Hello! I am not a native English speaker, so excuse my mistakes. I used to be anorexic in my adolescence, but now I am OK. I've maintained healthy weight for 3 years and my BMI is 18.5. I mostly fine with my body image and don't feel fat anymore, but I am still struggling with some problems:
1)I still pay too much attention on weight loss advertisement.When I read ads and articles about diets and weight loss, it makes me feel guilty about my current lifestyle. I feel, like they tell me: "Look at yourself! You are fat and lazy. You should eat less and lose some weight" e.t.c. I understand that this kind of advertisement is addressed to really overweight people, not to me, but that is still very difficult for me to ignore it. When I look at the mirror after reading these ads or articles I feel like I am not skinny enough, my shoulders are too broad and thighs are chubby e.t.c. I just try to ignore this kind of thoughts, because I don't want to have my anorexia relapse, I want to be healthy.
2)My father still doesn't accept my body and constantly call me a "hanger" or "skinny skeleton". He tells me that I am not a "real woman", because "real women have curves". He always inserts himself and try to control me and my weight. It seems, like he remained in the past and doesn't want to notice that I've become normal.
3) My acquaintances never call me fat, most of them still tell me, that I am too skinny, but sometimes I dream about my weight.In these dreams someone calls me overweight and I am trying to prove, that I am not fat and don't need to lose any weight.
4)When I see a thin girl calling herself fat, it also makes me feel big. I have a skinny coworker, who considered herself fat and I feel uncomfortable talking to her.
Before my ED I just had no interest to weight loss topics, but now things have changed. I would like to stop thinking about this and finally accept myself.