Bulimia? Anorexia?

I don't really know how to start this but I hate my body and myself. I physically cannot cope. I hardly eat and what I do eat I later throw up. I don't know why but one day I thought it was a good idea to shove my fingers so far down my throat I could do nothing but vomit. And now that's every day. I'm 5ft 4.5 and weigh 7.6 stone. I weigh myself at least 2 times a day, every day. I have passed out from not eating and vomiting before, and I've had to stop horse riding because of it. People have told me that as I ride, I am definitely underweight, as I have a lot of leg muscle, but I don't get how that's possible. I self harm a lot, and I'm currently very suicidal, and everyday I wish the overdose killed me and I don't know what's stopping me from doing it again. I guess my question is do I have an eating disorder? And how do I stop feeling so low all the time?

5 Replies

  • Dear PJ2000, it was very brave of you to share this. You would benefit from professional help. Please take the next brave step of talking to your healthcare provider. The complications you describe indicate that you do have severe symptoms that are causing risk to your physical and mental health. Take the next brave step and speak to a health professional.

    You can and will beat this.

  • Thank you for the reply, I'm going to speak to my gp soon as my parents found out about it last weekend, never really thought of it as brave to share, more cowardly, but thank you.

  • Hi PJ

    I am pleased to hear your parents are in the loop. I have an anorexic daughter. I imagine your parents will be panicking and looking for answers. I have blogged about what has helped me. If your folks want to look at my blog it is at tomagcro.com

    You will get through it.it does take time

    God bless


  • Thanks for replying, and I hope they are, at the moment they arent really helping but im sure they are trying, Ill show them your blog

  • If they are like me they will be rhinos...or jelly fish...see the blog....it's really hard being a dolphin ....but that's what you need. If your paremts wants to email me via the blog I will help if I can

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