How can I help my daughter avoid a re... - Anorexia Bulimia ...

Anorexia Bulimia Care

3,281 members1,438 posts

How can I help my daughter avoid a relapse into anorexia


My 17 year old daughter has confided in me that she’s having anorexic thoughts again. She’s been well for the past 2 years and was officially discharged last summer. What should I do? I’m terrified I’ll do the wrong thing.

4 Replies

It must be so hard for you - I know my parents struggled to know what to say and how to react - like treading on eggshells. Listening is the best thing - let her talk through her thoughts and anxieties - perhaps gently reflect back to her the journey she has taken to get well. It may also be helpful for her to get back in touch with her previous counsellors perhaps for a chat about the feelings that are now recurring before they develop further. Anorexia and Bulimia Care have a carers helpline which you might find helpful.

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. Walking on eggshells is exactly how we feel. It’s also come as a shock to my husband and I. We had allowed ourselves to relax, thinking her ED was all in the past. This lockdown has been tough for her as well, so I’m hoping getting back to college will give her more to think about, and being able to meet up with her friends will be great.

I think it’s great that you are reaching out to help support your daughter. There is a resource that might be useful to you called the F.E.A.S.T. Forums. I don’t know how active it is right now but it has an archive of questions from parents trying to help their Children overcome EDs. One thing I did learn from those forums, as an adult looking for guidance for my own recovery, is that many of the parents found that there did come a point in the weight restoration process where the ED thoughts got less dominant. The idea is the closer the child got to their natural or setpoint weight the less vulnerable they are, psychologically, to ED thoughts. Learning this was enough to motivate me to continue with recovery and weight restoration because I was very curious if this was actually true. I have been in recovery for almost 3 years and I would say There was a point when the voice got quieter and less dominant.

I would also suggest looking into Tabatha Farrar’s (a recovered person and ED counselor) YT channel and blog. Her work has been invaluable for helping me understand the biological functions that lie at the heart of EDs and she provides a lot of encouragement for how to overcome them.

Riclin in reply to LBlu

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I watched a few of Tabatha’s videos, making notes (that’s so me!) as she made comments relevant to our situation. She completely hit the spot with me - she talks such sense. I’m going to continue watching a few each day. I think what has shocked my husband and me is that we thought that our daughter’s ED was over, that we could finally relax, but I guess that’s never really going to happen.

You may also like...