Doctor will not approve any further treatments as he says it could have a fatal outcome for my dad. PC has spread to liver and PSAs are rising rapidly.
What can we expect moving forward? What are some ways this is likely to play out?
We are getting community resources together bc he is home. Any insights are welcome. To be clear, we are not looking for treatment ideas. That’s no longer an option. Am interested in what we can expect and how to navigate the final time we have with him. Thanks for understanding.
Written by
wontrememberthis
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I’m DEEP into palliative care ( kinda a cross between deep palliative and home hospice ) and have been for several years. If it were me, based on my own experience, I’d jump right onto the palliative care registry. They will fawn all over him, pester him to make sure he is happy and very comfortable, and if different treatments are available and warranted, you have a very powerful advocate in palliative care. I highly recommend it. Palliative care will seek to make both you and close family members comfortable as well. Nothing to “ face “ but “ make you smile care “. Lotsa perks come with palliative care too.
Just IMHO and from years of palliative care of my own.
Man, this has not been our experience of Palliative Care. We go to their office once a month and they ask Joe the same questions about pain, meds, etc., then listen to his lungs and heart and send us on our way. That office is the one that renews his oxy, so we continue to go…..
We get great help from pain management clinic! Joe has had multiple shots in his hips and back for pain. Going again next week to see what else they suggest cuz the pain is NOT being controlled by the shots and/or oxy. Maybe PSMA PET scan this week will explain what’s going on….And what might bring him relief.
You should contact your local Hospice society for advice and to learn about options. They are very caring and supportive people. They will have had lots of experience with patients who can't accept that they are nearing the end of life. They can offer you guidance in how best to approach your father. Best of luck.
highly recommend getting hospice involved. And taking advantage of all that they have to offer even if you don’t think he needs it at the moment. It is better to have the equipment on hand and not need it than it is to need it and not have it. I hope his remaining time is peaceful and pain free..
I've tried to explain this exact same thing to people. My husbands body is also ravaged. He is tired, in pain and no options out there can help him at this point. He is tired of being poked and probed and given medicines that make him feel worse. He is still reluctant to try strong pain relief meds due to constipation worries. I have gotten him some RSO . Its waiting for him to accept it. but pain meds scare him. Its just a short matter of time before he will be wanting pain relief. I can only tend to his needs, keep things light and happy. Have his favorite snacks on hand.. just in case..., keep him warm and clean. Palliative care is next... He just got a SP catheter { Cath comes out of his tummy instead of his uretha} and that has helped to get him more sleep thru the night. Again, My heart aches for you. Cancer sucks.
Like my husband.... He is out of options... Nothing will work at this point. They are tired and just want rest. Anything the docs try will just hurt more than help. There comes a time when we just have to accept the truth and prepare for the end.
hi! My dad recently went through this same experience with significant mets to his liver and no treatment options left. He was referred to hospice mid December and was able to stay comfortably at home until he passed this week. Originally we were told he only had a few weeks left but we had a solid 3 months with him. He still maintained a great quality of life until a week before he passed. Hospice was amazing in guiding us through the process. If you live in an area with access to hospice supports I highly recommend contacting them as soon as possible. I think connecting with local caregiver support options is a good idea as it can be tough at times.
Palliative Care is very different depending on the provider, and where you are located.. At a hospital or clinic it generally is pain management only. From lots of experience with this, I suggest you interview to find a very good Hospice provider that is nonprofit (much better than for profit hospices that can also be not very compassionate) and have a consult for their range of services. Most offer excellent palliative services for patients like your father that will naturally evolve into more traditional hospice services when and as needed. Good providers also have caregiver and grief support for you and your family. Important to get him enrolled asap though. Best wishes for a good experience at a most difficult time.
I second Kaliber's rec to seek palliative care. At Kaiser in Northern California palliative care is separate from pain management. I find the palliative Care doctor to be very supportive of both my family and myself.
I highly recommend the book “Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest” by Sammy Winemaker,MD. You probably won’t benefit from the early chapters, but I found the final chapters very helpful in dealing with my husband’s terminal condition. Dr Winemaker outlines what to expect and how to determine approximately where he fits on life’s timeline. The only part that I wasn’t prepared for was severe terminal agitation. It’s well worth having Hospice available for appropriate medications. My heart goes out to you.
many have found it to be 100% effective therapy for depression and are interested in a painless cancer-free eternity. What could be more relevant here?
suggest you book appt with a hospice group; they will come to you. They will advise you of all they offer. If your father is alert, involve him. He can decide what he wants them to do for him or not. Prayers for all at this difficult time. I’ve been there and hospice was wonderful!
If I may, I would like to suggest a series of posts made a few years ago by a fellow member as he gave us weekly updates of his experience after treatment stopped. His name was JimBarringer and his story was very moving and interesting as he described his final few weeks. Here is a link to one of his posts and most were titled “Hospice Journey”, followed by the date he was writing about.
I’m not the one to thank. Unfortunately the brave soul we should be thanking is gone. I don’t think I could bring myself to write so extensively in the last few weeks of my life. But I am grateful that he did. It meant a lot to me or I would not have remembered it after so much time has passed.
Its frustrating isn't it. My husband is also in the phase where no other treatment options are available to him that will help him or allow him to live longer. Many people keep telling me to try this, that, and the other, when ever I ask what to expect in these last 6 to 9 months. I appreciate their suggestions and the time they take to respond, but it seems like people like us just want to know what we can expect in these last months. For us, palliative care is right on the horizon. He should be on it now, but so far he is uninterested in anything to help with his pain. I'm sorry you are going thru this. I completely understand how you feel and I hope for the best for you all. Take care, be brave and enjoy the simple things between you with the time you have left. God Bless.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
What’s Next? 
What’s Next?
What’s next? Hearing different approaches from different people. 
First treatment of Taxotere
Enzalutamide Drug and no radio therapy. 
