Ever since I lost my virginity and started to have regular sex with that partner, I've known something was wrong. I've known for years now that I find sex uncomfortable and that I've never been able to orgasm through penetration, only clitoral stimulation.
I've been so embarrassed about this, that I cant enjoy sex like a 'normal' person, so I've always pretended that I like sex and that it feels good and I fake an orgasm every time.
Every partner (all long term boyfriends) has been none the wiser. I've been with the same great guy for just over 2 years now and I've racked myself with guilt about it. I first told him that sometimes I go through long periods of not being able to cum, just so I don't have to fake it anymore, but have never told him that I often feel really uncomfortable and don't actually feel much at all.
I decided enough was enough and so told him everything (as I see a real future with him and don't want to lie to him anymore). He's taken it very hard as he has believed this whole time that we've been having amazing sex and now he feels a great lack of trust. I really think this could make or break us, but I had to tell him, he doesn't deserve to be lied to.
I'm really stuck at the moment! I've always created this fake little world where I writhe around and moan and I've gotten extremely good at making it believable, because I'd rather pretend I'm okay then deal with having to explain the problem. I've always felt that I can never tell anyone too soon in a relationship as no one wants someone who cant have sex properly, but there's never been a right time to just 'bring it up'.
Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated...