16 week not buying yet has anyone Too scared about mis... - NCT


48,732 members15,756 posts

16 week not buying yet has anyone Too scared about misscarrige

Afrohair profile image

Has anyone started buying I’m going to wait till 20 week but would love to hear people’s stories to make me feel better

30 Replies

I’m convinced something is very wrong all the time and have a lot of anxiety, but my partner on the other hand is just so excited and he’s started encouraging me to buy little bits, so we’ve got a couple of outfits and we went and bought a Moses basket, I honestly don’t think I’d have the balls to buy anything if it wasn’t for him and I’d wait until the baby was born, but I want him to be able to enjoy this pregnancy even if I am a pessimist, I’ve kept receipts for everything and tags won’t be removed etc until at least 30 weeks xx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to cmbxm

That’s how I feel at the minute it’s so difficult

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to cmbxm

My partner so excited aswell I think I’ll be a bit better after 20 week scan

cmbxm profile image
cmbxm in reply to Afrohair

I honestly think I’ll start to relax after the 20 week scan or as soon as I start feeling this nugget kick, I just feel so detached and numb from this baby which sounds awful because they’re so wanted but I’m so scared to get attached to it, I feel so guilty when my partner sits there and talks to the baby and rubs my belly but I just don’t want to lose it so won’t allow myself to love it if that makes a horrible amount of sense

I didn’t start properly buying anything until after 20 weeks - we had the nursery done when I was full term! Even then I was scared right until my daughter arrived safely. She followed a chemical pregnancy & a tough 7 year struggle so my nerves were awful. Try to remember losses after 12 weeks are extremely rare xxx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to

Thankyou I’m definitely going to wait it’s so difficult when you’ve struggled

So glad I’ve found this thread. I’m measuring as 14 weeks + 5 days. Got a private 16-week scan booked for next week. Even though the 12-week scan all looked good and baby is healthy, I’m always worrying and feeling anxious, particularly as we’ve told friends and family now. I even do silly things like Google how big the bump should be at this point as a comparison - I’m worried that because I’m not really showing yet that there could be a problem. I want to enjoy the process but keep worrying! Sorry to not add any advice on this thread Afrohair, but wanted to add that I feel similar in terms of worries. xxx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to

I look very small this time aswell I keep pointing it out I’m not even showing measured well at 12 week got to wait till 20 week

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to

Just so you know your dating sounds ok so don’t worry too much being a week out x

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to

Heard heart beat yesterday so satisfied all is well just small baby or positioning

in reply to Afrohair

Thanks for your reply and for your assurance re: bump size - sounds normal to not necessarily have one this early 😊 Great news all is going well with your little one - congrats! ☺️ xx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to

I think everyone different I lost a lot of weight last year so think I’m going to show later my other children I was showing now so I think that could be something to do with it and when I had my daughter via c s they said she was positioned funny she was also a small baby x

SRA8 profile image
SRA8 in reply to Afrohair

I didnt show until I was around 23/24 weeks.

We waited till after the 20 week scan, purely because of a previous MMC, guess we didn’t want to tempt fate!

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to Cookie_92

Thaya what I think I’m going to do ive seen a few bits on sale but just ignored it x

I feel the same to I'm 17+4 days went for private scan yesterday and found out gender we are having a boy. We are waiting till 26 weeks after 4d scan to go baby shopping.

Hello. I just wanted to offer some reassurance through sharing my experience. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks + 5 days in September 2019, I started bleeding the day before my 12 week scan. It was quite a traumatic experience as I thought we was in the safe zone and I lost a lot of blood and had to have procedures done to remove what was left and the day I should of been having my 12 week scan, I had to have an internal scan to check everything had come away, so it was physically and emotionally hard! :(

Fast forward 3 months and we found out we're pregnant again December 2019! It was a bittersweet feeling as we was over the moon but so worried the same would happen again. I told myself I wouldn't get my hopes up or buy anything until the 20 weeks scan but by 10 weeks I was buying bits of clothes! But still telling myself we could return them if needs be.. After the 12 week scan we felt reassured but still there was something at the back of my mind telling me not to get excited... Even after the 20 week scan, finding out we're having a boy and 26 week 4D scan, my instincts were saying 'Still, something could happen...' Anyway, I'm currently nursing my 2 week old baby boy while I write this! 😁

It's natural to worry and think the worse and not want to get your hopes up.. But little miracles do happen and I think you should buy things and try to enjoy the pregnancy and think positively, as hard as it is! I still can't believe my little boy is here and he's been here for 2 weeks! By 16 weeks the chances of miscarriage are really low and having previous miscarriages doesn't make you more likely to have another one, each pregnancy is different. I know you won't rest completely until baby is born as I know I didn't! But I hope my story brings you hope :) good luck x

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to EJThompson2

Thankyou I was same I found out baby died at my 12 week scan they said it was likely he/she only just died as my dates were the same x

Hi all,

We ended up waiting till after the 20 week scan to start purchasing things. Now that I've reached 27 weeks I feel much calmer and can actually enjoy it!

Sending you all virtual hugs and smooth pregnancies ahead !

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to Rella22

I think I’ll be better after 20 week x

Hi I had bleeding early on and then some pain at bout 18 weeks, but all was fine. Didn't start buying untill 28 weeks and still now 34 weeks all feels but unreal..so it's normal to be apprehensive and every pregnancy,, baby diffrent

I didn’t buy anything until 7.5 months pregnant. I’m 38 weeks now, and bought everything at this point, but I definitely recommend to wait. Even now I’m freaking out. Hopefully everything goes well, but the return policy is just 30 days and we way passed that now.

Believe me it’s plenty of time to buy staff, no rush.

I did already wash my future baby clothes and removed all the tags!

Good luck with everything!

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to olira2203

Aww bless !

I was the same. Put together an online registry!!! You can be excited and pick stuff out but without actually making purchases.

I was the same as you, always said i wouldnt buy anything until 20 weeks after a MC in the past and this being IVF. However the travel system I wanted was in the sale so i ordered that online at 14 weeks 🤣🤣 then after a 16 week scan where we found out the gender we bought 3 pink things and then waited until after the 20 week scan.

Either way, whatever you decide, wont affect your beautiful baby. Do what makes you feel comfortable xxx

Oh I couldn’t even think of a whole travel system my mum is very superstitious and with my last babies wouldn’t even let me bring them home luckily when I had my daughter the shop kept it this baby my child will have the same travel system I’m not getting new this time as it was expensive and really good quality unless I treat myself and get a silver cross always wanted one and it’s my last baby x

Yeah I specifically ordered it back in May and for delivery at 30 weeks, I was going to send it to my mams but then when it came I just wanted to look at it lol.xx

I was 100% the same. I started to buy slowly things to help me realise it was OK and it was happening ❤️ that helped me. I had super aniexty through most of it and didn't tell anyone we were pregnant until 20 weeks. dont be harsh on yourself and take it but by bit ❤️😊 xxx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair in reply to HollyT7

I’ve not told a single soul want to keep it that way as more stress especially my mother she always tells the world anything I do lol x

Hi, I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant and have only just started buying baby stuff. Like you a little nervous after having had a healthy son aged 3 years and then 3 miscarriages. It’s quite normal to feel some anxiety.

The first thing I bought my son was a book. Maybe start with something small before you get on to the bigger things. Call it a gift from you to the baby. It does get better xx

You may also like...