all had a lovely holiday.

I don't know very much about parent-infant relationships/attachment but there are a lot of "experts" out there and I wonder if you could possibly ask to be referred for some sort of parent-infant therapy (some regions call these "PIP" programmes). They tend to be a bit separate from perinatal MH services, as often the issues crop up much later.

I'm glad you all seem to be doing so well! Perhaps the reason the medical interventions have stopped is that the CAMHS team think things will resolve naturally over time? Children are really resilient, I firmly believe!

Best of luck and all good wishes

Katg