Son-in-Law has Stage 3 Melanoma at 36

[Peaches8]

Is this group still Alive? I’m in need of support for my Daughter and family. Thanks

[KatieC937]

Hi Peaches8! How can I help? I’m a melanoma stage 3 survivor of 8 years. Happy to share or listen.

[Peaches8 in reply to KatieC937]

Hi Katie, thanks for responding. We are in a waiting game. My Son- In- Law has melonoma. He had his mole removed back in July. That turned out fine. But then they said something about his lymph node. That it was malignant. Cancer. The big word. We are trying to find out what everything means by googling. We do not really know if he has stage 3 melonoma. The Doctor does not give much information. They keep pushing his appointment back. They are doing a cat scan on September 5th. My daughter is a nervous wreck. We have to see if it spread. She has a little girl and is worried about her losing her father. She is 3 years old and does not know what is going on. My daughter needs to know everything before she can heal. She found out the whole process for her birth too. She would not have been able to get threw it if she did not. She wants to know all the details at his point. She thinks it is detrimental and worried he is going to die soon. And that she has to live with this for the rest of her life. Worring if it will return or not. So, I try to tell her not to be so depressed. And to go on as you would before. So, I do not know how to help her. Is she overreacting? I told her to go for support. And she says she is not there yet. Any support you can give us would be great. Knowing that you are still here, Is a good thing.

[KatieC937 in reply to Peaches8]

Was the mole they took off melanoma? Did he have a wide level excision for his mole & a sentinel node lymph biopsy already? Do you have a pathology report you could share?

Please tell your daughter that melanoma treatment has come a long way in the last few years. And try to focus her energy on her family until she has something to be concerned about. The waiting game is by far the hardest part. Many of us with stage 3/4 diagnosis do well with treatment and are finally declared NED (no evidence of disease). I would recommend they do BRAF testing if he does have melanoma in his lymph system. This will help you determine if targeted therapy is a better option for him vs. immunotherapy. Don’t google. Or look any any statistics. They don’t paint the current medical position. And don’t read all the horror stories online. Realize that those speaking online are often a small percentage of people who may have more severe side-effects or outcomes. I, myself, have a 5 year old son. I birthed him post stage 3 melanoma diagnosis. I’ve been NED about 8 years now. I was also diagnosed in my early thirties. Tell your daughter to write everything down during the appointments. Come with questions written. Don’t be afraid to seek second opinions. And make sure you see an oncologist who is Melanoma specialist who is up to date on the most current treatments and clinical trials. I felt more comforted after my oncology appt when I new what was coming next. I am not going to lie, it’s a long, tough road. But I am an example of someone coming out the other side. Please feel free to have your daughter contact me if she needs some support.