Hello. I read posts almost daily but rarely post. My story is I have permanent AFIB take heart rate and AC meds. I am well controlled and stable. My mother had AFIB so we do have a family history of this problem.
My 60 year old brother (Tim) is a picture of health. Trim, eats very healthy, and exercises 3 to 4 times per week. He has previously been checked for AFIB and did not have it according to doctors.
On Thursday (January 23rd, 2020) Tim had an AFIB stroke. Tim lives with his wife of 39 years. Tim's wife has mobility issues but has a clear sound mind. Tim's wife is able to do basic mobility functions on her own. Unfortunately, his wife did not call 911 (USA). Various family members and friends tried to no avail to contact Tim for several days. This was not that unusual because he was a busy person and sometimes it would take days to reach him. I called him on Sunday (January 26th, 2020) and his wife answered the phone and told me he was on the floor and could not come to the phone. I assumed he was exercising. I said put him on the phone now or we were coming over there. She said he could not talk and was babbling. I quickly asked if she had called 911. I assumed it had just happened and we needed to get help quickly. His wife replied no she had not and she was not going to. I asked how long had he been on the floor and she replied 4 days I immediately hung up called 911 while simultaneously calling my other brother to let him know what was happening. From the time I found out Tim was in danger to calling 911 took less than a minute.
During his 4 days on the floor, his wife showered, ate, drank coffee, and called her sister who lives in another state on a daily basis. We spoke to the sister later and the sister said that she knew and my brothers wife knew Tim had a stroke. The sister said she tried to convince Tim's wife to call 911 and Tim's wife said she was not calling 911. When the sisters was pressed why she didn't call 911 she said she did not know.
As a result Tim has permanent left brain damage and is paralyzed on his right side.
My question is what to do with the Tim's wife? The hospital seems to think she wasn't capable of calling 911 even though she was able to take care of herself and told her sister what was occurring. Additionally, she told me and her sister that she was not going to call 911. We spoke to an attorney and he said that the police would go by what the hospital says about her mental state. In our opinion, she clearly was trying to kill Tim. Does anyone have any advice?
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James_GA
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Gosh.What an awful story. You have to leave this to the police whatever you think about it. The police will probably question you and your family. We can sympathise we you here but it does not seem to me we can advise.
My goodness James I've never heard anything like this! The big question is has Tim's wife explained why she didn't want to call 911 and get help for her husband? Perhaps the police need to ask her that.
It does sound as though her mind has gone, doesn't it? If it hasn't and she did this quite coldly, without any care for her husband, then I think she needs to be tried in court and sentenced according to the outcome.
Did she still love her husband do you know? Forgive me for asking, but he hadn't been having an affair had he? Just trying to think why this woman would act so coldly.
Wow...just unbelievable. Can your brother talk or communicate in any way. He might have the answers you need to lock her up. I am so sorry this happened to your brother. How sad.
A truly tragic situation James but way out of my sphere of knowledge and expertise. In the UK, I believe if something similar happened there would be some sort of investigation into why there was a major delay in seeking medical help. Although everyone here, I’m sure, will be feeling desperately sorry for you, I cannot see how we can help.......an awful position for you to be in.......
While puzzling and chilling to read, I can certainly understand why this is the place to bring this up. Most people would not have an understanding of this situation but everyone here would.
Was she feeding him and getting him to the bathroom or was she literally just leaving him shaking on the floor for 4 days? I think it would be relevant for the police to know about these specifics.
I would notify the State office of Health and Senior Services and hotline the story to them. Clearly she is guilty of neglect and adult abuse. Here in my state and probably all others, these things are investigated within 24 hours. They can later decide her ability re cognition in decision making. Because he did end up in hospital, social services is probably plugged in to the situation but go ahead and report it anyway. You can do it anonymously if you need to. He should not go back home with her
When you think you know someone.🤔That was like reading a psychological thriller. It chilled me to think someone is capable of doing this to another fellow human being not to mention someone who they have been with 39 years.
I would say definitely with intent to make sure he was left suffering(4 days and more if someone had not stepped in) and I would imagine it is up to either the police or the courts to deal with.
We are truly sorry to hear this news. However, we do not feel that this is the place to discuss this situation. Also, as there may be legal implications, it should not be discussed publicly.
I am therefore closing this conversation from any further comments.
Thank you for your understanding.
Rachel - AF Association Patient Services (Forum moderator)
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