I don't really know how to start this but I hate my body and myself. I physically cannot cope. I hardly eat and what I do eat I later throw up. I don't know why but one day I thought it was a good idea to shove my fingers so far down my throat I could do nothing but vomit. And now that's every day. I'm 5ft 4.5 and weigh 7.6 stone. I weigh myself at least 2 times a day, every day. I have passed out from not eating and vomiting before, and I've had to stop horse riding because of it. People have told me that as I ride, I am definitely underweight, as I have a lot of leg muscle, but I don't get how that's possible. I self harm a lot, and I'm currently very suicidal, and everyday I wish the overdose killed me and I don't know what's stopping me from doing it again. I guess my question is do I have an eating disorder? And how do I stop feeling so low all the time?
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