I'm really really scared. I think I may be anorexic and I know what I'm doing to myself is bad and I don't want to do it anymore. I've always been small and slim and I used to love dressing up in loads of different kinds of clothes and I was so confident and happy (apart from depression and anxiety but I basically felt that it wasn't all bad and I could get happiness when I wanted to). Then one day I went to get my french result and saw my reflection in a mirror and hated myself with every thing I had inside of me and all I saw was a fat, ugly girl who needed a better life.
At first, I started my weight loss by cutting out junk food and eating less than before, but it escalated from there to the point where I was eating 1 meal a day and doing ridiculous amounts of exercise.
I can now see my ribs, collar bones, hip bones, spine and shoulder blades and I'm so so thin, but I can't make myself stop and just eat. I'm absolutely terrified of what I'm doing to myself and I hate it more and more every day.
I'm desperate for someone to notice, but at the same time I'm terrified they will because then I'll have to stop. Before now, i've had comments off my head of year, but I've just told her that I'm fine and I eat normally and, while she is lovely, Im too scared to go and just tell her everything
Can anyone out there help? I don't know if it's anorexia or just a phase I'm going through. I don't know if everyone gets this at some point and it'll sort itself out or if I need help.