I'm new here, but I'm 16 and I have been suffering from anorexia for the past 2 years

For the past two years, I've been in a cycle of losing weight, "recovering", relapsing and so on. It's been hell. I've also taken up the terrible habit of binge eating 1-2 times a week, where I'd eat around 5000 calories a day... maybe even more.

It was in July that I was 108 pounds or 49 kgs when I first decided to lose weight, and I'm around 5'1 or 157cm. I lost 6 kilograms or 13 pounds in 2 months, and then I lost 1 more kilo, around two pounds, after school started. I was finally satisfied with my weight, although sometimes I did grow tempted to lose even more. After one instant of binging in November, I remember feeling excruciating stomach pain, and I finally decided for myself that I was going to end the cycle... and I did. It was a lot harder than I'm making it sound, but I did manage to gain back all the weight I lost in 3 months.

And then I was back to feeling so much hatred towards myself, but I had tests and assignments to deal with, so I just couldn't lose weight. I was restricting myself but I was still 108 pounds, so you can imagine how terrible I used to feel. When summer started once more, I lost 5-6 kilograms again, so around 13 pounds, and I was able to maintain it until my midterms, where I ate properly to ensure my grades stay high. But I gained 2 kilograms in the two months I was relentlessly revising and taking my exams.

Now I'm stuck like this. I want to lose around 5 kilograms, but my mother had taken away the scale from and I really want one! How do you suggest that I get a scale?

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Great you've stopped the bingeing - a real step forward.

Suggest you don't get scales but help with the ED which is clearly still in control and affecting your life. A visit to the GP or school/college nurse is probably the best way forward - but if you could talk to your mum about your feelings and anxieties that would be good. I had the same issues as you did at about your age so I do know how you feel - scales are not the answer - in my experience - but just add to the paranoia and the problems - getting to the bottom of the underlying issues that cause you to feel like you do and view your body as you do - as well as some dietary advice to help you move forward towards sensible eating is the way you need to go - so do please seek some treatment/help rather than a way of getting some scales.

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