Living with Anorexia

I've suffered for over 30 years now - never quite bad enough to be hospitalised - and coping with life - but living with it sure aint easy - especially within a marriage and having a partner who is now over 50 and trying to lose weight. Does anyone else struggle with this - I find it so hard as I'm trying to provide him with the right sort of meals - but as I compare all the time with him/others - it means my diet is gradually slipping too. I have tried to get help - but due to where I live there are no services available - especially as I don't drive - so I am having to "go it alone".

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  • Hi, im also going it alone but it mainly because ive gone so long with this illness that its almost like a comfort blanket, even though I hate it. I tried recovering after a spell in hospital but its gone out of the window x

  • Although Ive suffered just over 10 years not 30 and not married or anything, I can empathise with you. In the early days as a teen when it begun, my nan was recooperating at my home following an operation and was on a low fat diet. This caused me to draw attention to what i eat and think that i should cut out fat. However more currently, though i am controlled very much by my anorexia, my dad is now on a new heart healthy plan and focusing on what he eats and doesn't eat, but this is not affecting my eating. I guess because i know deep down i dont eat enough and also my dad has valid reason to do what he does.

    Sometimes you just have to make facts rule over feelings. be honest, why is your husband trying to lose weight, i guess it is following doctors advice. I also guess the doctor HAS NOT advised this for you. I like you also do not drive and live in an isolated area.

    You need to find some you time. What about bribing yourslef?............i do it sometimes, and think about where it could lead, It could lead to hospitalisation, and unless that is what you want then you will need to use this as a motivator.

    Im not saying it is easy or it will even make a difference as i know we can very often be people who'd fit very well into the saying of "Pot and black kettle" Also maybe find a time when you could speak to your husband????? Dont engage in negativity. We can be negative enough ourselves so you do not need anyone elses influence.

    Remeber what you wnat and don't want.

    Sorry, I have a tendancy to ramble and not edit what I write. All the best.

  • I am really struck by how much we all have in common as a community. I too have been struggling with my disorder for over twenty years and live in a rural community with few support services and no car. (I really empathise with Spiritgirl's comment too - my bulimia is draining the life out of me but I find it impossible to envisage a life without it. I was a girl when I found it. It has shaped me. Who would I be without it?)

    I understand how difficult it is to prepare food for other people. I really struggle to prepare a meal for myself so to take on the responsibility of feeding others is overwhelming. You're managing to do this everyday - I'm in awe. However is this necessary? Does your husband know that you are beginning to struggle in this way? Would he consider taking on the preparation of some of his own meals - at least until you're feeling stronger? Maybe this is no help to you at all but sometimes the people around us just don't see how much we're struggling until we point it out!!!! Also have you been to your GP? There are no eating disorder services near me either but in the past I have had a lot of support from a psychologist who came to my local surgery once a week once I'd been refered to her.

    I hope some of this helps. Hang in there. You are not going through this alone.x

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