Mind working overtime

[mrsturner17]

Can anyone else relate to my situation? I'm being completely driven crazy by paranoia which I assume is cuz of my hormones I constantly think that when my partner is alone while I'm at work or out or whatever that he is up to something that he shouldn't be and it's driving me mad !! Has anyone else felt like this while pregnant?

[Megzey]

Can't say I have been like that when I was pregnant your hormones are just running riot and can do strange things to woman. After I had my second I got paranoid and kept saying to my husband please dont leave me and just start crying. We hadn't even argued or anything i just got really emotional which is not like me at all.

If your partner isn't doing anything for you to distrust him then just focus on being pregnant and not what your partner is doing.

[Peanut1]

Hi,

I've not had it bad since pregnancy, but I have suffered something similar in past that I had some good advice on that really helped, so i recognised the signs and how to combat it in pregnancy, which may help you.

Apologies for the essay!

About 5 years ago I was in a car crash and was signed on work for 4 weeks. My husband worked 50 miles away in a restaurant so left early to avoid traffic on m25 and would be back late, this wasn't unusual and nothing changed during this time to his working pattern, I also worked in a restaurant about 15 miles from his, so I understood the working hours and drive time. However, I started to become increasingly paranoid that he wasn't where he said he was and was doing something he shouldn't be.

It to so bad it really put a strain on our relationship, I would question him, call work to check he was there, I even started checking his phone - yet there was nothing to uncover.

Finally I went to see the doctor as I was driving myself so insane with paranoia. after speaking to them it was explained to me that because I had hurt my back in the crash and was off work I was isolating my self. I was feeling pain etc from the crash that no one else could understand, I spent long periods of time on my own and with how effected my body felt by pain at the time I was convinced my husband would look elsewhere. It was an awful time and the more I shut my husband out and didn't speak to Him about it the worse it got. Finally after seeking help and having the isolation feeling explained to me I opened up to my husband who was really supportive.

The problem with this feeling is it can stop you interacting normally with your partner, avoiding conversation, sex or intimacy of any type which will make the problem seem worse as partners naturally respond to our behaviour.

I started feeling like this again when I fell pregnant, but was able to spot the signs and spoke to my husband about it. Pregnancy can be quite an isolating time as our bodies are experiencing so many changes that no one else can feel or understand. Our levels of excitement and fascination at what's growing inside of us may be at a different level to our partners, because in the early stages of pregnancy it can take longer for them to adjust to the idea of pregnancy and a baby than us. it's not because they are less interested or excited its just because they cannot see or feel it, it's less real to start with for them. This can lead to both partners planning being at different stages, which can be frustrating.

All of these things can make pregnancy very isolating to start with, then add in all of the additional hormones and it can leave you unhappy in a time when you feel you should be over the moon. There is nothing wrong with this, but the best solution is to talk about it sooner rather than later to stop it getting worse.

This might be so far away from where you are at, but I hope it helps in some way.

You are not alone during this there are loads of people you can talk to and who will support you. Try to explain to your husband how you're feeling and why you think this is, communication is the key, even if it feels its the hardest thing in the world to do.

Good luck xx

[Kaleidoscope]

I can relate to you. You've got some good advice there from Peanut1.

I was convinced my partner was getting it on with a friend he was playing guitar for. He had been texting her and messaging long letters to her on facebook. She is married (happily as far as I'm aware) with 2 children but I couldn't understand the need to be writing her long messages, I certainly don't write me thoughts and feelings to other men and it is just a bit too unusual for me to be comfortable with that. I did speak about it to him but he was quite dismissive and got angry, he stopped communicating with her and stopped playing guitar with her too making an excuse about the reason for stopping. I didn't feel good about having said something sadly and just came across as a bit nutty.

Communication is key and is a two way street. I do relate to the isolation that Peanut1 spoke of as I'm living somewhere where I don't know anyone at all and in pregnancy it's the last possible time loneliness and isolation ought visit. I have not combatted this to any level but am more at ease with my own company. The chance to make friends won't be any time soon and sadly isolating myself in the home as my partner thinks I over react about most things so the outlet is not there to be supported with any understanding at home, plus I'm in too much and have cabin fever. To remedy that I see a counsellor and have been doing heaps of knitting and crochet to keep myself busy and to have something else to think about.

What you're feeling is very normal I believe and it's good that you are strong enough to ask questions and seek a resolution! Good Luck! x

[mrsturner17]

Thanks for the advice ladies x