Cancer treatment can cause physical/e... - SHARE Ovarian Can...
Cancer treatment can cause physical/emotional changes which many women find affects desire/ability to have sex How have you dealt with this?
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My husband is a deeply caring man and was so happy I made it out alive after a radical hysterectomy, December 2014. He understands that sex very painful for me and that my identity has been forever altered. I do get a prescription for estradiol cream (topical) but rarely use it now as I'm back on chemo for reoccurring cancer.
Interesting question. It's something I'm quite conscious of. I had my surgery in January, & have only recently finished my chemo. My husband has been utterly amazing & supportive, but we've not yet managed to overcome this hurdle. We have briefly touched on the subject, but nothing more. I intend to try and talk through my fears with someone as I'd love to get back to an active loving sex life, but also feel like I have been forever changed by my cancer diagnosis & surgery. I'm still striving to find who the new me is...😕
Sarahsjourney, Yes, I felt exactly the same way. After finishing chemo it took me months to feel a resemblance to "normal". As my energy slowly came back I have been reclaiming myself and mapping the "new normal". Now that I have a new routine to rely on I am much more happy. Reviving my sex life has been a slow, natural progression. I am amazed that after having a radical surgery which altered ALL my plumbing, that my edited female parts work just fine!!! My fear nearly convinced me that I would never have a normal sex life again. I'm not scared any more and all parts work just great! 
Thank you Tesla_7 this is SO reassuring! It's a subject which doesn't seem to come up much in the forum & yet I'm very conscious of it. You have given me much hope for the future, and I'm sure in time once I'm physically feeling better & brave enough to try life will start to feel more like normal again, even if it's a 'new' normal 😘
This is a very crucial subject deserving discussion, education and sharing. Having a mastectomy followed 10 years later by a radical hysterectomy killed my sexual desire completely. However, the loss of my female organs does not make me feel un attractive or damaged because my sense of self is rooted in my mind, not my body parts. Losing my hair was far worse than losing female parts! No one knows if you're missing your womb or ovaries, but the entire world can see that a person with no eyebrows, lashes or hair is very, very ill.
My husband and I have long had a very enjoyable sexual relationship. We are still deeply in love after many years. So, while I no longer feel sexual desire my need for emotional intimacy is stronger than ever. What was once a spontaneous hormonally driven urge has been replaced by a deeper longing for togetherness.
We resumed our lovemaking a year after surgery after first line chemo finished. Yes, I was very, very scared to do so. I made myself do it because my fear of never making love again was soul crushing. My husband is kind, patient and gentle. All parts are still in working order thanks to hormone cream and water based lubricant. I hope that other women can reclaim whatever parts of their intimate life they choose to resume. It is a deeply personal decision. What works for me or makes me happy may well not work for someone else.
I would love to, I miss it, but hubby can't and has not figured out how to regain that closeness.
Hi all, thank you for sharing your stories with us. There's a webinar tomorrow on Sexuality after Cancer that delves more into the topic. There will be discussions about the physical, psychological, and relationship issues that often emerge after treatment. If you're interested you can register here: bit.ly/2oimcpW
