Advice on how to cope with husbands condition

[dawny24]

Reading all these posts makes me so sad my husband has Af and COPD but he continues to drink 4 litres cider a day even though his just had his second abilation. My hubby will not change his ways unfortunately

[10gingercats]

Althought this is sad for you to see your husband must accept responsibilty for his own health. I guess you have tried to point out the folly of his ways?

[Paulbounce]

Hi Dawn.

It's easily done. It maybe gives a temporary release from your husbands heath problems. However it won't help in the long term. Unless he wants to change this himself there's nothing you can do.

Would he go to his GP to discuss the matter ? There is help there but he must decide himself if he want's to do this.

Paul

[etheral]

Naive question. Does cider contain alcohol?

[Lupaal in reply to etheral]

Yes, can be quite weak or strong depending which type.

[Singwell]

My brother's an alcoholic, has AF. Has had it for almost 9 years. It's now persistent. He's on Bisoprolol. 4 litres is a lot for your hubby even though the alcohol content in cider is lowish compared with wine. Do you notice the effects of the alcohol moodwise or cognitively? My bro changes personality when drunk. I'm not sure there's an easy solution- you do have to want to change. Could you suggest one day on, one day off with the alcohol? My brother in law also has a drink problem (both are single loners) but manages by the alternate day approach.

And I am sorry btw. I'm heartbroken about my brother and I can only imagine the sadness and frustration you might feel with a spouse.

[Megams]

~My heart goes out to you dawny24 - very familiar with this situation with a precious loved one.Sadly your husband needs to take ownership - your support can be found in the Al-Anon program.

It has helped me in many ways but not quite removed that ache of grief in my heart I sometimes feel.

Abundant blessings are sent your way ~

[Bingofox007]

Bless ya, I lost my husband to alcohol. He was a lovely man. I never left him but in the end gave up trying to stop him for my own self preservation. I loved him but hated what he was doing to us. ITU said they got loads of super-cider drinkers admitted as it’s all chemical. He changed to wine, 5 bottles a day, I’m still paying off his debts. He had the hospice-at-home at the end but he couldn’t believe he was dying and vowed never to drink again! He haemorrhaged to death and ‘drowned’ in front of me on his own blood. I think the stress of it all added to my AF diagnosis. It’s a terrible addiction, the source being so readily available and socially acceptable. Your husband is the only one who can help himself and he’s got to want to. There’s support for you out there snd here. Take care ❤️

[Megams in reply to Bingofox007]

~I just want to add my special love & light to you Bingofox007, belindalore + all others who have come out of the woodwork on this subject.Keeping you all worldwide in my prayers especially with Covid + war conflict adding to woes, not to mention our families who are deeply affected by this chronic addiction & our own health struggles thrown into the mix.

Huge hugs to you all xxx

[belindalore in reply to Megams]

Hugs to you too. Thank you.

[Lucymoo]

Have you thought of joining a support group such as Al-anon for family and friends of alcoholics? This is support for you in managing the situation as others have said your husband is responsible for his behaviours and this may help you?

[July30]

Hi drink in moderation the alcohol is causing a lot of the af .

[belindalore]

My oldest brother was an alcoholic. Committed suicide by drinking. I found him. 16 years later I am haunted by it still. As everyone says here, your husband has to want the help. It's not easy. Alcoholism is a terrible disease. My brother was a member of AA here in the states. He even lectured other members at one time. He'd worked hard all his life. Had children and grandchildren. But he fell off the wagon more than once. The last time he just drank until it killed him. All in the family tried to help. But the alcohol won. I just hope he was finally able to find peace. Tell your husband my story. Tell him he's not hurting just himself but he's hurting the ones who love him. Prayers for you and your loved ones.

[kathie659]

Diagnosed with AF 2017, pacemaker last week.I am an alcoholic, haven't had a drink since 1994. Until I was ready to quit? Nothing or noone could have made me stop. Not parents, children, spouses, friends, bosses...no one.It was suggested that family members find a 12 step program that helps them if a loved ones drinking upsets their lives.

It is unfortunate, but no matter how much we love someone? We cannot change them.