First week on the meds....

[DotingDad]

Hi All

I was diagnosed with ADD 7 years ago, though I resisted medication at the time. I'm 47 years old.

Since then, my 19 year old son has been diagnosed, and more recently my 6 year old daughter. I presume they've inherited it from me....

My diagnosis was 'mild ADD'. It doesn't impair my professional life, I've learned to turn the hyperfocus into a strength, coupled with my natural chatty personality which opens doors. As for the boredom I've done a good job of masking at work, and I'm 'relatively' well organised.

I've recently started on the meds in a trial. 10mg of Medikinet (slow release methylphendinate). 7 days in and the sharpness and focus is very clear, I'm racing through tasks and feel very 'on it'. I'm still getting occasional bouts of 'buzziness' at various points in the day, which can feel a bit uncomfortable, whilst at times a little euphoric.

Does this pass?

My issue is that, despite the evidence (son, daughter, and my own diagnosis) I still remain resistant and skeptical as to whether I have ADD. I've never lived a different life, so I don't know any different. I find myself thinking 'wouldn't everyone that takes medikinet feel like this anyway? Am I actually underachieving and will accepting I have ADD, taking action, enable me to achieve greater success than I first envisaged?

Will 10mg of Medikinet daily cause long term medical issues? I don't smoke, I don't drink too often, I keep fit. I'm resistant to taking meds, but at the same time I must admit that this past 7 days have felt super-productive. I'm also noticing myself more 'present' when playing with my 6 year old.

Sorry for the rant, just interested in peoples opinions

thanks

Mark

[Bonsai24]

Hi, I’m going through a similar stage, thank you for posting! I can completely relate. I was just diagnosed in my mid 40s after two of my children were diagnosed with ADHD. I just started medication because I wasn’t sure how I would be able to help my kids navigate this new diagnosis without at least seeing what “normal” is like. The medication has definitely helped clear my mind and be more productive. I don’t think I’m at the right dose yet but I’m afraid of losing the things about ADHD that actually help me excel at my job. As you mentioned hyperfocus, staying calm in chaos, flexibility are key for me at work.

I’ve also noticed that I’m more present with my children which to me is priceless. I’m now realizing how much time I’ve lost being spacey and checked out and my whole life tried to battle it on my own. Had the same doubts about should I be taking meds when I’ve made it this far without and come up with so many strategies to stay organized. But it is so tiring because I’m working 10 times harder than my husband for the same or way less results.

So for now, I’m going to keep on the meds and search for the right one and right dose. I feel like I’m hearing conflicting information about the medications not causing tolerance because many people seem to report needing higher doses with time. My other concern as a parent is when I take medication holidays as my psychiatrist recommended I am in a slump and I definitely do not have time for that!!

[DotingDad in reply to Bonsai24]

Great post! thanks for reaching out.

I've actually reduced my dosage by 1/2 to only 5mg medikinet (slow release methylphenidate) because my concern is the 10mg made me far too buzzy, albeit it was early days. Guess what? the 5mg feels just the same. I can't work out whether I feel sharper and more productive, or just a bit buzzed. It's uncomfortable, but I guess that's to be expected.

I'm guilty of always thinking thinking thinking. As a result, I struggle to play games with my daughter if they don't excite me, I just dread it. This I regret, I'd love to be able to get involved at her level and be content with it, but it feels exhausting. I'm hopeful the meds may offer me this new way of being with her.

Oddly, I don't struggle with organisation, for the most part. However I'm terrible with the small print, I'm Mr Blue Sky, always thinking about the exciting bigger picture, but struggle with a graveyard of unfinished projects. Simply put, when the project gets into admin-mode, less inspiring, I struggle to motivate and focus.

As I said, I've no idea whether this is normal or ADD, I've never known any different. I hate the idea of being reliant on meds, but equally I'd be a fool to shut off the opportunity. Just want to feel a bit more comfortable on them!

Struggling to sleep a little since taking them, that's the overthinking in me....

Thanks

Mark

[Bonsai24 in reply to DotingDad]

You are making me wonder if I'm on too much. I listened to this excellent webinar by a Dr. Dodson: youtu.be/Q8l8JTRx7Pw(Not working as expected?). He is really into getting to the right med at the right dose which I agree if I've lived this long like this it makes sense to make the best of what time I have left! I tried to go up on meds and I'm not sure if I'm feeling better or worse? The buzzy feeling I had when I first started Vyv 30 mg did wear off after a few days and though I initially had trouble sleeping, that resolved too. My appetite is also gradually improving but it's so easy to go the whole day not eating. But now I'm on 40 mg and not sure what to think. I'm not having an aha moment like I initially did on the 30 mg.

Also I can definitely relate to having trouble being in the moment when playing with my kids. Certain things with them are absolutely exhausting, so I've focused on doing things with them that we both enjoy. LOL to the graveyard of unfinished projects, that is so ADHD. The to do list seems insurmountable at times but I'm always ready to come up with creative solutions. I just don't always want to do the grunt work to make them happen. Sounds like I need to be a boss