it was over 4 years ago, soon after the birth of my daughter, that i first made myself vomit and have been doing it on and off from there however months can go by where i dont think about doing it. I feel like i can stop it just as soon as i start it and although at the very start i was vomiting up my tea, which was the only meal i was eating, now most of the time im still having 3 small meals a day and just binge purge on a night with the things my diet deprives me of. im always worried about calories and fat content and i do have irrational fears about food, weight gain and body image, i keep my calorie intake (not including the food i binge on) to around 1000 a day and im constantly adding them up and weighing out food potion sizes but this adds to the feeling of wanting to binge/purge. This probably sounds so stupid but im just really confused about what to do, seek help or just stop by myself again?!? please help!