I like to think Im in recovery, I'm eating and not shying away from food, and Im not going to the bathroom and purging my meals like before, but I feel as though even though I am eating normally, I'm not putting any weight on... in fact I'm scared I'm still losing weight.
I have the shakes quite a lot, and I get slight tingles in my chest which scare me to death, but I don't understand why because I'm eating and I feel like Im in a great place, but there are times my body doesn't quite agree.
Any for anyone else at a really low point where you don't think you'll ever be able to come out, just find someone... a boyfriend, a friend, your mum or sister, and give them a cuddle. Make them make you feel how loved you really are and remind yourself that this illness is killing them to.
You are never alone, I thought I was and it wasn't until I came to realise the harm I was doing to myself, and how scared and close to death I always felt, that I got to grips and started making small changes.
I know its only the beginning for me, and I just hope that everyone else out there can start making small steps to becoming themselves again, because this illness isn't who you are, and you can find yourself lost and in a struggle to get out, but YOU are still in there, just try to make sure you're the one winning the fight.