I have been pondering whether or not to join a page like this for a long time but I really want to change and who knows, this could help. I am bulimic. It feels weird saying that as I don't like to even admit it to myself. I have been for over two and a half years now. My family do not know, I don't feel I could ever tell them, I couldn't risk breaking my grandmothers heart if she ever found out. My sisters get angry because they say I am like a closed book but I fear If I started talking about my feelings then the despair I feel would just overwhelm me. I am self destructive, erratic and anxious. I really want to start recovering, I want to be around food and not have my mind going at a million miles an hour, I just want to feel at peace with myself. I want to be better. I am bulimic, and I am so tired of it.