Struggling

[Diamonddaisy]

Today I'm experiencing extra beats, also burning /fizzing in palm of my left hand. I am not sure if this is actually to do with af or the fact I have nerve damage with reduced feeling of my little finger after surgery on my elbow a few yrs ago. I'm just feeling really down about this and quite emotional and alone. I have things to do today(time sheet for work) and am just sitting feeling sorry for myself

[doodle68]

Hi Daisy I am having an 'off' day too, I have a respiratory infection and my heart doesn't seem happy about it or the coughing and keeps trying to have a go at a frenzy but not getting far. I have told it to behave and will head off for a walk soon to take my mind off it.

Stay calm,try massaging your hand, keep your mind full of other things and I hope you feel better soon

[Diamonddaisy in reply to doodle68]

Thanks I'm not too well, I think I'm reacting to the flu jab that I had 4days ago. It's the pins and needles and burning pain in my hand that's bothering as I truly don't know what's causing I'd with the arthritis. I was in severe pain in all joints before afib but once o meds the pain basically disappeared. When i told this to gp he dismissed it, but to be in pain all of the summer time when that's usually when I get relief. I'm not Co Vincent's my doctor even knows what he is on about, I know my body. I had joked to my daughter just 2weeks prior saying if I was ever to have a heart attack I'd not know due to pain I my left arm/hand. Now I just don't know x

[jeanjeannie50]

Hi Daisy, well firstly you'll never be alone because members of this forum are always willing to give support to anyone. We've all probably been where you are right now and know just what it's like. I think AF heart problems have to be experienced for anyone to understand just how worrying and annoying they are. Many was the time when I felt sure that I would die because of the way my heart was bouncing around in my chest, but here I am 12 years later still alive and kicking!

First let me reassure you that you are not going to die. In all the years I've been on this site I haven't heard of one person dying from it, you probably have more chance of being knocked down by a bus than your AF killing you.

Don't sit and dwell and worry about it. Try to get your mind elsewhere, if you are too tired to move around then read a book or watch a nice film on t.v. Channel 62 which I believe is called True Christmas is now available and has some lovely films. Don't let AF win, dominate your mind and make you worry, worry will only make the condition worse - that's a fact that I know for sure from experience of when my AF attacks first started.

I can understand that you don't want to do your timesheet - what boring things they are to do! However I'd suggest you do it and then that's a chore done and out of the way.

When I feel a little sorry for myself, I try to count my blessings. I think of all the really horrible things I could have had instead of AF. Do I have a limb missing or cancer - no. I have a nice cosy home to live in, not a mud hut with no access to clean water. Yes, even have a flushing toilet, electricity and a nice clean bed to sleep in, lots of people in the world don't have that.

Always here for you Daisy. Big hug.

Jean

[Diamonddaisy in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Time sheet done, I need to have my wage. I was getting my head round this new stuff but today, well, I'm just done in,. Headache, flutters, raw feeling in chest and ears? Feel very weepy too. I know I can't change this now, but I feel angry coz I'm already ill with everything else I have and have a sick daughter and sick, difficult mother to care for. X

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Diamonddaisy]

Sorry to hear about the sick people in your life. Unfortunately there are times we have to go through when life appears so very hard, but I can assure you it won't always be like this. One thing I've discovered when going through difficult periods in life is that I learn from them and I think I become a better person. Mind you if anyone had told me that at the time I think I would have screamed and clonked them!

Jean x

[Diamonddaisy in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Thank you for your reassuring reply . I am frustrated as I have a busy life and everything seems to of been again me and a big struggle for most of this year. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and your post has made me realise that there are so many people that are worse off than me xxx

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Diamonddaisy]

Trust me, as life is for you now is not how it's going to be forever. You'll come through it and life will be easier. I could list all the tragedies that have befallen me and you would be shocked, but I move forward now not back. x

[meadfoot]

Ah Diamonddaisy sounds like you are feeling really down today, do hope things settle for you quickly and you can get back on track. Big hug coming your way. Take care, Things will improve. X

[Diamonddaisy in reply to meadfoot]

Thank you. I'm a little bit better today and taking it steady x

[Bagrat]

Ugh you are having a rough time. Years ago someone said to me that if you are dealing with someone who seems to drain you ( am thinking of your Mum) remember to sit with your hands together in your lap when near them if you can ( works for other energy draining situations too). Sounds barmy and I am a pragmatist but I found it reminds me I am own person and circumstances can creep up on you so it reminds you to try and protect yourself from giving too much. Similarly if you find the anxiety and anger building up, hold your hands out palm up and imagine the emotion leaking out! Nerve pain is horrid Daisy and difficult to distract yourself from I know. You have lots of support here.

Pain is a weird thing and distraction does work. If I'm feeling low I'm more aware of my creaky body and I expect you are the same. Tomorrow will be a new day and could well be better.

[Diamonddaisy in reply to Bagrat]

Thank you. The flutters have calmed down today, I'm full of cold since having my flu jab and finding it hard to find something to help me as I know I can't use the usual lemsip etc which always make me feel better. I'm taking it easy today. You are right about my mum too. She drains me, is a very stubborn lady but on a self destruction path and have fond her fallen several times lately she is tiny but was going out and buying whisky (litre bottles) and pretty much drinking the lot. Surgery is looming for her as she has a very bad break on her elbow which h hasn't set (was initially missed at a&e so wasn't put in a caste) she's fallen several times since, refusing pain relief and had heart and kidney issues is constantly saying she wants to die. I dread going, expecting to see her at the bottom of the stairs, this is a twice daily fear I know it's a drink problem as she hides the bottles and also says she's no idea where it has come from

[Buffafly in reply to Diamonddaisy]

I have had experience of caring for a mother who became 'difficult' as her life wound down so I can imagine some of your feelings. It is heartbreaking watching someone who is really tired of life but their body doesn't give up, seems to be worse in someone with an independent spirit.

Is there any way you can get a little respite care for your daughter? You need a regular break so you don't break, leaving someone else less caring to pick up the pieces - this may be an impractical suggestion or you already tried and failed, but if not don't follow your mother's example and try to go it alone. My very best wishes 💕

[Hidden]

Even at age 70 now,,,I can still hear my Dads words,,,"nothing lasts forever" or "let's hope tomorrow is a better day" ,,,he was always full of positive comments,,and his go to phrase "don't waste time worrying about something you can't control",,,,he lived to age 75 when brain cancer ended this wonderful mans life,,,hoping your days get better and you take one day at a time,,,I know it's easier said than done,,,but afib is crummy and can rear it's ugly head and ruin a moment ,a day or more,,,but try to focus on the good things and the good days,,,,we are all out here and understand how you feel,,,,sending you positive vibes!!!

[Diamonddaisy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I have no idea why I was struggling so much, I think I'm just and anxious worrier. Always have been. I will try not to as much as I do know there is only so much I can do. I'm a perfectionist so it's hard.

[Hidden]

Never forget to be kind to yourself too,,,you carry burdens and must allow yourself moments to take time out,,,have that cup of tea,,,reflect on the positives,!!Tomorrow is another day and it may well be better,,