I have always been comfortable wth my weight. As a child I swam a lot competitively and trained almost every day for an hour. I usually did 1 hour of sport a day and sometimes a lot more. I was extremely toned and had abs as young at 7!!
However as I've grown into a teenager I have up doing so much exercise. I still did around 3 hours a week at least but it was nowhere near what I used to do... I didn't stop eating however. In fact I just kept eating more. Obviously hormones meant my body changed and naturally I became curvier. However last year at 15/16 I got glandular fever which meant that I was out of sport for about a year. I didn't loose my appetite for that long however and I definitely put on weight. This enebr really bothered me and I loved and still do love good so just ate what I enjoyed without so much as a second guess at it
However... Over a period of months. I don't know when it started. I began to become more and more conscious of the weight I had out on. I started looking at myself in the mirror a lot more and criticising parts of my body. And that leads me to where I am today
Currently. I am 17. A small 5'7 and 57.7kg or around 127 pounds. And I know that is normal/ healthy and in fact slim. And I am lucky enogh to have very big boobs (32e). However in my mind it is not.
Recently I am obsessed with my weight. I look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. Taking photos of my body and seeing what it looks like. Punching bits of fat and feeling miserable about it. If I eat something I always check to see the calorie content and am currently nervous when I go out for meals and have to check the menu before to ensure there is something low calorie that I can choose. I am open about trying to loose a bit of weight and tone up. But I have a feeling that this is not normal. I lie awake at night and think of ways I can cut out foods. I have no self control however and my diet is not particularly well stuck to haha. But my mental state about good is worrying about me. I have always appreciated good and loved it a lot... But recently I have become obsessed by it.. I search recipes and spend hours on good blogs just thinking about foods.
Is this beginning of an ED?