I've been trying really hard. It's been about a week since I last purged, but I can tell I'm gaining weight. I'm freaking out, but I don't want to go back to it.
I too share anxiety over gaining weight and often impulsively try things to prevent myself from gaining weight. I have also realized that sometimes my "weight gain" is totally based on how I'm feeling that day and may totally not be me gaining weight at all. So may things affect our image of ourselves--bloating, joe much we've eaten, salt and water retention, headspace, what we've viewed on social media that day. Some days I feel totally fine eating a Normal diet and after a few days I will have severe anxiety and almost as a switch has flipped I feel the sudden urge to loose all the "weight" and restrict Like I used to.
Great you've not purged - a real victory. Are you getting any help/support - suggest it would be good if you could get some support during this time - ABC have befrienders who've I found great and who really helped me during times when I was struggling - and helped me look at issues too - but if you could get some counselling to look at your feelings around the need to purge I think it would help long term.
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