I have an issue

Lately I've been having fairly unhealthy thoughts. I've never been anorexic you can look at me and tell. I've also never really been to a professional for help so I'm only assuming that id be diagnosed with EDNOS. The problem is that sometimes I get angry at myself for not being anorexic. I get angry that I don't have enough will power to lose weight and instead I binge. Then I get upset because even though I binge I'm still stuck at the same weight. I can't gain and I can't lose and it angers me. I want to be thin, I'd love to be healthy and thin. It just seems like I can't get there and I'm so sad all the time. I went to a bridal shower the other day and broke down because my arms were to be for a dress I have. I don't like not being able to just wear whatever I want without a care. Sometimes I feel like because I am African American I need to be anorexic to prove that someone like me can have an eating disorder that's not binge eating. I hate that.

3 Replies

  • I am very sorry you are feeling so bad. I am not a professional but I have been diagonised with anorexica. Anorexic people think they are fat even when they weight is dangerously low. I had a simple operation but almost died because Inwas so underweight my blood pressure dropped to a critical level. Anorexica is a disease of the mind that shows itself in your body. I know you don't want to be anorexic! But you do want to be healthy! Exercise and getting outside to enjoy yourself would be a start. Think about what make you binge eat. Stress, boredom, sadness- and then have a plan of what to do when you feel like binge eating. Maybe pick up the phone instead and call a friend. Go take a relaxing bath or shower or journal your thoughts and feeling on some paper. Sincerely talking to a doctor would be very valuable to you. He or she might have ideas that really might make you feel better. I understand about binge eating. It is a lonely thing to do. I hope you feel better soon. Please keep writing in how you are feeling because people on this forum are very kind and care how you are doing.

  • Hi Babybee

    I'm sorry you are struggling with your thoughts regarding your body image and about eating. Experience has shown me that being thin due to anorexia is deeply unattractive to others. I can honestly say that I was happier when I was curvy. Being anorexic is not the answer. It is a miserable way of life.

    It may help if you can find a meal plan based on being a healthy weight - I think there are reputable sources of this info on the web (e.g. NHS websites). I agree with Aspen, some exercise is helpful too. Meals should be regular and not too far apart. This may help to curb the binge feelings.

    If you can recognise those feelings leading top have a binge then you can do something about them as Aspen suggests.

    I wish you all the best and do leave another message whenever you want to.

  • I'm sorry to hear your feeling so down . Losing weight healthily can take time so why don't you set yourself mini goals such as a pound a week until you hit a healthy weight that you feel comfortable with and is achievable. Exercise can really help such as walking more/swimming or even doing exercise classes where you may meet people who have the same goal in mind which can also act as a support network. Eating healthily and finding alternatives for unhealthily snacks may also help. E.g cutting slices of apple and then putting them in oven for 30 mins+ makes a really nice sweet treat but guilt free. Allow yourself a treat on a certain day every week which will make you less likely to have those binge days.

    I hope this is useful

    Take care

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