I used to be a binge eater (from what i can recall), then i got depressed so i ate less and got compliments for looking ‘slimmer’ even though when i was heavier friends were jealous that i could eat however much and still stay the same (i think there’s a medical term for it where your body naturally maintains a given set point no matter how much you eat). So anyways, i tried to lose weight by eating healthier and then just flat out starving myself. It was HORRIBLE. Like 4 years of my life were wasted from that (i didn’t go to friends birthdays because food, didn’t go out because weak and hungry, didnt do anything but wither away). So i didn’t have hair on the sides of my cheeks before binge eating, and i don’t recall having it when i did binge eat, but then when i lost A LOT of weight (weighed 80 or 90 lbs as a 5’ 6” grade 10 girl) i noticed in my pictures i got that lanugo hair on my face. So now its been like 4 years from that point. Pretty sure i effed up my insides (my skin seems to have this yellowish tinge to it, i have digestive issues, and my GP never helped even though he SAW that i was overly thin — he just scared me by saying if you don’t eat im going to give you a pill that makes you eat and gain weight. what an idiot. i WISH he referred me to a clinic that specializes in eating disorders. It’s more than just food nimrod.) i also had and still do have skin issues (bacne now and closed comedones on the face). So many problems, i don’t know what to do. I want to eat more now but i feel like it’s always a new disorder im creeping up with (now im fixated on my body). And by the way i never counted calories through all of this. I would literally just starve myself and ignore hunger cues. I don’t know what normal is anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if i should eat more and more until my weight just stays at the same plateu it should have stayed. Or if i should start counting calories to see if i am eating enough. Is fat the new standard? I also have darker hair on my bum and also im pretty sure my thyroid and just everything is messed up. Ugh. I wish this horrible obsession with food would go away. Sorry for venting but i need thoughts. The hair hasn’t gone away from the sides of my cheek. Should it have fallen out or is it vellus hair? It’s pretty long if you ask me.